Archive for March, 2006

Cheetos flavored Kool-Aid…Dangerously Cheesy!

Posted in food, humor, Kool Aid, Photoshop, pop culture with tags , , , on March 29, 2006 by Paxton

Here’s another custom Kool-Aid flavor I created. Based on my favorite snack food. Click the image for a slightly larger pic.

Check out all my other creative, and completely made up, Kool-Aid creations here.

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RateBeer.com Incident

Posted in humor, internet, personal, ratebeer.com with tags , , , on March 29, 2006 by Paxton


Last year, my friend, Steve, and I joined a website called RateBeer.com. The idea is simple, rate and review beers you drink for everyone to check out. Now, I freely admit that I am no beer enthusiast. My tastes run to the light American lager that true beer connoisseurs hate, a legacy left to me by my father (he still stocks his fridge with Keystone Light and Southpaw). The site is very cool and I enjoy reading the reviews that people put out there. It’s amazing how different other people’s tastes are from my own.

Steve and I thought it would be fun to rate beers we enjoy and completely tear apart the ones we hate, which, coincidentally, would be completely opposite of everyone else on the website. Check out my beer ratings here. The list should be sorted by my rating, with my favorites at the top. There are just under 40 beers there, click on a few and see how I reviewed them. If you want to see my friend Steve’s ratings click here. Our reviews for each beer will be the first one listed underneath the “Commercial Description” after you click on the beer title in the list.

While putting in my ratings, I was messaged through the site by some guy with the handle TAR mocking my ratings. His subject was ‘hahaha’ and the message said:

Saying Budweiser is beer is like calling Sutter Home or Thunderbird, wine.

I thought this was funny. Knowing I was going to hear from beer snobs like this was why I started rating beers on this site. I thought it would be fun to rip TAR a funny answer:

Just because it’s a macro-brew doesn’t automatically make it bad. I prefer beer that doesn’t taste like warm asphalt poured through an old shoe. I also prefer to be able to pronounce my beer in my native tongue. I’d put Pabst Blue Ribbon against your top beer anyday. If it was good enough for my grandfather and my father, it’s good enough for me.

In this reply, I was mocking the guy and his beer choices (which he started), but in a good-natured way. I didn’t expect his over-the-top and hostile reply:

First of all, when did I say all macros are bad? You need to learn how to read. Secondly, the example you cite (pouring beer through asphalt, for example) sounds as if you’ve let that beer alone to affect your overall view of decent-to-good beer, if it was indeed a decent beer that tasted like asphalt. Also, what exactly is your native tongue? Chances are, your ancestors were immigrants. Please don’t tell me you’re one of those people who claim that this land solely belongs to them. If so, you’re all wrong. You wouldn’t be here if that was the case. But of course you could never understand the points I’m making since you’re a stubborn, non-critical thinker like most dumb males. You probably also watch porn and football and voted for Bush (I’m a Republican, by the way, but if you cannot see that Bush is an idiot, something’s worng with you). Don’t be a bigot. And as for PBR — Please give me some specifics on how it compares to Rochefort 10. I’ve had all those beeers you claim are good, but have you tasted any of my faves? I thought not. Open your mind, dude.

To his credit, he did not say all macro-brews are bad. That was an assumption I made and it was my mistake. He did imply it, though. And even if my ancestors are immigrants, as he proclaims, wouldn’t I STILL have a native tongue? And I don’t remember claiming that this land, or any land for that matter, “belongs” to me. Wow, TAR is pissed and making wild and unfounded accusations about my person. He goes so far as to call me a bigot, too. Well, TAR, last I checked, you were the one to message me mocking my choice of Budweiser as a good beer. Then when I explained my opinion, you lash out at not only me, but all American males who prefer American macro-brewed beers in general. Now you’re doing exactly what you claimed I had been doing, being a bigot. My job here is done.

FYI…I sent a “bridge the gap” email that I usually send to people to shut them up, but I stopped talking to the ass. I haven’t really even been to the site again. I prefer wine to beer. It’s not that I don’t like beer, it’s that it bothers my ulcer whereas wine does not. Besides, wine is the thinking man’s beer (take that, TAR!).

