Archive for life

The Disney Goofy Challenge is here.

Posted in life, personal, running with tags , , , on January 9, 2015 by Paxton

Walt-Disney-World-Marathon-Weekend2015

Well, TGIF everyone.  By the time you are reading this, I should be off traveling to Orlando to participate in Disney’s Marathon Weekend 2015. The Disney Marathon is a huge deal where tens of thousands of people come from all over the world to Walt Disney World (and Disney Land) to compete. There are several different races run, one each for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The race I’m doing is called The Goofy Race & and a Half Challenge.

goofy challenge

It involves a half marathon on Saturday morning and then the full marathon on Sunday morning.  I was actually going to do the Dopey Challenge which involves all three races that weekend; a 10k on Friday, the half on Saturday and the full on Sunday, but it was sold out back in June when I signed up so I had to go for the Goofy.

The courses are pretty cool, you run through the parks early in the morning, starting and finishing at Epcot.  There are character stops along the way where you can get pictures with Disney characters.  Plus, like I said, you’re running through the parks so it should be a pretty awesome course.

I officially started training back in September.  I’ve done a few back-to-back 10mi/20mi runs on consecutive days, so I hope I’m ready.  I don’t plan on busting any personal bests I just want to finish and have fun.  I’m very much looking forward to this.  Next week, I’ll let everyone know how it goes.

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Holy crap, I just ran a marathon!

Posted in exercise, life, movies, running with tags , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Paxton

So, I ran my first marathon on Sunday. It was the culmination of many, many months of preparation and training. I officially signed up for and started training for this race back in May, so I’m glad that it’s all over now and I can say that I have now run a full marathon (26.2 miles). And I am even happy with my time; 5 hours and 10 minutes.  The marathon was not as soul crushing and hard as I expected, but that’s not to say it was easy.  I think the key for me was running the actual race with a buddy.  My friend Mike and I ran the race together and provided each other with much needed distracting conversations and encouragement especially in the later miles (20+).

The marathon I ran was part of a larger group of races called The Tri-2B Tuff Challenge.

The Tri-2B Tuff Challenge consists of three distance races in three months.  You can either do three half marathons or two half marathons and a full marathon.  I did the latter.

The first race was the Jacksonville Marine Corps Half Marathon on Oct 2. Mike and I mistakenly believed that race started at 8am so we showed up ready to run at 7:30am. However, when we showed up people were dismantling the starting line. After asking around we discovered that the race actually started at 7am. Undaunted, we backed our butts up to the dismantled starting line, started our watches and ran the race anyway. It took a while, but we wound up catching up with some of the stragglers and finishing the race anyway.

The second race was the Outback Steakhouse Distance Classic Half Marathon on Thanksgiving Day. We double checked the starting time for that race and showed up early so we started with the official clock. This race was awesome. I enjoyed the course and it was actually fun to run it.

The last race was the Jacksonville Bank Marathon (or you could run the half marathon) on Dec 19 (this past Sunday).  Finish those three races and you win the Tri-2B Tough Challenge.  I’m glad I did it.  Since I was training for the marathon anyway the two half marathons in Oct and Nov kept me from slacking off too much on training.

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There will be an heir to my AWESOMENESS!!

Posted in life, personal with tags , , on April 23, 2010 by Paxton

I’ve not mentioned this on the blog yet because I didn’t want to jinx anything but my wife is pregnant.  She is right at 19 weeks along and we went to the doctor yesterday and found out what we are having.

sonogram

We are having an AWESOME baby boy! Yay! Since it’s a boy, we already have the name picked out (we were undecided on a girl’s name). The little boy will not only be born with my awesome looks and sense of humor, but my awesome name as well. Paxton Ted Holley, Jr. We’ll call him PJ for short.  So never fear, the total collective bad ass awesomeness I currently carry on my shoulders will be passed on to my first male heir, PJ.  Hope the little guy can handle it.

So we are now having a boy.  You want to see the first thing I bought after finding out?

AWESOME shirt

Are you surprised?  I couldn’t NOT get it.  You know?

So that’s my kick ass news.  I am uber excited right now.  I can’t wait for this kid to get here.

Line Rage: Waiting in line at Subway

Posted in fast food, humor, life, Subway with tags , , , on September 3, 2009 by Paxton

Subway store

So, I didn’t bring my lunch and I decide to go to Subway. If any of you have ever stood in line at a fast food place, you will understand the term LINE RAGE. Witness the phenomenon in action.

______________________

I open the door, enter the Subway restaurant and quickly assess the line “situation”.  Ahh, good, only 3 people in front of me this should go very quickly.

–10 minutes later

WTF is taking so long, lady?  LETS. GO.  Are you having a conversation with the “sandwich artist”?  Are they your long lost relative?  I DON’T F’N CARE! ORDER. YOUR. SANDWICH.

–5 more minutes later

Finally, I think this chick is wrapping up her order.  It’s a good thing because I almost had to go “Michael Douglas in Falling Down” up in this place.  How the hell does a veggie delight take so damn long to order?  Anyway, this guy is up next.  Hopefully he’s efficient and ready…..wait, oh crap.  Dude has a bluetooth headset in his ear.  He’s also wearing a button down shirt and khakis.  NO! NO! NO!  I may have an “office orderer” on my hands.  Dude, DO NOT reach in your pocket and grab a list!  He’s reaching in his pocket.  Man, you better be pulling out your wallet or a picture of your grandmother because if you pull out a list of sandwiches I’m gonna be all over you like a fat kid on cake………………….He did it.  He pulled out his list.  I’m sorry my friend, but today is a good day to die.

