Double Meat Beast Whopper: 6 Completely insane fast food menu items

Dude, fast food ROCKS. I could eat it everyday, if it wouldn’t slowly kill me. Is it odd to love something that would kill me? I don’t care, I love it.

What I love most about fast food is the unbelievably over-the-top ways in which a restaurant will try to lure in customers. Menu items that inspire a nauseated sense of awe lure people in like zombies to a brain buffet. Japan is the king of crazy fast food, but the US has had it’s own triumphs. Let’s take a look at some of the most insane items a fast food restaurant has ever put on their menu.

BK Double Meat Beast Whopper
BK Double Meat Beast Whopper — We open this list with Burger King’s Double Meat Beast Whopper, which might actually be the coolest name ever for a hamburger.  This “beast” consists of two BK burger patties topped with a layer of pepperoni.  That’s right, instead of just stacking another patty and/or bacon on this heart stopper and calling it a day, BK gets creative, digs deep, and finds a different category of meat to get stuck in your heart and kill you.  It will probably surprise you to know that this is arguably the tamest sandwich on the list.  A double burger with pepperoni is the tamest sandwich on the list?  Yes it is.  Think you have the stones to continue?  Then let’s move on…

BK Quad Stacker
BK Quad Stacker — This bad ass burger kicks low blood pressure in the balls with FOUR hamburger patties, FOUR slices of bacon and FOUR slices of cheese. As far as I know these hunks of artery hardening insanity were available across the US as well as overseas.  As a matter of fact, Hungry Jacks, the Australian Burger King, offered a variation.  Hungry Jacks removed one of the hamburger patties (“whew!”) and added a FRIED EGG (“Wha-?!”).  The World:  “Fast food is making us fat!”  Burger King:  “F**k you.”

McD Mega Sandwiches
McDonald’s Mega Sandwiches —Found on Japanese McDonald’s menus.  On the far left is the Mega Muffin containing TWO (!) sausage patties, McEgg, cheese and bacon.  Get a real life look at what that soggy, breakfast-y goodness looks like in your hand here.  The picture in that link scares me.  I feel like the Mega Muffin is actually staring back at me…laughing.  The middle picture up there in red is the MegaMac.  It’s a DOUBLE Big Mac.  See the reality of that situation in this pic. How do the Japanese eat like this all the time? The third purple pic on the far right is the Mega Teriyaki. I can only assume that this sandwich is some type of biological weapon that Japan will use to conquer the Americas sometime in the year 2012.

Tamago Double Mac
McDonald’s Tamago Double Mac — You know, when McDonald’s released the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese while I was in college, I thought, “There is no reason for one person to eat that much sandwich. Are families supposed to share it?” I was so naive. This particular sandwich is the Double Quarter Pounder’s abusive step-father. Two quarter pound patties topped by bacon and a fried egg.  What could McDonald’s possibly do as an encore? Serve this sandwich between two pepperoni pizzas?  Maybe throw in a tote bag filled with vegetarian chili a la Taco Town?  I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to find out how McDonald’s will next try to kill us.

Pizza Hut Double Roll
Pizza Hut Double Roll — I know, looking at this picture almost hurts your eyes, doesn’t it?  The first time I looked at this pic of the Pizza Hut Double Roll I crapped out my spleen.  The second time I saw the pic?  Heart attack.  One can only imagine what would happen if I actually ate one.  This pizza is covered in mini-burgers.  MINI-BURGERS!!!  And the crust?  Did you notice it was pigs in a blanket?  That’s right, tiny, cheese hot dogs  act as the crust for this mini-burger and bacon pizza.  I get the meat sweats just looking at it.  Where can you order this?  Japan, of course.  In case you were wondering, it contains over 5,100 calories and over 10,000 grams of sodium.  This pizza is so bad ass that eating one may cause you to grow a thick mustache/beard and chest hair and start kicking everyone’s ass.  It may also get your girlfriend/wife pregnant.

Pizza Hut Golden Fortune
Pizza Hut Golden Fortune — The Golden Fortune. What else do you call a pizza with fish, crab sticks, shrimp, pineapple and limes on it?  The Holy Jackpot?  The Mother Lode?  A pizza like this is like winnin’ the lottery, my friend.  Oh, and don’t forget the miniature doughy containers of cheese that surround the pizza like a crown.  A crown of AWESOME.  Be careful, though, staring at the Golden Fortune may cause blindness.  Japan, you constantly amaze me with your AWESOME little “WTF?!” items.  What would I do without you?  I’d have nothing to write about.

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31 Responses to “Double Meat Beast Whopper: 6 Completely insane fast food menu items”

  1. I think I’m feeling a little full, or ill, or both

  2. Your Heart Says:

    please stop stuffing this stuff into my highway system. I’m trying to pump blood, not grease, fat, and animal bi-products.

    McByPass.

  3. That double roll pizza….just wow…

  4. Holy crap and you wonder why Canadian and Americans are fat and over weight

    The sad part is I would eat everything mentioned here.