Movie Review: Inside Man; Heist TV Show & Ocean’s 13

Posted in movies, reviews, TV, TV shows with tags , , , on March 28, 2006 by Paxton

For the wife’s birthday, went to see Inside Man with Clive Owen, Denzel Washington and Jodi Foster. As you can tell from my earlier post about heist movies, I LOVE this sub-genre. Heist movies, for the most part are so much fun. I love seeing new entries. I was underwhelmed recently by the movie Firewall with Harrison Ford. A limp, home/invasion, bank heist movie that really went nowhere for me. Paul Bettany as the robber was the only thing to save the movie. Harrison Ford continues on his rapid decent into mediocrity. But I digress. Inside Man is everything I ever wanted. Cool, smart mastermind, clever plan and interesting backstory. There is a lot going on, but it’s unbelievable how Clive Owen’s character is one step ahead of the police. The backstory and the ending are very cool and interesting also.

The performances also add to the wonderful script. Clive Owen is perfect as Dalton, the mastermind behind the bank robbery. He continues to impress me with his roles. Jodie Foster is great as usual with the hauty, smugness of her character Madeline, someone used to getting things done…discreetly. Denzel disappoints a little bit, but I fully confess to not really being a fan of him anyway. His character complements Owens’ Dalton nicely.

I was very suprised this is a Spke Lee movie. There’s lots of smart humor and really good action in this script. The ads and trailers I’ve seen do not play up the fact that he directed it, nor does it seem like his usual fair (of which I am also not really a fan). If this is how Spike can perform when not preaching about the ghetto, then consider me interested from now on. This movie had me entertained and out-guessed from the beginning and I applaud Spike and the other actors for finally putting a good movie out in a so far slow movie season.

Speaking of the heist sub-genre of movies, Steph and I watched the TV show Heist on NBC Sunday night (I had TiVo’d it. It actually aired last Wednesday).


It wasn’t bad. It had elements of Ocean’s 11 mixed with Out of Sight. Some of the dialogue I thought was trying too hard. The two main characters, Mickey and James, are having a discussion and they talk about topics no one on Earth would have regular conversations about like Mother Teresa and famous historical dates. For me, it was trying a tad too hard to be smart. You can have witty banter without having the characters off-handedly discuss the content of Mother Teresa’s letters and the date of the last Mongol invasion. Unnecessary.

Other than that, the show was very slick and executed itself very well. The heist in this episode was just the initial job to raise some money for the big heist to be executed later. After this first heist, I am definately interested in how they pull off the next heist.

Reading reviews of this show, I saw some online criticism that the heist depicted in the episode would have had to have too many things go right to realistically pull off. I say, if you watch and enjoy heist movies, you have to realize going in that timing and execution is everything. Of course everything has to happen with an insane, supernatural sense of execution and timing, otherwise it would be boring. But that’s just me.

I was not a fan of the lead, Dougray Scott, going into this (he was originally cast to play Wolverine in X-men but had to decline when filming on Mission Impossible II ran long), but he performs admirably here. As does the rest of his team. Check out pics from this series here.
The female member of the heist team, Lola, is HOOOOOOOOOT. I’ll definately tune in (with my TiVo at least) next Wednesday to see where this goes.

I’m in a heist state of mind, so, here is some news about Ocean’s 13. Filming starts by the end of the year and all the boys are back. The girls, however, will not be returning. I say yeah! for no Julia Roberts, but NO! for Catherine Zeta-Jones. Oh well. This is one of my favorite franchises so I’ll be there regardless.

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Happy Birthday, Steph!

Posted in holiday, humor, ninjas, personal with tags , on March 27, 2006 by Paxton

First and foremost, it’s my wife’s birthday. She’s an extremely young 29. She said she better enjoy this birthday because every birthday after this one will also be her 29th birthday. Gotta love her. So far today she’s received the Grey’s Anatomy CD and the 4Gb pink iPod mini.

She met me for lunch and we went to Moon River Pizza. Here’s the newpaper ad for this place:

Greatest. Ad. Ever.

We’ll probably go out for drinks/appetizers for dinner then go see the movie Inside Man. It’s a heist movie, so you know I’m gonna talk about it here.

