Cavalcade of Awesome

Hey, guys, I’m back for another Friday update. I was hoping to get a full article out this week, but that didn’t happen. Instead you get this quick multi-level update. I would like to use these Friday entries to hit you with a veritable kaleidescope of items all at once…to “pepper” you with goodness on this last day of the week. Hope you enjoy.

Well, today marks the birth of the single most awaited electronic gadget since the Motorola Razr was released back in 2004. Remember when the Razr phones were originally priced at $799 without a 2 year contract? Crazy, cause now you can get them for free. I’m on my second one. Anywho, Apple will finally release the iPhone to the sweaty, eager masses today at 6pm. The media blitz leading up to this release has been on overdrive. If the news isn’t talking about Paris Hilton, then it’s been talking about the iPhone release. People have been lining up at Apple and AT&T stores all week waiting to get their hands on this electronic slice of nirvana. However, I do wonder how many of these people that are lining up plan on actually keeping the phone or are they going to unceremoniously dump it to eBay with a 300% markup? Shades of the PS3, me thinks. The phone looks cool, but I’ll wait for the early adopters to test it out for me to see if I’ll like it.

Those crazy Japanese. They have the strangest flavors of American food products over there. Sushi ice-cream. Really? WTF?! However, if I found that stuff here while I was at the grocery store without my wife, you can bet your sweet hind-quarters I’d buy it. I’m kooky like that. I most assuredly wouldn’t like it, but I’d try it anyway. Similar to this phenomenon, cucumber flavored drinks are becoming very popular over there. In fact, Pepsi recently released Pepsi Ice Cucumber in Japan to much fanfare. Thanks to the magic of the ‘inter-tubes’, I was able to procure a bottle of the mystical green elixir (you knew I would) and it’s ‘go-time’ for a taste test. If you are a regular reader of this site then cucumber soda shouldn’t be too big a shock to your system. Back in February I reviewed sodas that tasted like celery and chocolate fudge. How bad can this be, really…………oh sweet, Mary Francis this is worse than anything in that last article. I thought that ICE cucumber meant it was a cool, refreshing drink, but it actually means that there is a hint of mint in the flavor. Yes, MINT cucumber soda. Imagine making a cold cucumber salad, but instead of mayonnaise you soaked it in a bottle of Scope mouthwash…..and then puked in it. That’s what it tastes like. My lord, I think the soda is actually trying to fight its way back OUT of my stomach. Why do I do this to myself? The soda itself is a nice, pretty anit-freeze green color. It almost looks radioactive. It probably is.

Well, as if that self-induced bit of flagellation wasn’t enough, I also procured a can of Pringles from Japan. So what, I hear someone in the back yelling at me? Yes, I answer to that same non-believer. Pringles. Garlic Seafood Pringles. Go ahead, rub your eyes, shake your head, you read that correctly. GARLIC. SEAFOOD. PRINGLES. To further illustrate the point, there are pictures of shrimp and oysters on the can. Awesome. Okay bright blue can of seafood potato chips……”let’s do this”. The first taste of chip after going in the mouth is surprisingly mild. Not a hint of sea—-wait a sec, there it is. Shrimp taste hitting me now like a metal pole to the genitals. Oh lord, I’m getting nauseous. That’s not good. Man alive, I might be spewing seafood chips and cucumber soda all over my computer in a sec. Cripes, WTF is with the Japanese and their taste buds? Do they enjoy engaging their gag reflexes? I feel like I’m on an episode of Fear Factor. Makes me wish I would have opted for the Grilled Bacon flavored Pringles.

Man, I could use a Silkwood shower after trying those. Pepsi Ice Cucumber may be the 21st Century version of castor oil. Grilled Seafood Pringles may be the 21st Century version of getting molested by your Uncle. STAY. AWAY.

Hope you have a good weekend. Me, I’m going to need the two days to get over the nightmares and full body heaving caused by the above two products.

See you on the other side.

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This entry was posted on June 29, 2007 at 9:08 pm and is filed under Apple, food, humor, iPhone, Pepsi, random, reviews, soda with tags Apple, iPhone, Japan, Pepsi, Pringles, soda, technology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.