Archive for December, 2007
I was perusing the interweb and noticed some really crazy stuff people can buy as gifts. These crazy gifts also made me think of some other really weird Christmas movies and items. I thought I’d give you guys a humorous listing of some really surreal items having to do with Christmas (if even on a vague level). Enjoy!
Santa Claus (1960) – This is, hands-down, one of the wackiest, most insane movies ever put to film. Don’t let the cute, twinkle eyed Santa on the poster fool you. In this movie Santa lives in a castle that sits on the clouds (!) with Merlin. Yes, THAT Merlin. He uses a giant telescope to spy on the children of Earth. He also has hundreds of kids stashed away in this castle building him toys. It’s like a Nike sweatshop in the clouds. The kids are all from different countries, and their workstations are labeled as such with signs saying “America”, “Jamaica”, “China”, etc (so, actually, it’s more like United Colors of Benetton in a Nike sweatshop). It’s surreal. And the main conflict of this movie? Santa vs the Devil. Yes, THAT Devil. All for the soul of a poor little girl named Lupita. I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of this maniacal map of insanity. You can actually buy this DVD here, or pray to whatever cosmic deity you believe in that the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode that reviews this flick is either re-run on TV or released on DVD. That’s the way to watch it, with Mike and the ‘bots slamming every jam-packed minute of craziness. To whet your appetite, here’s the trailer
Yes, my friends, Ninja Day has dawned once again. Today is officially, Day of the Ninja. It’s hard to believe it’s been a whole year since I revealed to you all that I was one of the dark clan and we last celebrated this most sacred of holidays.
If you don’t know, today is the day we celebrate those that belong to that most deadly of fraternities; The Ninja. It is also a day to shun those that belong to the group that opposes all that ninjas stand for, the ninja arch-nemesis, The Pirate. In case you fail to see the difference in the clean, deadly ninja and the dirty, mouth-breathing Pirate, here’s a chart for your convenience. Click the chart to go to the Official Headquarters of Ninja Day.
How can you celebrate ninja day? Quietly, but deadly, stalk one of your co-workers. Figure out 50 different ways to kill the person you are currently talking to. Find a pirate and torture him slowly, then using only your wits and an old shoe, kill him (or, if you are more advanced, a good luck troll). If you get hungry during Ninja Day, place a to-go order with Ninja Burger. Don’t worry about giving them your address, they know where you live. If your food isn’t there in 30 minutes, they commit Seppuku.
As you see, there are many things you can do to celebrate Ninja Day. If you got questions then The Ninja has answers, check out the Ask A Ninja podcasts. Immerse yourself in the lore and mystery of the ninja today. They deserve your utmost respect.
After all, there’s only two seconds separating you and the business end of a katana.
Did you enjoy this? You can check out my other Ninja Day Posts here
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While watching a movie or one of our multitude of tv shows we watch each week my wife and I started discussing things we felt we’ve learned from all of this Hollywood entertainment we love so much. We came up with some good ones and I thought I’d share with everyone. I’ll post these every once in a while when the wife and I can come up with them. For now, here’s the first batch of little life nuggets that movie and tv shows teach all of us.
- People in countries other than America speak accented English amongst themselves. If they speak their native tongue, it will only be one word here or there to cover up an exclamation of shock, surprise or a profanity.
- People over 65 act in one of two ways; cranky old coot who doesn’t approve of what those young whipper snappers are doing or wild and crazy with the libido (and mouth) of a 20 year old.
- You can leave work, even in the middle of the day, and no one will notice.
- It’s easy for you and your 5 or 6 friends to always get the table and/or seats right in the middle of the coffee shop/restaurant/club. Even during high traffic hours.
- When living or staying in Paris, you will always have a window that looks out on the Eiffel Tower. Similarly, when taking the Parisian subway, every destination takes you right next to the Eiffel Tower.
So true, don’t you think? Like I said, I’ll post these every once in a while as my wife and I come up with them. Do you have any that you’ve noticed?