Archive for the pop culture Category

Ninja Day!

Posted in Ask a Ninja, holiday, humor, Ninja Day, ninjas with tags , on December 5, 2006 by Paxton

Ninja Day Banner

Today, December 5, is officially the Day of the Ninja.


Above is an orientation video for nonjas (or non-ninjas) about the origins of Ninja Day.

In light of the fact that it’s the Day of the Ninja I want to reveal a secret I’ve long held from the people I love. I too am a part of the Dark Brotherhood (no, not the NAACP). I am ninja. I have never revealed this to anyone before.

After an assignment where I’ve killed 30 people with deadly efficiency who have no idea I’m even in the room, I want to be able to tell the people I care about. It’s hard to kill like that. It takes serious concentration, nerves of steel and a little bit of duct tape.

Now that you know that I am ninja, many of you will be scared to talk to me. That’s okay. I understand. Don’t be intimidated by the fact that while talking to you, I’ve instantly come up with at least 75 ways to kill you where you stand using only my steely wits and a shrimp puff I got from the appetizer plate. It’s just what I do. And don’t be unnerved if I just disappear in the middle of a conversation, leaving no trace I was ever there. I’ve just taken a quick break to go kill someone. I’ll be right back to finish whatever discussion we were having, unless, of course, it is you I plan on killing. When I do return, and you are not the one that is dead, ask no questions and pretend I never left. Also, when engaging me in conversation, it would be beneficial to not use any quick or threatening gestures. Sometimes my instincts will kick in and next thing you know I’m standing in a room full of bloody corpses not remembering the awesome, awesome ninja killing that just occurred. You want to talk about a buzz-kill?

It’s just the risks of doing business with a ninja.

So when you see me, just act natural and you won’t have to die.

So how can nonjas celebrate Ninja Day? It’s easy, just act all sneaky and ninja-like. Creep up on a coworker, slit his throat with a paper clip. Maybe you could drop down silently from the ceiling and decapitate your manager. There’s many things nonjas can do to celebrate the random and efficient killing of a ninja. Be creative.

Remember, we are watching.

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Misunderstood: The Saga of New Coke Part III

Posted in Coca Cola, food, New Coke, nostalgia, pop culture, soda with tags , , , , , , on October 30, 2006 by Paxton

Sodapalooza

Happy Monday, people! Before I present to you the final engrossing chapter of New Coke, I thought I’d pass along a fun little news article about fried Coke (pictured left). Apparently an enterprising man by the name of Abel Gonzales, Jr. created a recipe that uses Coca-Cola syrup mixed into a funnel cake batter that’s deep fried and served with syrup and cherries on top. Wow. Nice. My wife and I always talk about how, in the South, they fry everything, including the Iced Tea. Maybe we should amend that to Coke? A completely Southern idea, fried Coke brings us one step closer to this. Consider me in love.

Anywho, on to the matter at hand. If you missed Part I or Part II of this article just click the appropriate link. Otherwise continue reading and see the exciting conclusion to the New Coke story.

After the fallout from New Coke’s disastrous introduction, Coke had a big problem. How do they market two Cokes? Coke Classic didn’t need any marketing as the brand now sold itself, but what about New Coke? It could no longer use the slogan “The Best Just Got Better”, so, what to do? Coke decided to market New Coke to their lowest performing demographic, kids and teens. Ads for Coke included Max Headroom in fast talking commercials berating Pepsi for lack of originality. These ads did fairly well and were well recognized, but sales of New Coke couldn’t recover from the beating the drink got over the summer. The writing was on the wall for New Coke.

In 1992, New Coke was re-branded Coke II in hopes that it might refresh interest. It didn’t and by 2002, the drink was pretty much eliminated from all but the smallest markets. Supposedly, Coke II can still be found in stores and vending machines in smaller markets like Micronesia and American Samoa. Though New Coke is considered near dead, it will never truly die. CEO Goizueta still preferred New Coke so he continued to have it produced for his own consumption until right before his death. You only have to mention New Coke to somebody and they immediately know what you are talking about. It’s not just a drink anymore, New Coke refers to a mistake so disastrous, one may never recover. It’s part of the pop culture lexicon.

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Misunderstood: The Saga of New Coke Part II

Posted in Coca Cola, food, New Coke, nostalgia, pop culture, soda with tags , , , , , , on October 27, 2006 by Paxton

Sodapalooza

Welcome to Part II of The Saga of New Coke. If you missed Part I, then just click here. When you are all caught up, then continue reading for the exciting second part of our story. Like last time, check out the classic soda commercials at the end of today’s installment.

On April 23, 1985 the Coca-Cola Company announced its intentions to introduce a brand new, reformulated Coca-Cola to the American public, dubbed Coke, and the systematic phasing out of the original formula. The new slogan was, “The Best Just Got Better”. What should have been a glorious day about Coke came up flat, so to speak. Coca-Cola CEO Robert Goizueta was ill-prepared for an event like Coke’s giant press conference and didn’t handle the media’s probing questions very well. When asked about New Coke’s flavor, he simply responded, “[It’s] smoother, uh, uh, yet, uh, rounder yet, uh, bolder … it has a more harmonious flavor.” In reality, the formula change made original Coke taste more like Pepsi, and made it a true full-calorie version of Diet Coke. Due to Goizueta’s lack of poise, all who attended that press release left with much doubt about the prospects of Coke’s new flavor, which, not surprisingly, would affect the news stories written about New Coke in its first 30 days.
That New Coke was a complete failure from day one is the common misconception. By and large, people really liked the new formulation and continued buying Coke in their usual amounts. Where the discourse began was in the Southeast, where Coke was originally formulated and sold back in the late 1800s. People were reacting to the fact that Coke was changed, not to the bad taste of New Coke. Most of the protestors didn’t even drink soda, much less Coke; they just didn’t like the idea of Coke changing something that apparently meant something to them. The interesting thing is, if Coke, before the change, would have meant enough to these people to buy it, then the company wouldn’t have changed the formula in the first place. It’s your classic Catch-22. Due to the extremely vocal minority, it became “chic” to bash New Coke. Protestors were so vocal about not liking New Coke that anyone who did like the new formula would be scared to say so. These “coke crazies” as I call them, formed a group called Old Cola Drinkers of America which lobbied The Coca Cola Company to reintroduce the original formula. They even tried to levy a class action lawsuit against Coke (wha-huh?!) but the case was thrown out by a judge (sometimes the legal system works). People continued to be so outraged at the new formula that they were trying to obtain cases of original Coca-Cola from overseas as New Coke had not been introduced over there yet. The Coca-Cola Company was at a loss for the huge debacle they had created for themselves.

