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The Cavalcade’s review of Twilight: Eclipse

Posted in movies, reviews, Twilight, vampires with tags movies, reviews, Twilight, vampires on March 8, 2011 by Paxton

So, despite the fact I am constantly speaking out against this entire series, I continue to watch the movies. I’m committed at this point. For better or worse, I’m finishing the series. I originally spoke out about the books while I reviewed the first movie here. I watched and reviewed the second ridiculous movie, New Moon, here.

So after the debacle that was the second movie, I was actually excited to see the third movie because the trailer looked good. And what I mean by that is that I didn’t hate the trailer on sight. It looks like they decided to push the whole Bella/Edward nonsense to the back and focus on a new vampire who is creating a vampire army to take on the Cullens. It looked, well, if not good, then at least interesting. Let’s take a quick look at that trailer to freshen our memories and to give you the state my head was at when I watched this movie.

See, not too bad…considering what has come before. And I kept hearing from people that this is the best Twilight movie. However, now that I think about that, I’m not really sure how great a compliment that is. That’s like being the smartest guy in Special Ed. But there looks to be some good vampire vs werewolf action, Jacob has that great line about “…killing some vampires” and the new vampire army walking slowly out of the lake. Not bad, Twilight. Not bad.

Anyway, in light of this trailer, I recently convinced my wife to sit down with me and watch the third movie (she hated the first two). I’m going to try to keep my review spoiler free. Here we go.

F**K. THIS. MOVIE.

I hope that’s clear and concise enough to everyone involved in making and writing the movie. F**K. THIS. MOVIE. It’s terrible. That trailer up above? It’s the second trailer. I should have watched the first trailer. In a quick 1:40 trailer you get the best 10 minutes of the movie. The rest of the nearly 2 hours is taken up with Bella/Edward bullsh*t. The big Cullen vampires/Wolf Pack battle with the vampire army didn’t happen until like an hour and forty minutes in. Yeah, for AN HOUR AND FORTY MINUTES I had to watch the sappy EMO melodrama that is Bella with her ENORMOUS two front teeth and hipster Edward who looks like he never washes his hair. I actually hated this movie MORE than New Moon. It’s going to be really hard to sit down to watch Breaking Dawn. I just can’t take anymore Bella and Edward. Plus, Dakota Fanning and the Volturi only show up in 2 scenes. And no Michael Sheen. What’s the point?

So to the entire Twilight franchise, but especially this movie. F**K YOU and everything you’ve done to the lore and myth of the vampire.

Oh, my wife’s review was something like, “…the only part of the movie I liked was when Jacob took his shirt off.”

So there you go.

I’m going to watch the last movie (Or two, since I hear the fourth is supposed to be in two parts a la Harry Potter) but only out of stubborn obligation.

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14 vintage ads for video games based on movies

Posted in Activision, advertising, Atari, Back to the Future, Batman, movies, Star Wars, video games with tags advertising, Back to the Future, Batman, Cavalcade Arcade, movies, nostalgia, pop culture, Star Wars, video games, vintage on February 21, 2011 by Paxton

I love movies. I love video games. So, obviously, I love video games based on movies. Well, I love the idea of video games based on movies. And this type of corporate synergy has been going on for years. Ever since the enormous popularity of the Atari 2600, both video game companies and Hollywood have tried to capitalize on popular movie brands to boost sales. And it makes for awesome pop culture ephemera.

So here are 14 awesomely vintage ads for video games based on popular movie franchises.

ET (Atari 2600 – 1982) – This is it. The game that felled the house of Atari. Yes, I owned this game and hated every second I played it. I know a lot of people now retroactively say they enjoyed it, but I HATED it. You can only fall into an empty pit so many times before you throw the controller through the TV screen. Surprisingly, this game was designed by the same guy that did Yars’ Revenge, the highest selling original Atari game (and one of my all time favorites). Talk about Jekyll and Hyde. Seanbaby rated ET #1 on his list of 20 worst video games OF ALL TIME.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (Atari 2600 – 1982) – Around the same time ET was released, Atari also released this game based on the first Indiana Jones movie. And it’s starring YOU!

Total Recall (NES – 1990) – Video game based on the popular Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, Total Recall. Seanbaby rated this game #15 on his list of 20 worst video games OF ALL TIME.

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure (NES – 1991) – Bill & Ted. It is amazing this movie was as popular as it was. I mean, the movie spawned a sequel, a cereal, a cartoon show and a live action show at Universal Studios. And Keanu is even talking about making another one. Most excellent. I never played this game but I loved the first movie.

Rambo (NES – 1988) – A side scrolling shoot ’em up adventure game that very closely resembled the Zelda sequel, The Adventures of Link.

(via oldmanwinters)
Star Wars Arcade (Atari – 1983) – The original vector based Star Wars game by Atari was extremely popular with fans. So, of course Atari was going to port it to their home consoles. Here’s an ad for the Atari port of the Star Wars arcade game for the 2600 and 5200.