Die

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Tour de Pain Aftermath: Laying low

Posted in exercise, life, movies, running, TV shows with tags , , , , , on August 14, 2009 by Paxton

I’ve been somewhat wrecked this week. This past weekend I ran the Jacksonville Tour de Pain.

Tour de Pain logo

Like the image says, the race is a grueling 3 races in 24 hours. The first race was on Friday evening at 7:30pm. It was out at Jacksonville Beach. The distance was 4 miles and you ran it on the actual beach. I don’t know if any of you guys have ever run on sand before, but it’s hard. REALLY hard. 4 miles on the beach is probably like 6 miles on asphalt. At least, that’s how it felt. Actually, I felt worse after running the beach 4 miles than I did after running the Gate River Run’s 9 miles. But part of the reason is the humidity and heat. It was overcast when I ran the Gate River Run. Anyway, I was looking to beat 40 minutes which would be 10 minute miles, but I seriously died the last mile and wound up crossing the finish line at 40:26. Just over 10 min miles. I was really not happy with that performance, but I had to live with it. I mainly was pissed about how I fell apart during the last mile. It was terrible. The time looks better than it felt, I’ll tell you that. Here’s a pic of me crossing the finish line for the 4 mile race. I felt like I was actually going to drop dead at that point.

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Being a comedy contributor at Cracked.com like being repeatedly punched in the crotch until you die

Posted in blogging, humor, life with tags , , , , , on July 20, 2009 by Paxton

cracked_page1

Hey, everyone, I don’t know if everybody knows this, but I was accepted as a comedy writer/contributor at Cracked.com. That means I get to make comedy pitches to the Cracked editors and if they accept my pitch, I get to write the article. It was a huge deal for me to be accepted as a writer there and I’ve been stoked to submit pitches to them in the hopes that I can start writing comedy somewhat “professionally”.  It’s interesting to see how that website and it’s editors work behind the scenes. They have strict rules about what they accept and I’ve had several comedy pitches turned down by the editors. The editors liked my pitches, but the article format at Cracked is a vicious beast, and I was told the content didn’t fit what they are trying to do. Not to be deterred, I’m taking these failed pitches, writing them anyway and posting them here.

I’ve posted two failed Cracked pitches already without telling you. The articles 15 Steps for Surviving the Zombie Apocolypse and Little Women Fight Club: Making Literature more Awesome were both pitches that were turned down by Cracked.com. If you haven’t, go read those articles and let me know that they are awesome and that Cracked can “suck it”.  Because I thought the ideas were good anyway, I wrote them and posted them up for you guys to see.  This week’s article is another failed comedy pitch (either I’m not very good at comedy writing or Cracked.com is just not a good fit for me). It’s a re-imagining of an earlier article I wrote about Pop Culture’s Coolest Time Machines. Think of this third failed Cracked article as the previous article’s evil twin brother.

So, I think the frequency of my pitches to Cracked are going to stop for the time being.  All the rejects these past few months were kind of getting me down and I was not even wanting to write on this blog.  But, I’ve built a bridge, gotten over it, and now I’m back kicking your ass with AWESOME!!  Never fear, I’m still here, bringing you the awesome funny that will melt your face into a puddle of sticky goo.

Be prepared, readers.  Be prepared.

Oh, and I still go over to Cracked and read their articles because they do have a phenomenally talented stable of writers and their stuff is constantly funny, hence me wanting to join their ranks.  I hold no ill will, and I’m still going to try to get stuff published over there, but not as hard as I’ve been trying since January.  My focus is writing for this blog and keeping it as cool and awesome as a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the grill.

Chuck roundhouse

Weekly Geeks 2009-20: Guilty Pleasures

Posted in life, personal, Weekly Geeks with tags , , on June 1, 2009 by Paxton

Weekly Geeks

Weekly Geeks time!!!

What’s your non-reading guilty pleasure?
Trashy TV?
Trashier movies?
Junk food?

Guilty pleasures mean that you are embarrassed what other people think about that particular action. For the most part, I enjoy what I enjoy and am not embarrassed about it. Everyone that knows me knows I like this thing or that, I don’t try to hide it. However, here are a few of my non-reading habits that might be odd to a normal person, but are just another part of the magnificent AWESOME-ness that is me.

Giant Eagle
1. Checking out supermarkets I’ve never been to.
Whenever I travel by myself or with my wife (or family) if we pass a cool looking supermarket I’ve never been to, I have to go in. It’s just something I enjoy. When my wife and I went to Paris in 2007 I actually had us go to Mona Vie, a Parisian supermarket/department store.  I found a bunch of cool sodas and chips.  When I go to one of these new groceries, I check out the soda aisle first to see if that particular place has any new sodas I’ve never seen before. I then go check out the snack food aisle for any cool goodies I’ve never seen before; chips, snack cakes, etc. I then check out the cereal aisle for any cool boxes I’ve never scoped before. If I find anything cool, I’ll either buy it on the spot or take pictures of it while in the store.  The links within this paragraph go to several of my Flickr sets highlighting the appropriate items I’ve found during some of my travels. If you click the picture of the Giant Eagle up there you’ll go to my Flickr set of Supermarket chains I’ve visited.  Check them out.

That would probably be the biggest “guilty pleasure” of mine.  What else do I like to do….hmmmm…

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