Archive for hollywood life lessons

15 more things I’ve learned about life while watching movies and TV

Posted in hollywood life lessons, humor, movies, pop culture, TV shows with tags , , , on February 8, 2011 by Paxton

1000-tvs1

In March 2010, I posted a list of 17 things I learned about life while watching movies and TV shows.  It was extremely popular.  It got picked up by WordPress.com and posted on the front page.  It’s still one of my most popular articles.  So, I thought, why not write a sequel?

And here that sequel is.  15 more things I’ve learned about life while watching movies and television.


When fighting, before punching or delivering a kick, make sure your opponent is standing in front of some breakable object. A wooden wall or glass table or shelving, for example. That way if you miss striking your opponent, you’ll shatter/break the object behind which, while it doesn’t help you in the fight, looks badass.  Don’t worry, the object will shatter, not the bones in your hand.


When men take off a necklace, they don’t bother with the latch, they just tear it off. Probably because the latch is broken from the last time they yanked it off their neck.  When they give the necklace to a lady, she is able to fasten it around her neck despite it being torn off previously.


If you need to know something, turn on the TV. The channel will automatically be turned to the news and it will be showing the exact news story with the exact information you need. If a friend called to tell you to watch the news, no need to hurry to turn on the TV, the newscaster will repeat exactly what they just said before you turned it on.


All building ventilation systems, air ducts and vents are built big enough to accommodate the size and weight of one or more adults. It’s in the building code.


Land developers routinely build houses on top of ancient Indian burial grounds (or old murder sites, places of spiritual importance, etc).  However, the building of the houses don’t seem to upset the spirits, as the ghosts will not decide to violently manifest until after a new owner with a nice happy family has purchased it.

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17 Things I’ve learned about life from watching movies and TV

Posted in hollywood life lessons, humor, movies, pop culture, TV shows with tags , , , , on March 4, 2010 by Paxton

1000-tvs1

My wife and I watch a lot of movies and TV shows. We love the s**t out of them. We try to see a movie at least every weekend and we have multiple shows we watch during the week. It’s hectic keeping up with that.

However, having watched all of these movies and TV shows, we have come to take away many deep and thoughtful life lessons. Things you can’t learn by living life, but by watching hours and hours of Hollywood entertainment.

So here are 17 things we’ve learned while watching all of these TV and movies.

Davy Jones
You will always have need of a celebrity (for a charity performance or prom) at the exact time that celebrity is in town for a concert or filming a movie/TV appearance. If you need to get in to see them, it’s very easy to sneak past or distract their security people because they are always completely ineffective. The celebrity will never get pissed that their security people suck and everyone keeps sneaking in to their hotel room.

Monica's Apt
Large, studio apartments (with or without wacky roommate[s]) are affordable even for the most meager of budgets. As are furnishings from Potterybarn or Crate and Barrel. College kids and people right out of college have immaculate decorating sense.

Jolie Wanted
If you are being held at gunpoint, start running away just as the shooter starts shooting and tip over a table/couch/chair to hide behind. The bullets won’t be able to hit you. Odds are the shooter is a terrible shot anyway, and will hit EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE ROOM except for you. If you do get hit, don’t worry, bullet wounds apparently don’t hurt very much as no one cries out or whimpers with a bullet in them. You mainly shrug it off and wait for someone to bandage you up (heavy, stuttered breathing and sweating may be the only symptom that you have been shot). You may also have a sudden urge to tell your partner to “go on without you”, even with a non-fatal bullet to the shoulder.

Dirty_Harry
When you walk into a room and see the person you are trying to capture or shoot, call out their name or yell ‘Hey!’ or ‘Stop!’ first to give them a sporting chance to run. The element of surprise is overrated…and unfair.

Mr Miyagi
If you are being bullied at school, seek out the friendly, ethnic janitor or find your apartment building’s gardener or handyman. All of these eccentric, foreign, older men were actually master martial artists back in their homeland and gave up the fame and glory of being badass tournament fighters to live the dream of being a janitor/handyman here in America.

Defeat
You can defeat a master martial artist who has been studying for his entire life if you spend a few weeks/months learning to fight from the aforementioned janitor or handyman.

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Hollywood Life Lessons Pt II

Posted in hollywood life lessons, humor, movies, pop culture, TV shows with tags , , on March 11, 2008 by Paxton

Hollywood SignWhile watching tv my wife and I came up with some life lessons that had been taught to us by tv and movies. I posted the first five earlier but we came up with another five. Learn these lessons now, that is what TV and movies are for, to teach you things you can’t learn on your own.

In case you missed the first part, you can find it here.

This is a quick entry today, I have another one scheduled for Friday that has to do with St. Patty’s Day (which is on Monday, I know).

  • Everyone buys the same thing at the grocery; leafy green lettuce and a long loaf of french bread that sticks out just so from the top. And everyone gets it in a brown paper bag.
  • Everyone has that one friend/drinking buddy that does nothing but speak in funny/snarky one-liners.  The friend has no shame and hits on anything that moves.
  • If a guy’s best friend is a girl who’s secretly in love with him, the guy will not even notice her as a prospective girlfriend and only think of her as “one of the guys”. Oh, she will always be hot.
  • If a girl’s best friend is a guy that’s secretly in love with her, the girl will not even notice him as a prospective boyfriend and only think of him as “a friend”. Oh, and he’s always kind of a dork.
  • No matter where you are going, if you have to drive there, you will find a parking spot right in front.  Even in New York, Chicago or Los Angeles.

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Hollywood Life Lessons 12/05/2007

Posted in hollywood life lessons, humor, movies, pop culture, TV shows with tags , , on December 5, 2007 by Paxton

Hollywood SignWhile watching a movie or one of our multitude of tv shows we watch each week my wife and I started discussing things we felt we’ve learned from all of this Hollywood entertainment we love so much. We came up with some good ones and I thought I’d share with everyone. I’ll post these every once in a while when the wife and I can come up with them. For now, here’s the first batch of little life nuggets that movie and tv shows teach all of us.

Enjoy!

  • People in countries other than America speak accented English amongst themselves. If they speak their native tongue, it will only be one word here or there to cover up an exclamation of shock, surprise or a profanity.
  • People over 65 act in one of two ways; cranky old coot who doesn’t approve of what those young whipper snappers are doing or wild and crazy with the libido (and mouth) of a 20 year old.
  • You can leave work, even in the middle of the day, and no one will notice.
  • It’s easy for you and your 5 or 6 friends to always get the table and/or seats right in the middle of the coffee shop/restaurant/club. Even during high traffic hours.
  • When living or staying in Paris, you will always have a window that looks out on the Eiffel Tower. Similarly, when taking the Parisian subway, every destination takes you right next to the Eiffel Tower.

So true, don’t you think?  Like I said, I’ll post these every once in a while as my wife and I come up with them.  Do you have any that you’ve noticed?

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