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Awesome comic book movie trailers for X-men, Thor and Capt America

Posted in comic books, movies, Star Wars with tags comic books, Marvel Comics, movie trailers, movies, Star Wars on February 17, 2011 by Paxton

There have been several awesome trailers released recently for Marvel comic book properties. I feel like I would be remiss if I didn’t post them.

Along with some comments, if you please.

X-Men: First Class – I loved the first two X-Men movies by Bryan Singer in 2000 and 2003 (Wow, it took 3 years to get X2? I didn’t remember that). I was underwhelmed by X3. It wasn’t awful, it just wasn’t GREAT, either. And the more I watch X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the less I like it as a whole. So, to be perfectly honest, I was not on board with this movie. This trailer changes that. It looks BAD ASS. I know you can cut a trailer to hide a sh*tty movie (looking at you, Legion), but this looks AWESOME. I’m confused though, I thought I saw Nightcrawler in this trailer and if this movie is following the chronology of the existing movies, we shouldn’t see him until X2. Whatever, I’m officially interested and a bit excited for this movie.

Captain America: The First Avenger – I was all in on this movie when Chris Evans was announced. I even stayed on board when they said it was going to be a period piece during WWII (I don’t traditionally like war movies). And this trailer alleviates all my concerns. It looks fantastic. I can’t wait to see more footage of Hugo Weaving as Red Skull. At the very least, this has to be better than the 1990 Capt America movie with Matt Salinger. Right?

Thor – I felt about this movie the way I felt about X-Men: First Class…underwhelmed. I just didn’t think Thor translated very well to a movie. I thought it may look silly with the costumes and Asgard. I mean, you all did see Thor show up in the Hulk TV movie, right? SILLY. However, based on this trailer, I was wrong. Chris Hemsworth totally looks the part of Thor and I now can’t wait to see this.

I have to admit, I doubted Marvel Studios for a second there. Despite the fact that their track record since Iron Man has been better than average, I was worried they were straying from their formula. I need not have worried.

Okay, this isn’t a Marvel trailer, but someone took the audio from the above X-Men: First Class trailer and cut a spectacular Star Wars saga trailer to go with it. I mean, it’s fantastic. Check it out.

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Silence of the Lambs was released 20 years ago today

Posted in movies, pop culture with tags anniversary, movies, pop culture on February 14, 2011 by Paxton

(Via MovieGoods)

Silence of the Lambs was released on Feb 14, 1991, which makes it 20 years old today. Here are some things you probably never knew about the movie.

The Silence of the Lambs book is a sequel to the book Red Dragon. Red Dragon was originally adapted as a movie in 1986 with Brian Cox (left) portraying Hannibal Lecter.

Because Manhunter was a flop, producer Dino De Laurentis passed on making Silence of the Lambs and gave away the rights to make the sequel for free to Orion Pictures.

The skulls on the Death’s Head moths in the movie are not natural markings. The moths were given coverings with the skull marking.

Despite being released in February (traditionally considered a dead zone for Oscar contention), Silence garnered a sweep of the major Oscar award categories including Actor, Actress, Director, Picture and Adapted Screenplay. It is one of only three films to accomplish this sweep (the others are It Happened One Night (1934) and One Flew Over the Cukoo’s Nest (1975)).

The rights to the book were originally bought by Gene Hackman in order to star. Hackman decided not to do the movie after doing Mississippi Burning because he didn’t want to do another violent movie.

Here’s a newspaper ad for a Sneak Preview of Silence of the Lambs on February 1, 1991 (via Held Over!)

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15 more things I’ve learned about life while watching movies and TV

Posted in hollywood life lessons, humor, movies, pop culture, TV shows with tags hollywood life lessons, movies, pop culture, TV shows on February 8, 2011 by Paxton

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In March 2010, I posted a list of 17 things I learned about life while watching movies and TV shows. It was extremely popular. It got picked up by WordPress.com and posted on the front page. It’s still one of my most popular articles. So, I thought, why not write a sequel?

And here that sequel is. 15 more things I’ve learned about life while watching movies and television.

When fighting, before punching or delivering a kick, make sure your opponent is standing in front of some breakable object. A wooden wall or glass table or shelving, for example. That way if you miss striking your opponent, you’ll shatter/break the object behind which, while it doesn’t help you in the fight, looks badass. Don’t worry, the object will shatter, not the bones in your hand.

When men take off a necklace, they don’t bother with the latch, they just tear it off. Probably because the latch is broken from the last time they yanked it off their neck. When they give the necklace to a lady, she is able to fasten it around her neck despite it being torn off previously.

If you need to know something, turn on the TV. The channel will automatically be turned to the news and it will be showing the exact news story with the exact information you need. If a friend called to tell you to watch the news, no need to hurry to turn on the TV, the newscaster will repeat exactly what they just said before you turned it on.

All building ventilation systems, air ducts and vents are built big enough to accommodate the size and weight of one or more adults. It’s in the building code.

Land developers routinely build houses on top of ancient Indian burial grounds (or old murder sites, places of spiritual importance, etc). However, the building of the houses don’t seem to upset the spirits, as the ghosts will not decide to violently manifest until after a new owner with a nice happy family has purchased it.