Archive for the food Category

Chairman of Hooters Restaurants Found Dead

Posted in food, Hooters, humor, pop culture with tags , , on July 17, 2006 by Paxton

Robert Brooks, Chairman of Hooters Restaurants, was found dead yesterday of unknown causes. He was 69. An autopsy will be performed on Monday to determine cause of death.

I wanted to take a moment in remembrance for a good man, nay, a GREAT man. This man was a people pleaser. He knew people wanted a place to eat good wings. DONE. He knew people wanted it to be a casual place the whole family could enjoy. DONE. He knew people wanted a place where you can watch sports, drink a beer and watch scantily clad high-schoolers prance around like its 1972 in the Playboy Mansion grotto. DONE and DONE.

Please take a moment to remember this great man. Ladies, let the twins hang at half mast for a man that only wanted to glorify the beauty of the female body. Not unlike Isaac Newton or Jim Henson before him, he was a true visionary and he will be missed.

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Windex Kool-Aid: Wha-HUH?!

Posted in food, humor, Kool Aid, Photoshop, random with tags , , on June 6, 2006 by Paxton

Here’s another creation from the PaxNet Kool-Aid labs. You may be thinking, “Pax, why the hell did you pick Windex?” Well, it wasn’t just a random, out-of-my-ass creation. It does have a history, though. Check it:

Kool-Aid’s Berry Blue was introduced in the late ’80s. There was a huge media blitz and push for the flavor. Pretty soon parents started complaining that the flavor looked too much like windshield wiper fluid and/or Windex. They were afraid that kids would be confused and mistake the two. Apparently these parents keep their wiper fluid and Windex in the fridge next to the juice. WTF?! So, according to urban legend, Kool-Aid pulled the flavor in order to avoid massive lawsuits from crazy-ass parents.

Well, Berry Blue is back and you can buy it in stores. Let me tell you, it is tasty…and BLUE. Like really blue. Radiation blue. It’s almost scary.

I thought I would create the flavor Kool-Aid almost did, but didn’t.

And there was much rejoicing.

Check out all my other creative, and completely made up, Kool-Aid creations here.

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Ice Cream Cones flavored Kool-Aid!!

Posted in ice cream, Kool Aid, Photoshop, pop culture with tags , , on April 10, 2006 by Paxton

That’s right, my friends. Another creation from the PaxNet labs. Kool-Aid flavored like Ice Cream Cones cereal.

Don’t ever say that I can’t bring it.

Check out all my other creative, and completely made up, Kool-Aid creations here.

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Cheetos flavored Kool-Aid…Dangerously Cheesy!

Posted in food, humor, Kool Aid, Photoshop, pop culture with tags , , , on March 29, 2006 by Paxton

Here’s another custom Kool-Aid flavor I created. Based on my favorite snack food. Click the image for a slightly larger pic.

Check out all my other creative, and completely made up, Kool-Aid creations here.

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Buy a box of cookes…lose your soul

Posted in Girl Scout Cookies, humor, personal, random with tags , , on March 14, 2006 by Paxton


I am glad the whole Girl Scout cookie ‘sales extravaganza’ is over. Seriously. They were pimping those things out like crack rock. I’d go to the grocery store, there are two adults and their kids asking me to buy cookies. I walk THREE STORES TO THE RIGHT to go to Blockbuster Video and there are two more adults and kids asking me to buy cookies. How many places am I going to be harrassed to buy cookies? They are like the mafia. I felt like if I didn’t buy at least a box some guy named Vinnie was gonna kneecap me. It got so bad I almost started shopping exclusively at adult bookstores just so I wouldn’t see a little girl outside trying to shake me down for some cookies. And I’m not sure how much longer adult bookstores will be safe.

“Hey sailor, looking for a good time? Buy a box of Trefoils and see where the night takes you.”

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