Archive for the cell phones Category

More fun with my camera phone

Posted in camera phone, cell phones, random, technology with tags , , , , , on January 27, 2011 by Paxton

I bought my first camera phone back in 2006.  It was the original Motorola Razr V3.  It was pretty cool being able to snap pics of stuff I came across at any given moment.  So, in December of that same year, I wrote an article that  took a look at some of the random photos I had taken with my phone.  One of my blogging/Twitter buddies Trish just posted a very similar article and it got me thinking that I want to do it again.  It has been 4 years.  Plus, I have a much better phone now, the iPhone.

So, I’m going to delve into my cell phone photos and see what randomness I can come up with.  Here we go.

Croc Lobster
I found this odd statue outside a restaurant in the French Quarter in New Orleans. I call it “Croc-Lobster” (get it?…The B-52’s song?…hello?).  I find myself completely fascinated by the idea of a Croc-Lobster.  This needs to be a monster that fights Godzilla.  NOW.

Before the baby, my wife was an elementary school teacher. So she had these alphabet letter cards up on the walls of her classroom. I took pics of the letters P, A and X (because it’s my name, duh) and texted them to my brother.  It looks silly now that I’m looking at it but that’s the stuff my brother and I text to each other.

Knight Industries truck
I got so excited when I saw this truck. I have to wonder if a black Firebird named KITT was inside as this is very similar to the truck that transports that awesome car in the show Knight Rider.  Even the logo is similar.

Went to Charleston, SC a few years ago with some friends. In the middle of the night, drunk and hungry, we wound up in a small Mexican restaurant in the middle of downtown.  Featured on the menu was this unbelievable site, The Margarona.  A frozen margarita served with a full bottle of Corona turned upside down into it.  It never even occurred to me to try something like this.  My mind can now be considered BLOWN.  For some reason, they wouldn’t serve it at 2am, which seems to me to be the only time someone would order it.

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My iPhone can now kill hookers, travel through time

Posted in Apple, cell phones, humor, iPhone, pop culture, technology with tags , , , on September 12, 2008 by Paxton

Apple Old LogoI know what you are thinking. You are thinking, “If Pax writes any more about his stupid iPhone I’m going to cut him with the prison shank I keep in my bathroom toilet.” Well, maybe you’re not thinking of that specifically, because, as my wife just informed me, not everyone has a prison shank hidden in their toilet tank (which is crazy, because you should have one. Seriously). All physical threats of violence to the side, I am in fact going to talk about my supremely awesome iPhone again. If you got a got a problem with it, you can meet me on the corner of Shut and The Hell Up. I’ll be the guy stabbing people with a wet prison shank named Skip. Yes, his name is Skip. He likes action movies, listening to AC/DC, and shanking people in the gut. Come up, say hi and he’ll shank you in the gut.

For those that don’t want to die, I thought I’d talk a little bit about applications you can download for your iPhone.  Ever since Apple let third party developers design mini-applications (aka apps) for the iPhone that get distributed on iTunes, many cool and interesting games and productivity apps have shown up.  As good as these apps are, they don’t cover every circumstance you find yourself in.  What if some A-hole cuts you off in traffic and giving the guy “the finger” just won’t cut it?  Or what if the hooker you are seeing threatens to go to your wife?  The iPhone can’t help you in either situation, bro.  However, I’ve designed a few apps that may give you the upper hand should you find yourself in one of the above “less than ideal” situations.

If you thought the iPhone was awesome before,  my new “Cavalcade of Awesome” apps make the iPhone so ridiculously kick-ass it may bend the fabric of reality itself.  You could be talking on your iPhone, set off one of my apps, then find yourself in another dimension.  My stuff is that good.  Be careful though, I was testing some of my applications and next thing I know I was in a battle arena on Cylus 3 facing the nose tusk of a Snaarlak beast.  Let me tell you, a Snaarlak beast makes a Chnultha serpent look like a baby Greeb.  My situation escalated quickly and I had to use the Cavalcade of Awesome apps to their full extent.  I’m lucky to be typing this article today.

So let’s take a look at a few of my new apps.

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Geek Porn: A Look at some awesome, awesome stuff

Posted in Bill Gates, cell phones, humor, Knight Rider, pop culture, technology with tags , , , , on June 26, 2008 by Paxton

Geek Porn

Ask my wife. I’m kind of a geek. My particular geek-ness leans toward movies and technology (computers, gadgets, etc). Everyone from friends to family to friends of family ask me to fix their computers. It’s my lot in life. But I embrace this. As a tech geek, during the day I surf many “geeky” websites that preview new technologies and gadgets months (and sometimes years) before they hit the market. The last few weeks has seen a flood of cool items, gadgets and other stuff that are just so mind numbingly awesome that it may melt your face just looking at them. Of course, I had to tell you guys, my readers, the 4 or 5 people that frequent this site.

So, if you enjoy seeing cool, geeky gadgets that no one else on the planet would buy, then continue ahead for several items that may just fill that void in your soul and make you whole once again in a way that your spouse or significant other never could (sorry, Steph, it’s true).

KITT GPSKnight Rider GPS – I don’t mean to completely blow out your retinas on the first geeky gadget, but how earth shattering is this little nugget of awesome? It’s a portable GPS device similar to a TomTom GO or Garmin Nuvi, but it’s branded with Knight Rider, including moving red lights on either side of the LCD screen. But that’s not the face melting part. Like the Garmin, this GPS has voice directions you can turn on and the voice sounds like…wait for it…wait for it…KITT!!!! Yes, they got William Daniels to record the voice for the GPS directions! When you first start the GPS it says…”Michael, where would you like to go today?” You can reprogram it to use your own name. SO. UNBELIEVABLY. AWESOME. Now I have to buy a 1982 Pontiac Trans Am, trick it out with a KITT conversion and then I’ll be able to cruise around with skin tight jeans, leather jacket, calculator watch and perm-mullet. Look out ladies!

