Archive for the Ninja Day Category

Ninja Day 2013: Scene by Scene: That Transformers episode with the female robot ninja

Posted in cartoons, holiday, Ninja Day, ninjas, Transformers, TV shows with tags , , , , on December 5, 2013 by Paxton

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Today is Ninja Day, my friends. I celebrate it every year. It’s one of my passions. So, in the spirit of the scene by scene movie reviews I did for Revenge of the Ninja and Ninja III: The Domination, today I’m going to do a scene by scene review of the Transformers episode “Enter the Nightbird”. You know, the one with the female robot ninja.

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This is Season 2, episode 6.  Here are the opening titles and title card.

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In the beginning of the episode, we see the Autobots installing new sensor pads on their floors. Wheeljack tests them by saying, “Look how they react to metal”, he touches the surface and then the sensor pad lights up. So the Autobots are putting metal detecting sensor pads in their headquarters?  METAL DETECTING SENSOR PADS IN A HEADQUARTERS FILLED WITH ROBOTS.  That makes sense.

Nightbird 004
This is Dr Fujiyama, “the famous scientist” (all the explanation we are given).  He calls the Autobots because he needs their help guarding his newest invention, an advanced form of robot.  Optimus Prime is talking to Fujiyama on a standard two way video communicator you see in TV shows and cartoons all the time. However, they way it’s drawn, it looks like that’s a window and Fujiyama is in the next room.

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What is Fujiyama’s secret robot? Fujiyama introduces it as “The world’s first female ninja robot”.  He actually says that.  Not sure why the sex needs to be addressed since it is, you know, a f**king robot.  And maybe in this universe a MALE ninja robot has already been created.

Nightbird 008
This is the moment in the cartoon in which Optimus Prime awesomely says, “What is a ninja?”  Prime, you’re adorable.  Jazz actually explains it to him.  Not one of the human characters.

Nightbird 009
During the Q&A, this guy stands up and asks, “Why build a robot ninja, doctor?” He is then promptly escorted from the premises and beaten amongst the head and shoulders with heavy clubs.

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Here’s the full pan up of the ninja robot. Thought this was a cool shot. The robot is christened Nightbird. The Autobots are here to protect Nightbird from being stolen by the Decepticons. How the Decepticons know about this robot or why they would even care when their own robotics are light years ahead of anything even in this robot is never really explained. But it is a ninja, so, I can’t blame them for wanting it.

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Ninja Day 2009: Movie review of Ninja Assassin

Posted in holiday, movies, Ninja Day, ninjas, pop culture, reviews with tags , , , , on December 5, 2009 by Paxton

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YES! Today, is Ninja Day, my friends!  Finally, I wait all year to don the black pajamas and stalk around my neighborhood without getting arrested.  The time is nigh!!

Yesterday, I talked about what makes a bad ass ninja, BAD ASS.  Today, I’m going to talk about ninjas and the movies.  There has been a long history of US ninja movies, but those have MOSTLY died out here in the US since the late ’80s. I loved all of those movies, roughly 90% of which starred the awesome, Sho Kosugi. However, despite some fairly recent movies having ninjas in them (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Elektra) there haven’t really been any ninja-centric movies in the last few years. This past Thanksgiving changed that trend with the release of the movie, Ninja Assassin. In honor of Ninja Day, I saw this movie and would like to review it.

Ninja Assassin

So, the movie opens up with a pretty intense scene. You see these young Asian “gangster” types hanging out in their hideout playing pool and drinking. The leader is getting a tattoo and complaining about the needle hurting and being kind of a bitch about it. The crusty old dude giving the tattoo essentially says, maybe you aren’t man enough to get this tattoo. The young Asian leader of course pulls this ridiculously large pistol (fully plated in gold, mind you) and threatens to paint the ceiling with the crusty old guy’s brains. At this point, even people from space can see where this is headed. And after the delivery of a wax sealed envelope filled with black sand, every single one of the young toughs are systematically slaughtered in the most intensely violent ways. The first guy literally has half his head torn off by a blade flying so fast you only see the blur. And that’s how everyone else dies. You see mostly the dark blurs (ninja) and silvery blurs (ninja stars) as they reduce everyone in the room to a bloody pile of limbs. It’s fast, violent and every bit as balls out awesome as you think it’s going to be.

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Ninja Day 2009: Things that make a Bad Ass NINJA…well, BAD ASS

Posted in humor, Ninja Day, ninjas with tags , , on December 4, 2009 by Paxton

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Tomorrow, Dec 5, is Ninja Day, my friends. Time to break out the katana, sharpen it up and prepare for all the face and gut stabbing that’ll be required on this most glorious of days!!  It’s gonna be a gut/face stabbing extravaganza.  Are you prepared?

Since it’s Ninja Day Eve, I thought I’d go ahead and post this year’s ninja celebratory article today.  I get a lot of hits on my previous Ninja Day articles for mainly two reasons.  One, the articles are about BAD ASS ninjas (duh) and two, THEY ARE ABOUT BAD ASS NINJAS.  Seriously, check them out. This blog has been celebrating Ninja Day since 2006. And that is not going to stop on my watch.

I get plenty of comments about the copious amounts of ninja love on this blog.  I’m always asked “how can I, too, become a bad ass ninja like yourself?”.  Good question, but let’s make one thing clear; you can become a ninja, but that won’t make you bad ass like myself.  However, since this is a valid question I thought I’d impart to all my “ninja civilian” readers what makes a bad ass ninja.  What do ninjas do on a daily basis that make them so much more bad-ass awesome than a normal person?   You constantly have to work at being BAD ASS and a ninja.  Like P-Diddy said, “Mo BAD ASS, Mo Problems” (I’m paraphrasing).

