Double Meat Beast Whopper: 6 Completely insane fast food menu items
Dude, fast food ROCKS. I could eat it everyday, if it wouldn’t slowly kill me. Is it odd to love something that would kill me? I don’t care, I love it.
What I love most about fast food is the unbelievably over-the-top ways in which a restaurant will try to lure in customers. Menu items that inspire a nauseated sense of awe lure people in like zombies to a brain buffet. Japan is the king of crazy fast food, but the US has had it’s own triumphs. Let’s take a look at some of the most insane items a fast food restaurant has ever put on their menu.
BK Double Meat Beast Whopper — We open this list with Burger King’s Double Meat Beast Whopper, which might actually be the coolest name ever for a hamburger. This “beast” consists of two BK burger patties topped with a layer of pepperoni. That’s right, instead of just stacking another patty and/or bacon on this heart stopper and calling it a day, BK gets creative, digs deep, and finds a different category of meat to get stuck in your heart and kill you. It will probably surprise you to know that this is arguably the tamest sandwich on the list. A double burger with pepperoni is the tamest sandwich on the list? Yes it is. Think you have the stones to continue? Then let’s move on…
BK Quad Stacker — This bad ass burger kicks low blood pressure in the balls with FOUR hamburger patties, FOUR slices of bacon and FOUR slices of cheese. As far as I know these hunks of artery hardening insanity were available across the US as well as overseas. As a matter of fact, Hungry Jacks, the Australian Burger King, offered a variation. Hungry Jacks removed one of the hamburger patties (“whew!”) and added a FRIED EGG (“Wha-?!”). The World: “Fast food is making us fat!” Burger King: “F**k you.”
McDonald’s Mega Sandwiches —Found on Japanese McDonald’s menus. On the far left is the Mega Muffin containing TWO (!) sausage patties, McEgg, cheese and bacon. Get a real life look at what that soggy, breakfast-y goodness looks like in your hand here. The picture in that link scares me. I feel like the Mega Muffin is actually staring back at me…laughing. The middle picture up there in red is the MegaMac. It’s a DOUBLE Big Mac. See the reality of that situation in this pic. How do the Japanese eat like this all the time? The third purple pic on the far right is the Mega Teriyaki. I can only assume that this sandwich is some type of biological weapon that Japan will use to conquer the Americas sometime in the year 2012.
McDonald’s Tamago Double Mac — You know, when McDonald’s released the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese while I was in college, I thought, “There is no reason for one person to eat that much sandwich. Are families supposed to share it?” I was so naive. This particular sandwich is the Double Quarter Pounder’s abusive step-father. Two quarter pound patties topped by bacon and a fried egg. What could McDonald’s possibly do as an encore? Serve this sandwich between two pepperoni pizzas? Maybe throw in a tote bag filled with vegetarian chili a la Taco Town? I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to find out how McDonald’s will next try to kill us.
Pizza Hut Double Roll — I know, looking at this picture almost hurts your eyes, doesn’t it? The first time I looked at this pic of the Pizza Hut Double Roll I crapped out my spleen. The second time I saw the pic? Heart attack. One can only imagine what would happen if I actually ate one. This pizza is covered in mini-burgers. MINI-BURGERS!!! And the crust? Did you notice it was pigs in a blanket? That’s right, tiny, cheese hot dogs act as the crust for this mini-burger and bacon pizza. I get the meat sweats just looking at it. Where can you order this? Japan, of course. In case you were wondering, it contains over 5,100 calories and over 10,000 grams of sodium. This pizza is so bad ass that eating one may cause you to grow a thick mustache/beard and chest hair and start kicking everyone’s ass. It may also get your girlfriend/wife pregnant.
Pizza Hut Golden Fortune — The Golden Fortune. What else do you call a pizza with fish, crab sticks, shrimp, pineapple and limes on it? The Holy Jackpot? The Mother Lode? A pizza like this is like winnin’ the lottery, my friend. Oh, and don’t forget the miniature doughy containers of cheese that surround the pizza like a crown. A crown of AWESOME. Be careful, though, staring at the Golden Fortune may cause blindness. Japan, you constantly amaze me with your AWESOME little “WTF?!” items. What would I do without you? I’d have nothing to write about.