Check out the product demo:

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Fun With My Camera Phone…

Posted in camera phone, humor, personal, random, technology with tags , on December 1, 2006 by Paxton

Man, camera phones are the greatest. When I’m out and aboot during the day and I see something funny or strange, I can just quickly snap a pic of it to show people later. I’ve turned the sound off on the camera function so it doesn’t even make that tell-tale camera clicking sound when I take a pic. Perfect for crowded areas. I thought I’d show you guys a few of the pics I’ve taken this week during my adventures. All of the below pics were taken by me on my cell phone, which, by the way, is a Razr V3 (seen left), hopefully to be upgraded to the Samsung Blackjack this spring.

FYI…I play games on my phone, mostly Pocket Yahtzee, so when going to the bathroom with your phone, keep a good grip on it. My phone went diving into the toilet like Greg Louganis yesterday. It even bumped the side of the bowl like Greg. Luckily, it was pre-business, so clean up wasn’t messy (you’d be surprised the amount of people that asked).

Anywho…on to the pics!!

Holy crap, what the hell is this guy compensating for? Either this is Paul Bunyon’s sweet ride or the owner has the tiniest genitalia on the planet. And he parked it BACKWARDS. For a guy with such small genitalia, he’s got some ego.

I was at the Big Lots by my office during lunch and right next door was this Chinese grocery (pictured left). I love fun and different types of supermarkets and groceries so I thought I’d drop in. Maybe I’d find some cool Chinese energy drinks or sodas. I thought it would be fun. I was wrong. As soon as I stepped into the place, I knew I was wrong. First of all, the smell. It was unearthly. At first, it smelled like some old guy’s ass (not that I actually know what that smells like, but I can guess). The smell changed and morphed the longer I stayed in this unholy place. The smell was so bad, my entire olfactory system shut down. It was like Cherynobyl in my brain, a complete meltdown. My eyes were burning, I couldn’t breathe, and I wanted to cry. I walked around very quickly trying to catch my breath and I noticed I was the only “westerner” in there. Everyone else is Chinese, and old. Not just old, but ANCIENT. We are talking hieroglyphics old. So, now I’m scared. I’m afraid the Akuza (they are Japanese, I know) are going to jump out and turn me into Today’s Special. So I hightail it out of there. Walking out I noticed there was like one register open and the chick was doing her nails. So strange…yet wonderful. I will never set foot in this place again, but I will speak of it often.

Hogly Wogly?! Come on, dude. You can’t do any better than Hogly Wogly? How about Cowsy Wowsy? Birdsy Wirdsy? Piggly Wiggly….wait.

This is a public service announcement. If you are going to mix absinthe and lemonade, be prepared for the very real possibility of a cross dressing transvestite waking you up in the middle of the French Quarter without your pants on.

Or so I’ve been told.

DEAD. SEXY. You know it, and I know it.

It’s December already?! Can you believe it?! Time has FLOWN by. Holiday season is upon us. Have a great weekend everyone and get your Xmas shopping done.

Remember, I want a Samsung Blackjack.

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RIM BlackBerry settles lawsuit; Patent Trolling?

Posted in BlackBerry, patent trolling, technology with tags , on March 14, 2006 by Paxton

For the last year and a half, Research in Motion (RIM) has been in a bitter dispute with patent holding company NTP over software patents used by the popular Blackberry wireless email/PDA service. NTP claimed that RIM was illegally infringing on their software patent with their Blackberry service. The problem occured in software protocols and code within the service itself. The lawsuit came to the point where the entire service was going to be shut down and subscribers would have to regroup and move on to a new service. This month, though, RIM settled it’s lawsuit with NTP. This news made millions of subscribers happy that they don’t have to spend thousands of dollars switching to new providers.

While this is good for Blackberry subscribers (of which I am not one), I wonder what this means for future technology. The practice NTP used above is called patent trolling. Holding companies will buy up obscure patents and search for any technology that is infringing, however slightly, on it’s patent. This can be bad in several ways. A lot of these lawsuits are not by the original patent owner, they are by a holding company that had nothing whatsoever to do with the original patent, and, by and large, probably don’t even understand their patent. It’s really just a financial game for the holding company. They may not even win their case, but all they need to do is find that one product with the large company…….then jackpot.

For me, this can only stifle the advances a company will make in technology. If companies are afraid to research and create breakthroughs because they are worried about infringing on some obscure patent, then that’s not good for anybody. Something needs to be done about these holding companies doing nothing but trying to earn a quick buck on innovations they neither created nor had anything to do with.

On the other side, I think there needs to be some reform in the Patent Office. Many of the patents given today are for simple, obvious programming, not so much innovations. Amazon patented it’s ‘One-Click Ordering’ system which seems, to me, more like short cut programming as opposed to an innovation. Maybe I’m wrong. I also think the rules for software patents need to be written more clearly and maybe the Patent Office needs to mine through it’s patent catalogs and do some re-thinking, maybe hire more patent officers and train them better. Stop a lot of the frivolous patents that are getting through the system.

Either way, reform probably needs to happen (both consumer and gov’t side) because in the corporate battle of patents, I think the purpose of the Patent Office, protecting the little guy who actually created the innovation, is becoming forgotten.

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