So here are a few things that make a bad ass ninja (like myself), well, BAD ASS.

Bedside Battle Monkey
The first thing you should know, I can’t wake up to a regular alarm clock.  Regular alarm clocks are for normal people who aren’t bad ass ninjas. Awesome ninjas like myself need something more dangerous to get us out of bed and out the door.  Personally, I wake up to the attacks of a monkey in robotic battle armor that is trained to kill me (pic above).  Seriously, that monkey is literally trained to tear out my stomach and dance around with my entrails like he’s at some psychotic rave party.  To start my day, I must fight this Battle Monkey Alarm (BMA) in order to get out of the house. And believe you me, this monkey is trained well.  Our battles are like 3 hours long.  Not only does this get my blood pumping in the morning (and not just figuratively), it keeps my killing instincts sharp.  When the insides of my bedroom are covered in Battle Monkey’s gore and feces (even battle monkeys like throwing poo) I can then continue my morning with my next ritual, a hot cup ‘o joe.

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It’s Ninja Day 2008!!!

Posted in holiday, humor, life, Ninja Day, ninjas with tags , on December 5, 2008 by Paxton

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That’s right, it’s that time of the year once again.  December 5th.  The Day of the Ninja. Today is a day to celebrate the lethal, the invisible, the AWESOME…Ninja.

Regular readers know that this blog celebrates Ninja Day every year.  See last year hereAnd 2006 here.

Many people ask me what it’s like to be a ninja.  Really, being a ninja is just like being a normal person, except faster and more awesome.  People also want to know if just by being a bad ass ninja do I get out of many fights or, every once in a while, do I get to deliver a glorious and spectacular ninja death unto some poor soul’s sorry ass.  The answer is, I get to deliver ninja justice onto people everyday.  Sometimes multiple times in a day.  Let’s take a look at a few of the attacks I see on a daily basis.

Pax Enter the Dragon

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Day of the Ninja dawns again

Posted in holiday, humor, Ninja Day, ninjas, pirates with tags , , , , on December 5, 2007 by Paxton

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Yes, my friends, Ninja Day has dawned once again. Today is officially, Day of the Ninja. It’s hard to believe it’s been a whole year since I revealed to you all that I was one of the dark clan and we last celebrated this most sacred of holidays.

If you don’t know, today is the day we celebrate those that belong to that most deadly of fraternities; The Ninja. It is also a day to shun those that belong to the group that opposes all that ninjas stand for, the ninja arch-nemesis, The Pirate. In case you fail to see the difference in the clean, deadly ninja and the dirty, mouth-breathing Pirate, here’s a chart for your convenience. Click the chart to go to the Official Headquarters of Ninja Day.

Ninja Day Chart

How can you celebrate ninja day? Quietly, but deadly, stalk one of your co-workers. Figure out 50 different ways to kill the person you are currently talking to. Find a pirate and torture him slowly, then using only your wits and an old shoe, kill him (or, if you are more advanced, a good luck troll). If you get hungry during Ninja Day, place a to-go order with Ninja Burger. Don’t worry about giving them your address, they know where you live. If your food isn’t there in 30 minutes, they commit Seppuku.

As you see, there are many things you can do to celebrate Ninja Day. If you got questions then The Ninja has answers, check out the Ask A Ninja podcasts. Immerse yourself in the lore and mystery of the ninja today. They deserve your utmost respect.

After all, there’s only two seconds separating you and the business end of a katana.

Did you enjoy this? You can check out my other Ninja Day Posts here

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Ninja Day!

Posted in Ask a Ninja, holiday, humor, Ninja Day, ninjas with tags , on December 5, 2006 by Paxton

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Today, December 5, is officially the Day of the Ninja.


Above is an orientation video for nonjas (or non-ninjas) about the origins of Ninja Day.

In light of the fact that it’s the Day of the Ninja I want to reveal a secret I’ve long held from the people I love. I too am a part of the Dark Brotherhood (no, not the NAACP). I am ninja. I have never revealed this to anyone before.

After an assignment where I’ve killed 30 people with deadly efficiency who have no idea I’m even in the room, I want to be able to tell the people I care about. It’s hard to kill like that. It takes serious concentration, nerves of steel and a little bit of duct tape.

Now that you know that I am ninja, many of you will be scared to talk to me. That’s okay. I understand. Don’t be intimidated by the fact that while talking to you, I’ve instantly come up with at least 75 ways to kill you where you stand using only my steely wits and a shrimp puff I got from the appetizer plate. It’s just what I do. And don’t be unnerved if I just disappear in the middle of a conversation, leaving no trace I was ever there. I’ve just taken a quick break to go kill someone. I’ll be right back to finish whatever discussion we were having, unless, of course, it is you I plan on killing. When I do return, and you are not the one that is dead, ask no questions and pretend I never left. Also, when engaging me in conversation, it would be beneficial to not use any quick or threatening gestures. Sometimes my instincts will kick in and next thing you know I’m standing in a room full of bloody corpses not remembering the awesome, awesome ninja killing that just occurred. You want to talk about a buzz-kill?

It’s just the risks of doing business with a ninja.

So when you see me, just act natural and you won’t have to die.

So how can nonjas celebrate Ninja Day? It’s easy, just act all sneaky and ninja-like. Creep up on a coworker, slit his throat with a paper clip. Maybe you could drop down silently from the ceiling and decapitate your manager. There’s many things nonjas can do to celebrate the random and efficient killing of a ninja. Be creative.

Remember, we are watching.

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