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15 more things I’ve learned about life while watching movies and TV

Posted in hollywood life lessons, humor, movies, pop culture, TV shows with tags hollywood life lessons, movies, pop culture, TV shows on February 8, 2011 by Paxton

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In March 2010, I posted a list of 17 things I learned about life while watching movies and TV shows. It was extremely popular. It got picked up by WordPress.com and posted on the front page. It’s still one of my most popular articles. So, I thought, why not write a sequel?

And here that sequel is. 15 more things I’ve learned about life while watching movies and television.

When fighting, before punching or delivering a kick, make sure your opponent is standing in front of some breakable object. A wooden wall or glass table or shelving, for example. That way if you miss striking your opponent, you’ll shatter/break the object behind which, while it doesn’t help you in the fight, looks badass. Don’t worry, the object will shatter, not the bones in your hand.

When men take off a necklace, they don’t bother with the latch, they just tear it off. Probably because the latch is broken from the last time they yanked it off their neck. When they give the necklace to a lady, she is able to fasten it around her neck despite it being torn off previously.

If you need to know something, turn on the TV. The channel will automatically be turned to the news and it will be showing the exact news story with the exact information you need. If a friend called to tell you to watch the news, no need to hurry to turn on the TV, the newscaster will repeat exactly what they just said before you turned it on.

All building ventilation systems, air ducts and vents are built big enough to accommodate the size and weight of one or more adults. It’s in the building code.

Land developers routinely build houses on top of ancient Indian burial grounds (or old murder sites, places of spiritual importance, etc). However, the building of the houses don’t seem to upset the spirits, as the ghosts will not decide to violently manifest until after a new owner with a nice happy family has purchased it.

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The Cavalcade takes a look at the 2010 Oscar Nominations

Posted in Academy Awards, movies, Oscars with tags Academy Awards, movies, Oscars, Oscars Wild on February 1, 2011 by Paxton

This is what I wait all year for. The reason I saw 50+ movies last year. The Oscar nominations.

I’ve been doing this review of the Oscar nominations for about 5 years now. Check out my Oscar nomination reviews from 2010, 2009, 2008 and 2007. I’ve clearly shown that I know more than the Academy. So let’s see what I think of the nominations this year. I’m only going to look at the “money” categories because no one really cares about sound mixing unless they are actually a sound mixer.

Best Actor
Javier Bardem in “Biutiful” (Roadside Attractions) – Dammit. Where the f**k did this movie come from? I saw 50+ movies last year and I’ve never heard of this.
Jeff Bridges in “True Grit” (Paramount) – Yes. Agreed. Well done.
Jesse Eisenberg in “The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing) – Just watched this. It deserves all the praise it’s getting.
Colin Firth in “The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company) – This is one of those I know I should see and my wife will want to see, but I’m like…”I’ll pass.”
James Franco in “127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight) – Apparently this movie is NOT a prequel to the 1993 Renny Harlin classic, Cliffhanger, starring Sylvester Stallone. And Franco does NOT play a younger version of Sly’s Gabe “Mountain” Walker. I don’t know about you, but that adjusts my expectations to somewhere below…zero.

Supporting Actor
Christian Bale in “The Fighter” (Paramount) – I didn’t like this the first time when it was called The Wrestler.
John Hawkes in “Winter’s Bone” (Roadside Attractions) – I totally thought this was porn when I first read the title. I was like, “Go Academy!” Nope. It’s about a small girl who searches for her druggie dad who put the family trailer up for his bail. Sounds all lovely and depressing. My friend Dr Mike’s wife will love it.
Jeremy Renner in “The Town” (Warner Bros.) – Yes, I couldn’t agree more. This movie is great and Renner is fantastic in it.
Mark Ruffalo in “The Kids Are All Right” (Focus Features) – So both Hawkeye (Renner) and The Incredible Hulk (Ruffalo) from the upcoming Avengers movie are nominated for Supporting Actor awards. That’s pretty awesome. Oh, and Batman. Forgot Bale was up there too.
Geoffrey Rush in “The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company) – This movie got a lot of nominations. I know my wife is going to want to watch it.