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Vanilla Ice Kool Aid

Posted in humor, Kool Aid, Photoshop, pop culture, Vanilla Ice with tags , , on March 24, 2006 by Paxton

Kool-Aid rocks. I love drinking it. A while back I started thinking about funny flavors they should make. I created 5 or 6. Every once in a while I’ll put a new one up. Today’s completely made-up flavor is: Vanilla Ice.

I love the Kool-Aid man with the Spanish Drug-Lord mustache. So cool. Click the pic for a slightly bigger version.

Check out all my other creative, and completely made up, Kool-Aid creations here.

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Movie Reviews: Mission: Impossible franchise

Posted in movies, pop culture, reviews with tags , , on March 23, 2006 by Paxton

Our mission, and we chose to accept it, was to watch the Mission Impossible movie.

The wife and I had watched our Blockbuster movies the night before and nothing was on TV, so Steph was tasked with picking a movie. She perused the Holley DVD Vaults, felt like an action movie, and came up with Mission: Impossible starring Tom Cruise. Now, as of late, Tom Cruise has been acting like a first rate asshat. He used to be the cool, aloof Mr. Cruise. Now he’s the outspoken, cradle-robbing asshat. And I emphasize the words ASSHAT. I’ve been able to separate the off screen Cruise psychopath and still enjoy him onscreen, that is, until he made War of the Worlds. But I loved Mission Impossible and was eager to see it again to rekindle my fondness for a good Cruise action movie.

Mission Impossible is how a good action movie should be done. It’s fast, action packed and has very cool gadgets and characters. This was a big, action movie, but the director kept the atmosphere close and tight. You could tell this movie’s tone and atmosphere was used later for Bourne Identity and Bourne Supremecy. When I first saw it I remember being completely shocked when Cruise’s entire IMF team is killed in the beginning. Emilio Estevez as the hacker, Jack, was a surprise to me when he was introduced in the beginning. Needless to say, I was sad to see him go so soon. Cruise played Ethan Hunt perfectly and the effects were awesome. Jon Voight played a convincing character, but the chick who played his wife was AWFUL. I don’t know who she is, but I’m glad I don’t see her in any other movies. AWFUL. This movie was definately a must see. Needless to say, I was excited to see the sequel but dismayed when it took 4 years to come out.

After watching Mission Impossible (MI), Steph and I felt like watching the second one. We both saw it theatrically, apparently together (I had forgotten) and memories of it had faded. I remember not really liking it, but I was willing to give it another chance. So off to Blockbuster we went the next night and rented it. I’d have to say, on this second viewing, I was much more entertained, but the movie was WAY overproduced. Seriously. I don’t know what John Woo was thinking, but it bordered on the ridiculous. I applaud the addition of Sir Anthony Hopkins as Ethan Hunt’s boss, but I jeer the leading lady, Thandie Newton, and the main villain, Dougray Scott. Thandie Newton couldn’t hold her own against the toddlers in Daddy Day Care much less Tom Cruise or Anthony Hopkins. I was glad they brought back Ving Rhames for a small appearance. The action set pieces were cool, if bordering on complete foolishness. I enjoyed the pretty lights and colors, but would not really want to see it again. The script may have been complete ass, but John Woo can really photograph some violence. I mean, it’s like he’s in love with graphic violence. The slow motion, the close ups, the doves. It’s almost violence pornography. You don’t believe me? See this movie or the movie Face/Off. Unbelievable. More faceless characters are killed in John Woo movies than in WWII and Vietnam combined.

I really love the concept of these movies, and the character of Ethan Hunt, particularly.

The next day we went to see Failure to Launch and the Mission Impossible 3 trailer came up. This was the second time I’ve seen it and I was much more excited to see it now that we had watched the first two. JJ Abrams, the writer/creator of Alias and Lost, is writing/directing this installment. He is bringing back Ving Rhames (hopefully in a bigger part) and they have Phillip Seymore Hoffman as the main villain. If you ask me, this is shaping up to be a really good action movie. I will definately choose to accept this Mission……. 🙂

Update 1/31/2007 – Click here to see the full review of Mission: Impossible 3

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Kool Aid Singles: OH YEAH!!!

Posted in Kool Aid with tags on March 23, 2006 by Paxton

Kool-Aid Singles!!! Kool-Aid mix in small pre-sweetened packages that can be mixed in your bottle of water. I can die now.

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