Archive for Japan

Double Meat Beast Whopper: 6 Completely insane fast food menu items

Posted in Burger King, fast food, Japan, McDonald's, Pizza Hut with tags , , , , , on August 4, 2009 by Paxton

Dude, fast food ROCKS. I could eat it everyday, if it wouldn’t slowly kill me. Is it odd to love something that would kill me? I don’t care, I love it.

What I love most about fast food is the unbelievably over-the-top ways in which a restaurant will try to lure in customers. Menu items that inspire a nauseated sense of awe lure people in like zombies to a brain buffet. Japan is the king of crazy fast food, but the US has had it’s own triumphs. Let’s take a look at some of the most insane items a fast food restaurant has ever put on their menu.

BK Double Meat Beast Whopper
BK Double Meat Beast Whopper — We open this list with Burger King’s Double Meat Beast Whopper, which might actually be the coolest name ever for a hamburger.  This “beast” consists of two BK burger patties topped with a layer of pepperoni.  That’s right, instead of just stacking another patty and/or bacon on this heart stopper and calling it a day, BK gets creative, digs deep, and finds a different category of meat to get stuck in your heart and kill you.  It will probably surprise you to know that this is arguably the tamest sandwich on the list.  A double burger with pepperoni is the tamest sandwich on the list?  Yes it is.  Think you have the stones to continue?  Then let’s move on…

BK Quad Stacker
BK Quad Stacker — This bad ass burger kicks low blood pressure in the balls with FOUR hamburger patties, FOUR slices of bacon and FOUR slices of cheese. As far as I know these hunks of artery hardening insanity were available across the US as well as overseas.  As a matter of fact, Hungry Jacks, the Australian Burger King, offered a variation.  Hungry Jacks removed one of the hamburger patties (“whew!”) and added a FRIED EGG (“Wha-?!”).  The World:  “Fast food is making us fat!”  Burger King:  “F**k you.”

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(Un)Happy iPhone Friday + Pepsi Blue Hawaii!!

Posted in Apple, iPhone, Pepsi, pop culture, reviews, soda, technology with tags , , , , , , on July 11, 2008 by Paxton

Just over a year ago I wrote an article discussing the release of iPhone version UNO plus two crazy Japanese items; Pepsi Ice Cucumber and Garlic Seafood Pringles. In what I believed to be a fortuitous situation, today I was supposed to acquire the newest version of the iPhone to go along with the new Pepsi summer release in Japan, Pepsi Blue Hawaii. It was going to be glorious. I could shadow that article from 6/29/2007 and review both of these items today. So I went to my local AT&T store to verify that the planets were all aligned (Pluto included, screw you scientists!!) and that AT&T was ready to toss me that touch-screen slab of AWESOME (aka iPhone) much like The Lady in the Lake did for Arthur and his Excalibur. Instead I found out that I can’t get the subsidized price, $299 for the 16Gb, until August 9th. If I want to get the iPhone today, I’d have to pay the full price, $499. $499 bucks?! Who am I, Rockefeller? So I have to wait 4 more weeks to be completed in body and soul. Until then, I have to look longingly at Engadget.com and try not to cry as it posts story after story of people buying the new iPhone 3G. Thanks a lot suits at AT&T and your stupid upgrade “rules”!!!

Anyway, while at the AT&T store the other night I took the opportunity to get my wife a new phone. She has been resisting this for months (nay, YEARS) because she loves her little phone she is currently using. I don’t know why. It’s an eyesore. It’s the cell phone equivalent of an abacus. It’s embarrassing to a tech/gadget guy like myself she carries this thing around. Seriously, this phone is so old it’s powered by a steam engine. You have to start it by turning a tiny crank on the side like one of those ancient farm tractors. Despite all of this and my constant badgering, she wouldn’t get rid of it. I mean, the thing didn’t even have a speakerphone. That’s right, NO SPEAKERPHONE!! I mean, what are we, in the Dark Ages?! She had some insane fascination with it. Well, this past weekend she flushed it down the toilet while at her uncle’s house in New Mexico. And to answer the question I always get, no, she wasn’t drunk (yet). Needless to say, this made me very happy. First thing through my mind? “YES!!!!!!” First thing I said to her? “Awwww, hunny, I’m sorry.” What surprises me about the “flushing incident” is that the phone itself didn’t get stuck in the hole, it actually went down the pipes. Her uncle is going to have a wicked plumbing bill soon. They even tried to call it to see if they could hear it ring. LOL…yes, they were actually calling the phone like it was lost in the couch cushions, not body surfing it’s way to the Rio Grande via Albuquerque’s metropolitan sewer system. I’m dying laughing thinking about it right now and I’ve heard the story three times. My wife, what a mess.