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Misunderstood: The Saga of New Coke Part I

Posted in Coca Cola, food, New Coke, nostalgia, pop culture, soda with tags , , , , , , on October 23, 2006 by Paxton

Sodapalooza

I love soda. I mean, I REALLY love soda. It’s almost an unnatural love…..a forbidden love, if you will. Due to this, I’ve been fascinated for years by the cola wars between Coke and Pepsi. My formative years were right in the middle of the ‘80s; the Vietnam of the cola wars. During the 1980s, Coke and Pepsi threw out more gimmicks than a used car salesman trying to hawk his wares during a “Sales Event”. It was a soda lovers’ nirvana (and I don’t mean the alternative rock band). One of the more infamous ploys of this period was the introduction of New Coke. Never has a company’s promotion and decision making been so thoroughly bitch-slapped by the American public. It was embarrassing, and, in my opinion, a complete over-reaction. In this three part article, we will look at the saga of New Coke, from inception all the way to the bloody aftermath and what Coke gained or lost by their gamble. I’ll even ponder if New Coke might actually still be on the shelves…but under a different name, and at the end of each article (including this one) I’ll provide links to classic Coke and Pepsi commercials. So punch 1983 into the flux capacitor and let’s get this bitch up to 88 miles an hour because our story starts, not with New Coke…………but Diet Coke.

1983 was a tough year for Coca-Cola. For decades, Coca-Cola had been the preferred soft drink in America, but market research had proven that consumers in the early ‘80s preferred sodas with a sweeter taste than traditional Coca-Cola. Most sodas at this time were using aspartame or a similar, cheaper sweetener to flavor their drinks while Coke continued to use cane sugar or another sweetener very similar to cane sugar. Also at the time, diet drinks were becoming extremely popular as more and more people were becoming aware of the high amount of calories found in Coke, Pepsi and other soft drinks. Diet Pepsi was the current king of the low calorie, artificially sweetened soda. Years before, Coke released its own diet drink, TaB, but refused to market it as Coca-Cola because they did not want to dilute the Coca-Cola brand with more drinks, but, in essence, TaB was Diet Coke. No matter what Coke did, though, they continued to lose market share to Pepsi and they decided something had to be done about it.

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Bring On Halloween!

Posted in Halloween, holiday, pop culture, reviews with tags , , , , , on September 15, 2006 by Paxton

Awesometoberfest banner

I have been in a very Halloweeny mood lately (haha…I said weeny!). Part of it started by reading X-Entertainment’s Halloween Countdown. Each weekday leading up to Halloween night Matt reviews fun Halloween items like scary masks, food items and movies. It’s a ton of fun.

Like Matt, I also love when stores start preparing for the Halloween buying season and put out all their goulish wares. The decorations and varieties of Halloween themed candy always make stores look cool. I especially love it when regular food, candy or drinks change things up and start offering Halloween-specific offerings. Cool items from years past include Mountain Dew Pitch Black, the Jones Soda Halloween Collection and Halloween themed Kool-Aid called Ghoul-Aid. Actually, one of X-Entertainment’s favorite things to review are the yearly Halloween offerings of Kid Cuisine microwave meals.

So, needless to say, all of this is putting me in the Halloween mood, and it’s not even October yet. Despite that, I found a cool Halloween drink the other day at my local Winn-Dixie and thought I’d share it with you. Feast your eyes below to the terrifying visage of Tropicana Twisters’ two scary flavors, Green Ghost and Midnight Storm!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Tropicana Twisters are a very flavorful drink, but usually they are a mixture of two or more juice flavors, hence the moniker TWISTERS. For some reason the “suits” decided to eschew the “two juices twisted into one” idea and are presenting these twisters as solitary flavors; Sour Apple and Grape Thunder. If you are thinking of getting these, be prepared, it’s like drinking a truckload of flavored sugar. Very, VERY sweet. The apple and grape flavors are good, but the overall results are like a sugar baseball bat to the tastebuds. The packaging is cool though. And what scary sidedish am I enjoying this afternoon with my creepy sugary juicy liquidy goodness? Why, it’s M&Ms Pumpkin Mix!!!

These M&Ms come in orange and black and have cute little jack-o-lantern (or pumpkin) faces on them. They are also filled with peanut butter, not chocolate.

So now that I’ve made myself sick on apple flavored sugar syrup and peanut butter hard candies, I think I’ll adjourn for the day.

Actually, tomorrow morning my wife and I will be leaving for Tampa to board a cruise ship headed to the Western Caribbean. All next week my ass will be drinking umbrella drinks and hanging out with butt-naked freaks. Don’t worry, I’ll be back, I know you’ll miss me. 😉

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