Tuesday is the day studios traditionally release their DVD offerings to stores. So I thought this would be the appropriate time to discuss a problem I have. Why do many studios refuse to use the movie poster on the cover of the DVD? It makes no sense. Many times, they commission another “poster” that includes all the major actors as “floating heads” with the title and some random scene from the movie. It’s ridiculous. Sometimes they even cobble together head shots of the actors, photoshop them on body doubles, and create some insane, nonsensical situation that many times has nothing to do with the movie. Here’s a funny video mocking the phenomenon of the “floating head” movie poster.
To illustrate what I’m talking about, here are a few of the DVDs that are the worst offenders in the “WTF did they not use the movie poster” awards.
Footloose — Hey, Kevin Bacon. Stop staring at me, Kevin Bacon. Stop it. I’m serious. I don’t care how blue your eyes are. If you keep staring at me like that, you’re gonna see me kill you. I would much rather have the famous poster for this movie on the DVD than have to kill you for eye-ballin’ me, Kevin Bacon. Also, your cover looks like a Lifetime movie. Footloose: The Town that Never Danced: The Kevin Bacon Story.
Real Genius — This is one FUGLY cover to a great movie. WTF happened here?! Are the electrical shocks being administered to the side of Val’s head what’s keeping his hair up like that? Who approved this? There is no way Val Kilmer signed off on this. The original movie poster was BAD ASS. Why not use that? Cause that would make sense, and Hollywood doesn’t play by the rules of the natural world, that’s why.
Weird Science — I love this movie. But by not using the awesome theatrical poster for the cover of this DVD, Universal Studios may as well have dug up the body of recently deceased John Hughes, kicked the corpse in the groin, pissed on it, walked around the cemetery “Weekend at Bernies-style”, then re-buried the corpse head down/ass out back in the dirt. I get the idea of using images of Gary and Wyatt with bras on their head, but WTF is up with the picture of Kelly LeBrock? Is that even a scene from the movie? Is she ballroom dancing? Conducting a seance? WHAT?! And what’s with all the clouds? I don’t remember any part of this movie taking place in the sky.