Hey, guys, I’m back for another Friday update. I was hoping to get a full article out this week, but that didn’t happen. Instead you get this quick multi-level update. I would like to use these Friday entries to hit you with a veritable kaleidescope of items all at once…to “pepper” you with goodness on this last day of the week. Hope you enjoy.
Well, today marks the birth of the single most awaited electronic gadget since the Motorola Razr was released back in 2004. Remember when the Razr phones were originally priced at $799 without a 2 year contract? Crazy, cause now you can get them for free. I’m on my second one. Anywho, Apple will finally release the iPhone to the sweaty, eager masses today at 6pm. The media blitz leading up to this release has been on overdrive. If the news isn’t talking about Paris Hilton, then it’s been talking about the iPhone release. People have been lining up at Apple and AT&T stores all week waiting to get their hands on this electronic slice of nirvana. However, I do wonder how many of these people that are lining up plan on actually keeping the phone or are they going to unceremoniously dump it to eBay with a 300% markup? Shades of the PS3, me thinks. The phone looks cool, but I’ll wait for the early adopters to test it out for me to see if I’ll like it.
Those crazy Japanese. They have the strangest flavors of American food products over there. Sushi ice-cream. Really? WTF?! However, if I found that stuff here while I was at the grocery store without my wife, you can bet your sweet hind-quarters I’d buy it. I’m kooky like that. I most assuredly wouldn’t like it, but I’d try it anyway. Similar to this phenomenon, cucumber flavored drinks are becoming very popular over there. In fact, Pepsi recently released Pepsi Ice Cucumber in Japan to much fanfare. Thanks to the magic of the ‘inter-tubes’, I was able to procure a bottle of the mystical green elixir (you knew I would) and it’s ‘go-time’ for a taste test. If you are a regular reader of this site then cucumber soda shouldn’t be too big a shock to your system. Back in February I reviewed sodas that tasted like celery and chocolate fudge. How bad can this be, really…………oh sweet, Mary Francis this is worse than anything in that last article. I thought that ICE cucumber meant it was a cool, refreshing drink, but it actually means that there is a hint of mint in the flavor. Yes, MINT cucumber soda. Imagine making a cold cucumber salad, but instead of mayonnaise you soaked it in a bottle of Scope mouthwash…..and then puked in it. That’s what it tastes like. My lord, I think the soda is actually trying to fight its way back OUT of my stomach. Why do I do this to myself? The soda itself is a nice, pretty anit-freeze green color. It almost looks radioactive. It probably is.
Well, as if that self-induced bit of flagellation wasn’t enough, I also procured a can of Pringles from Japan. So what, I hear someone in the back yelling at me? Yes, I answer to that same non-believer. Pringles. Garlic Seafood Pringles. Go ahead, rub your eyes, shake your head, you read that correctly. GARLIC. SEAFOOD. PRINGLES. To further illustrate the point, there are pictures of shrimp and oysters on the can. Awesome. Okay bright blue can of seafood potato chips……”let’s do this”. The first taste of chip after going in the mouth is surprisingly mild. Not a hint of sea—-wait a sec, there it is. Shrimp taste hitting me now like a metal pole to the genitals. Oh lord, I’m getting nauseous. That’s not good. Man alive, I might be spewing seafood chips and cucumber soda all over my computer in a sec. Cripes, WTF is with the Japanese and their taste buds? Do they enjoy engaging their gag reflexes? I feel like I’m on an episode of Fear Factor. Makes me wish I would have opted for the Grilled Bacon flavored Pringles.
Man, I could use a Silkwood shower after trying those. Pepsi Ice Cucumber may be the 21st Century version of castor oil. Grilled Seafood Pringles may be the 21st Century version of getting molested by your Uncle. STAY. AWAY.
Hope you have a good weekend. Me, I’m going to need the two days to get over the nightmares and full body heaving caused by the above two products.
See you on the other side.
Technorati Tags – Pepsi Pepsi Ice Cucumber food humor iPhone
Next, I went to see a movie called DOA: Dead or Alive. Check out the wacky trailer 
You know what else I found today? Hostess Apple Spice cupcakes. I thought they only sold these around Christmas time. Holy crap-in-a-hat these are divine. These things are like little apple-spice tears from heaven. Fluffs of clouds that have been lightly spiced with apples and frosting. It doesn’t get much better than this. If you can find these…GET THEM. So. F’n. Good.
Boy, howdy, is it good to be back in the good ‘ol US of A. My wife and I got back from France last weekend around 10pm on Saturday. Crazy, crazy adventures, let me tell you, and most of them were in the airport on the way back. That’s another tale for another time, though.
The first cool place I’ll talk about is the French Supermarket. When we went there, a place called Mona Prix, I found a kaleidescope of items that I’d never seen before. Alot of those items being cheese, but not all. Check out the lovely ladies in the picture to the left. Pretty little maids (i.e. foreign sodas) all in a row. As you can see, Diet Coke is called Coca-Cola Light outside the US. I’ve talked about this phenomena 
Our first evening there we were walking down one of the more popular streets, Champs Elysees, looking at the sites and wondering where to eat our first meal. We weren’t ready to sit down in a cafe and order as we were still jet-lagged and unsure of ourselves in our new surroundings. So, we decided to walk into a little pre-made sandwich place called Pomme de Pain and get something quick. Even though this place probably amounted to the French version of Subway, we thought it was cool. Let me tell you, in France, they love their Jambon/Fromage sandwiches (Ham & Cheese). That’s almost all they had on the menu, so we got it. When I bit into my sandwich, though, I had to do a double take because my mind detected something else in my sandwich besides ham and cheese. WHAT WAS THAT, I asked myself? I DON’T KNOW, I answered. So I opened up the bread and I could see that they put butter on the bread. WHAT?! BUTTER?! Let me pause for a moment to let that last statement sink in. Mull it around, consider the implications, CSI-style. Are you finished? Good. That’s right, I said BUTTER was on my ham & cheese sandwich. Why didn’t I think of this? Buttering my ham sandwich? Holy crap, this is GENIUS! Like Edison inventing the electric light or Einstein tinkering with the equation for energy, this is something that can change the course of recorded history. It rocked my totally American face right off my body. If I took a picture of my head right now, you wouldn’t see a face because it was ROCKED clean off my body. For reals.
The next cool thing I noticed was France’s version of a McDonald’s. It’s called…..wait for it……….wait for it…………..Quality Burger Restaurant. Yes, you read that correctly, the Quality Burger Restaurant. 
Cavalcade of Awesome 
