Archive for the Ask a Ninja Category

Ninja Day!

Posted in Ask a Ninja, holiday, humor, Ninja Day, ninjas with tags , on December 5, 2006 by Paxton

Ninja Day Banner

Today, December 5, is officially the Day of the Ninja.

Above is an orientation video for nonjas (or non-ninjas) about the origins of Ninja Day.

In light of the fact that it’s the Day of the Ninja I want to reveal a secret I’ve long held from the people I love. I too am a part of the Dark Brotherhood (no, not the NAACP). I am ninja. I have never revealed this to anyone before.

After an assignment where I’ve killed 30 people with deadly efficiency who have no idea I’m even in the room, I want to be able to tell the people I care about. It’s hard to kill like that. It takes serious concentration, nerves of steel and a little bit of duct tape.

Now that you know that I am ninja, many of you will be scared to talk to me. That’s okay. I understand. Don’t be intimidated by the fact that while talking to you, I’ve instantly come up with at least 75 ways to kill you where you stand using only my steely wits and a shrimp puff I got from the appetizer plate. It’s just what I do. And don’t be unnerved if I just disappear in the middle of a conversation, leaving no trace I was ever there. I’ve just taken a quick break to go kill someone. I’ll be right back to finish whatever discussion we were having, unless, of course, it is you I plan on killing. When I do return, and you are not the one that is dead, ask no questions and pretend I never left. Also, when engaging me in conversation, it would be beneficial to not use any quick or threatening gestures. Sometimes my instincts will kick in and next thing you know I’m standing in a room full of bloody corpses not remembering the awesome, awesome ninja killing that just occurred. You want to talk about a buzz-kill?

It’s just the risks of doing business with a ninja.

So when you see me, just act natural and you won’t have to die.

So how can nonjas celebrate Ninja Day? It’s easy, just act all sneaky and ninja-like. Creep up on a coworker, slit his throat with a paper clip. Maybe you could drop down silently from the ceiling and decapitate your manager. There’s many things nonjas can do to celebrate the random and efficient killing of a ninja. Be creative.

Remember, we are watching.

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‘Ask A Ninja’ Podcasts are Killers!

Posted in Ask a Ninja, humor, internet, ninjas with tags , , , on June 20, 2006 by Paxton

I discovered a podcast on YouTube last week that has me on the floor it is so damn funny. It’s called Ask A Ninja. It’s this guy dressed up in a ninja outfit supposedly answering questions from people about ninjas. It is hilarious. You can go to the podcast’s website here to download/watch all the videos or just watch them all on YouTube here.

The Ninja covers topics such as Love, Excuses, The Matrix, Pickup Lines, Ninja Conventions (KillaCon), etc. The guy is so funny and the theme song is addicting. I’ve had it in my head for a week.

Check some of them out, I hope they bring you as much enjoyment as they have me.

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