Cavalcade of Awesome

Man, camera phones are the greatest. When I’m out and aboot during the day and I see something funny or strange, I can just quickly snap a pic of it to show people later. I’ve turned the sound off on the camera function so it doesn’t even make that tell-tale camera clicking sound when I take a pic. Perfect for crowded areas. I thought I’d show you guys a few of the pics I’ve taken this week during my adventures. All of the below pics were taken by me on my cell phone, which, by the way, is a Razr V3 (seen left), hopefully to be upgraded to the Samsung Blackjack this spring.

FYI…I play games on my phone, mostly Pocket Yahtzee, so when going to the bathroom with your phone, keep a good grip on it. My phone went diving into the toilet like Greg Louganis yesterday. It even bumped the side of the bowl like Greg. Luckily, it was pre-business, so clean up wasn’t messy (you’d be surprised the amount of people that asked).

Anywho…on to the pics!!

Holy crap, what the hell is this guy compensating for? Either this is Paul Bunyon’s sweet ride or the owner has the tiniest genitalia on the planet. And he parked it BACKWARDS. For a guy with such small genitalia, he’s got some ego.

I was at the Big Lots by my office during lunch and right next door was this Chinese grocery (pictured left). I love fun and different types of supermarkets and groceries so I thought I’d drop in. Maybe I’d find some cool Chinese energy drinks or sodas. I thought it would be fun. I was wrong. As soon as I stepped into the place, I knew I was wrong. First of all, the smell. It was unearthly. At first, it smelled like some old guy’s ass (not that I actually know what that smells like, but I can guess). The smell changed and morphed the longer I stayed in this unholy place. The smell was so bad, my entire olfactory system shut down. It was like Cherynobyl in my brain, a complete meltdown. My eyes were burning, I couldn’t breathe, and I wanted to cry. I walked around very quickly trying to catch my breath and I noticed I was the only “westerner” in there. Everyone else is Chinese, and old. Not just old, but ANCIENT. We are talking hieroglyphics old. So, now I’m scared. I’m afraid the Akuza (they are Japanese, I know) are going to jump out and turn me into Today’s Special. So I hightail it out of there. Walking out I noticed there was like one register open and the chick was doing her nails. So strange…yet wonderful. I will never set foot in this place again, but I will speak of it often.

Hogly Wogly?! Come on, dude. You can’t do any better than Hogly Wogly? How about Cowsy Wowsy? Birdsy Wirdsy? Piggly Wiggly….wait.

This is a public service announcement. If you are going to mix absinthe and lemonade, be prepared for the very real possibility of a cross dressing transvestite waking you up in the middle of the French Quarter without your pants on.

Or so I’ve been told.

DEAD. SEXY. You know it, and I know it.

It’s December already?! Can you believe it?! Time has FLOWN by. Holiday season is upon us. Have a great weekend everyone and get your Xmas shopping done.

Remember, I want a Samsung Blackjack.

Technorati Tags – random personal camera phone chinese grocery humor absinthe

This entry was posted on December 1, 2006 at 3:08 pm and is filed under camera phone, humor, personal, random, technology with tags humor, technology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.