  5. Wow…and I thought that the baconator was big!

  6. Okay, now I’m officially starving lol. I really do eat too much fast food for my own good but it’s just too yummy to give up. Have you picked up the Eat This Not That book yet? Really, really helpful and interesting.

  7. Your former freakin' neighbor Says:

    You know, when I tried the Loaded Steakhouse burger at Burger King (1/3 pound angus burger, mashed potatoes, bacon, AI sauce, french fried onions, with lettuce tomato and pickles, more for comic relief thatn anything else) I thought “Well, this is offically the most unhealthy thing I have ever eaten.”

    Little did I know that the above abominations existed. Holy Cow! That Quad stacker stands up to the burgers I’ve seen the Man vs Food guy eat (you must watch that show… it’s food porn).

    But c’mon shrimp and crab on pizza with lime. It’s like WoknRoll went out, partied like a rockstar, got home in the wee hours of the morning, climbed into bed with it’s roomate, PizzaHut, and then threw up all over him. The resultant mess was put in a box and sold.

    My current fave is the Kitchen Sink burger at Ted’s Montana Grill. A huge burger with ham, bacon, cheese, grilled mushrooms, grilled onions, and a fired egg. Of course, I ask for jalapenos on it, without the bun (watching the carbs) and add a healthy dose of ketchup and mustard. Top it off with a side of onion rings and and ice cold beer, and you have yourself an awesome burger with grilled awesome, fried awesome and a side of awesome, my friend.

    Of course, they stick a tiny American Flag in it, like an intrepid, yet incredibly tiny, Sir Edmund Hillary has climbed the monstrosity and claimed it for the Good Ol’ US of A.

    • Um you are of course aware that Sir Edmund Hillary was a New Zealander right? And thus the odds of him claiming anything for the USA are slim to none, and slim left town.

  8. Mike Wiles Says:

    Pax,

    First, let me say that I had Toni read this article……and about 2/3 of the way through she hunched down really close to the screen and said …. “Are those Pigs in a F*king Blanket???”. So yes, some people did notice the PIB crust.

    And last….may I submit Chandler, AZ’s Heart Attack Grill as the mother of all unhealthy food. A restaurant where if you weight over 350 pounds, you eat free. A place where you can order a Quadruple Bypass Burger (Four 1/2lb patties, 12 slices of cheese, lard coated buns – yes – lard), unlimited Flatliner Fries (fried in 100% lard) from the Fry Bar, and Jolt Cola as your value meal.

    http://www.heartattackgrill.com

    As featured on Extreme Pigouts – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zjnh1I5k-jM

    • OMFG, I think I’ve seen a special on the Heart Attack Grill. That place is AWESOME!

      LOL…glad Toni noticed the pigs in a blanket. For many people, their brains refuse to accept what they just saw. It’s like a sighting of Loch Ness or Elvis. “Did I just see what I thought I f’n saw? WTF?!”

  9. See, everyone says “this is the reason Americans and Canadians are fat” but half of these are from Japan. Unless sumo wrestlers are eating them only, it’s not making us fat. Us sitting on our fat butts eating them is what makes us fat. And the quad stacker? It’s calorie and fat loaded, but it’s not really that substantial. I frequently eat two of them in a sitting. Most people go to BK and get two bacon double cheeseburgers now that they’re only $1.50, and the quad stacker is basically the same, with one less bun. I would love to see McD’s bring some of the monster creations stateside, they all look yummy…….

  10. […] I love fast food and fast food advertising.  Check out these popular fast food articles: The Golden Archives: McDonald’s Sandwich Hall of Fame What our favorite fast food joints looked like back in the day Part I Double Meat Beast Whopper: 6 Completely Insane Fast Food Menu Items […]

  11. Seen the Quad Stackers here, but won’t go above a double cheeseburger, and that’s only if we’re talking about regular-size burgers. Something like a Triple or Quad strikes me as something for high school football players to eat, and they can probably afford the intake.

    …I’d make an exception for the Double Meat Beast Whopper, though, but probably just once. Pepperoni on a Whopper? That’s just too crazy not to try.

    Of the McDonald’s Megas, the one that interests me most is the Teriyaki, and I’d probably try to get that as a regular Big Mac-sized portion, if I could.

    The Tamago looks interesting to me as well, but again, I’d probably want a single beef patty, rather than double, if it’s Quarter Pounders they’re using.

    The Double Roll? That looks like party food, where everyone grabs a little. Hard to imagine eating that as a meal, unless maybe there were four or five people sharing.

    The Golden Fortune looks good. Fish, crab, and shrimp on a pizza? Sold. So very sold. I wish Pizza Hut would bring that here.

  12. […] and 4 slices of bacon.  Sound familiar?  It’s the ingredients that were also used in the BK Quad Stacker.  The Rodeo Burger is a Whopper with a grilled onion ring and covered in BBQ sauce.  The BK Club […]

  13. […] cheese and 4 slices of bacon.  Sound familiar?  It’s the ingredients that were also used in the BK Quad Stacker.  The Rodeo Burger is a Whopper with a grilled onion ring and covered in BBQ sauce.  The BK Club […]

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