Best Actress
Annette Bening in “The Kids Are All Right” (Focus Features) – Lesbian couple, raising teenagers, Oscar noms, blah, blah, blah.
Nicole Kidman in “Rabbit Hole” (Lionsgate) – A couple’s son dies, they drift apart. The Academy loves these depressing dramas.
Jennifer Lawrence in “Winter’s Bone” (Roadside Attractions) – Kid searches for trailer park druggie dad. Not porn. Touching.
Natalie Portman in “Black Swan” (Fox Searchlight) – Lots of angry lesbian sex between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. Of course I want to see this. Too bad it was filmed by Darren Arnofsky who totally ruined similar sex scenes with Jennifer Connelly in Requiem for a Dream.
Michelle Williams in “Blue Valentine” (The Weinstein Company) – Supposedly a very sexy picture. However, I don’t think I would agree because Michelle Williams is not sexy.

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Awesomeness Elsewhere – Jan 28, 2011

Posted in 80s, blogging, movies, nostalgia, personal with tags blogging, nostalgia, personal on January 28, 2011 by Paxton

Hello everyone. It’s Friday. TGIF. I just want to catch you up on my activities elsewhere.

— I wrote a nostalgia piece today over at Strange Kid’s Club. I answer the question, “What Makes You a Strange Kid?” It involves Back to the Future, my dad and the Birmingham radio station I-95. Check it out here.

— I also wrote my weekly DVD column. I’m getting some really good feedback on it. If you want to know what to buy this week in DVD/Blu-Ray, then check out this week’s On The Shelves.

Stay tuned, next week I’m going to put up my yearly review of the Oscar nominations. Should be a blast watching me completely second guess the Academy. Did they get it right this year? Come back Monday or Tuesday to find out.

Have a good weekend.

More fun with my camera phone

Posted in camera phone, cell phones, random, technology with tags Apple, cell phones, iPhone, photos, random, technology on January 27, 2011 by Paxton

I bought my first camera phone back in 2006. It was the original Motorola Razr V3. It was pretty cool being able to snap pics of stuff I came across at any given moment. So, in December of that same year, I wrote an article that took a look at some of the random photos I had taken with my phone. One of my blogging/Twitter buddies Trish just posted a very similar article and it got me thinking that I want to do it again. It has been 4 years. Plus, I have a much better phone now, the iPhone.

So, I’m going to delve into my cell phone photos and see what randomness I can come up with. Here we go.

Croc Lobster
I found this odd statue outside a restaurant in the French Quarter in New Orleans. I call it “Croc-Lobster” (get it?…The B-52’s song?…hello?). I find myself completely fascinated by the idea of a Croc-Lobster. This needs to be a monster that fights Godzilla. NOW.

Before the baby, my wife was an elementary school teacher. So she had these alphabet letter cards up on the walls of her classroom. I took pics of the letters P, A and X (because it’s my name, duh) and texted them to my brother. It looks silly now that I’m looking at it but that’s the stuff my brother and I text to each other.

Knight Industries truck
I got so excited when I saw this truck. I have to wonder if a black Firebird named KITT was inside as this is very similar to the truck that transports that awesome car in the show Knight Rider. Even the logo is similar.

Went to Charleston, SC a few years ago with some friends. In the middle of the night, drunk and hungry, we wound up in a small Mexican restaurant in the middle of downtown. Featured on the menu was this unbelievable site, The Margarona. A frozen margarita served with a full bottle of Corona turned upside down into it. It never even occurred to me to try something like this. My mind can now be considered BLOWN. For some reason, they wouldn’t serve it at 2am, which seems to me to be the only time someone would order it.

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Awesomeness Elsewhere – Jan 21, 2011

Posted in blogging, movies with tags blogging, movies on January 21, 2011 by Paxton

Each Friday I’ll try to keep you up to date on some of the goings on for me around the Internets. In case you didn’t remember I also write columns for Strange Kids Club and I run a vintage movie advertisement blog called Held Over!

– This week in my Strange Kids Club column, Forgotten Favorites, I talk about the 1982 teen comedy Zapped! starring Scott Baio, Willie Aames and Heather Thomas’ breasts. I also looked at an ad for Zapped over on Held Over.

– All this week on Held Over I looked at 4 other ads (besides Zapped!) for 1980s teen sex comedies like Porky’s and Fast Times at Ridgmont High. Head on over there to see them. My personal favorite was the ad for the movie Joy Stick.

– Also on Strange Kids Club I posted my weekly look at DVD/Blu-Ray releases for Jan 18 in my column On The Shelves. See me talk about Takers, Death Race 2 and Justified.

Go forth, check out the awesomeness and I’ll see you back here.

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