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Those wily Japanese: Pepsi Ice Cucumber and Seafood Pringles! Release of Apple iPhone

Posted in Apple, food, humor, iPhone, Pepsi, random, reviews, soda with tags , , , , , , on June 29, 2007 by Paxton

Hey, guys, I’m back for another Friday update. I was hoping to get a full article out this week, but that didn’t happen. Instead you get this quick multi-level update. I would like to use these Friday entries to hit you with a veritable kaleidescope of items all at once…to “pepper” you with goodness on this last day of the week. Hope you enjoy.

iPhoneWell, today marks the birth of the single most awaited electronic gadget since the Motorola Razr was released back in 2004. Remember when the Razr phones were originally priced at $799 without a 2 year contract? Crazy, cause now you can get them for free. I’m on my second one. Anywho, Apple will finally release the iPhone to the sweaty, eager masses today at 6pm. The media blitz leading up to this release has been on overdrive. If the news isn’t talking about Paris Hilton, then it’s been talking about the iPhone release. People have been lining up at Apple and AT&T stores all week waiting to get their hands on this electronic slice of nirvana. However, I do wonder how many of these people that are lining up plan on actually keeping the phone or are they going to unceremoniously dump it to eBay with a 300% markup? Shades of the PS3, me thinks. The phone looks cool, but I’ll wait for the early adopters to test it out for me to see if I’ll like it.

Ice CucumberThose crazy Japanese. They have the strangest flavors of American food products over there. Sushi ice-cream. Really? WTF?! However, if I found that stuff here while I was at the grocery store without my wife, you can bet your sweet hind-quarters I’d buy it. I’m kooky like that. I most assuredly wouldn’t like it, but I’d try it anyway. Similar to this phenomenon, cucumber flavored drinks are becoming very popular over there. In fact, Pepsi recently released Pepsi Ice Cucumber in Japan to much fanfare. Thanks to the magic of the ‘inter-tubes’, I was able to procure a bottle of the mystical green elixir (you knew I would) and it’s ‘go-time’ for a taste test. If you are a regular reader of this site then cucumber soda shouldn’t be too big a shock to your system. Back in February I reviewed sodas that tasted like celery and chocolate fudge. How bad can this be, really…………oh sweet, Mary Francis this is worse than anything in that last article. I thought that ICE cucumber meant it was a cool, refreshing drink, but it actually means that there is a hint of mint in the flavor. Yes, MINT cucumber soda. Imagine making a cold cucumber salad, but instead of mayonnaise you soaked it in a bottle of Scope mouthwash…..and then puked in it. That’s what it tastes like. My lord, I think the soda is actually trying to fight its way back OUT of my stomach. Why do I do this to myself? The soda itself is a nice, pretty anit-freeze green color. It almost looks radioactive. It probably is.

Seafood PringlesWell, as if that self-induced bit of flagellation wasn’t enough, I also procured a can of Pringles from Japan. So what, I hear someone in the back yelling at me? Yes, I answer to that same non-believer. Pringles. Garlic Seafood Pringles. Go ahead, rub your eyes, shake your head, you read that correctly. GARLIC. SEAFOOD. PRINGLES. To further illustrate the point, there are pictures of shrimp and oysters on the can. Awesome. Okay bright blue can of seafood potato chips……”let’s do this”. The first taste of chip after going in the mouth is surprisingly mild. Not a hint of sea—-wait a sec, there it is. Shrimp taste hitting me now like a metal pole to the genitals. Oh lord, I’m getting nauseous. That’s not good. Man alive, I might be spewing seafood chips and cucumber soda all over my computer in a sec. Cripes, WTF is with the Japanese and their taste buds? Do they enjoy engaging their gag reflexes? I feel like I’m on an episode of Fear Factor. Makes me wish I would have opted for the Grilled Bacon flavored Pringles.

Man, I could use a Silkwood shower after trying those. Pepsi Ice Cucumber may be the 21st Century version of castor oil. Grilled Seafood Pringles may be the 21st Century version of getting molested by your Uncle. STAY. AWAY.

Hope you have a good weekend. Me, I’m going to need the two days to get over the nightmares and full body heaving caused by the above two products.

See you on the other side.

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