Paxton

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Wrecking someone else’s journal

Posted in books, humor, journals, personal with tags books, personal on September 19, 2008 by Paxton

Okay, it’s been a long week. I would have had this blog article done a few days ago but the monitor on my laptop died on me. Add to that fact that work has been really busy and the outcome is that Pax can’t finish his blog articles on time. Right now I’m having to write this blog “guerilla style” while at work. Not a problem for me because, as you know, I’m a ninja, but it’s annoying nonetheless.

So I was talking with my friend Debi at work and she whips out this kick ass book she’s been working on called Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith. It has tasks for you to do on each page that involve somehow wrecking the journal. It’s pretty cool, here’s the cover.

You get to do some crazy, random things to the book like taking a shower with it, mailing it to someone, chew on a page, glue office supplies to a page and many others. I found some sample pages on Amazon.

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My iPhone can now kill hookers, travel through time

Posted in Apple, cell phones, humor, iPhone, pop culture, technology with tags Apple, humor, iPhone, technology on September 12, 2008 by Paxton

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, “If Pax writes any more about his stupid iPhone I’m going to cut him with the prison shank I keep in my bathroom toilet.” Well, maybe you’re not thinking of that specifically, because, as my wife just informed me, not everyone has a prison shank hidden in their toilet tank (which is crazy, because you should have one. Seriously). All physical threats of violence to the side, I am in fact going to talk about my supremely awesome iPhone again. If you got a got a problem with it, you can meet me on the corner of Shut and The Hell Up. I’ll be the guy stabbing people with a wet prison shank named Skip. Yes, his name is Skip. He likes action movies, listening to AC/DC, and shanking people in the gut. Come up, say hi and he’ll shank you in the gut.

For those that don’t want to die, I thought I’d talk a little bit about applications you can download for your iPhone. Ever since Apple let third party developers design mini-applications (aka apps) for the iPhone that get distributed on iTunes, many cool and interesting games and productivity apps have shown up. As good as these apps are, they don’t cover every circumstance you find yourself in. What if some A-hole cuts you off in traffic and giving the guy “the finger” just won’t cut it? Or what if the hooker you are seeing threatens to go to your wife? The iPhone can’t help you in either situation, bro. However, I’ve designed a few apps that may give you the upper hand should you find yourself in one of the above “less than ideal” situations.

If you thought the iPhone was awesome before, my new “Cavalcade of Awesome” apps make the iPhone so ridiculously kick-ass it may bend the fabric of reality itself. You could be talking on your iPhone, set off one of my apps, then find yourself in another dimension. My stuff is that good. Be careful though, I was testing some of my applications and next thing I know I was in a battle arena on Cylus 3 facing the nose tusk of a Snaarlak beast. Let me tell you, a Snaarlak beast makes a Chnultha serpent look like a baby Greeb. My situation escalated quickly and I had to use the Cavalcade of Awesome apps to their full extent. I’m lucky to be typing this article today.

So let’s take a look at a few of my new apps.

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Odds ‘n Ends from the last two weeks

Posted in books, humor, personal, random with tags books, fast food, IHOP, Moleskine, personal on September 5, 2008 by Paxton

Yeah, so I missed another week last week. Crap, I don’t know how that happened. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue….or did I? Seriously, I did pick the wrong week.

Had a lot going on this past week. We went up to Columbia, SC to visit friends Kathy and Himal who have chosen to live up there as they finish their PhDs. We had a blast. They were able to procure us invites to an “insider’s only” party at a place called Jillian’s. It featured free beers and appetizers from 7 to 9pm. Needless to say, we came, we drank, we danced the Cupid Shuffle. It was a grand old time. We finished the evening by stumbling our party-ed out selves over two blocks to the IHop. What was cool, was that the IHOP was housed in the old A-frame architecture that the franchise had back in the ’80s.

A-frame IHOP

I hadn’t seen an A-frame IHOP in years. There used to be one in Birmingham, AL for the longest time but it was converted into a car wash or something.

So that was a blast. What else happened, oh Auburn beat Louisiana-Monroe. It wasn’t the pass-happy offense everyone expected, but I’m hoping that they held back a bit because Louisiana-Monroe wasn’t the strongest of opponents.

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New Mountain Dew flavor decided by the people; And the people, are wrong!

Posted in Mountain Dew, Pepsi, pop culture, retail, soda, websites with tags Mountain Dew, Pepsi, soda, sodapalooza on August 22, 2008 by Paxton

I’m sure everyone by now has tried the three test flavors of Mt Dew; Supernova, Revolution and Voltage. I mentioned them at the bottom of an article back in May. Pepsi released the three flavors and promoted a contest where people would try all three flavors and then vote for their favorite. Each flavor was designed based on people logging into the Dewmocracy website, playing a game, and deciding what types of flavor extensions they would like to see. After testing the flavors, the people would log back into Dewmocracy.com and vote for their favorite. Well the flavor battle was waged and it was a tough battle indeed. Since the people would decide the outcome, propaganda and campaign posters and images promoting certain flavors were put up everywhere.

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I got an iPhone 3G — I just became even more awesome

Posted in Apple, iPhone, personal, pop culture, reviews, technology with tags Apple, humor, iPhone, technology on August 18, 2008 by Paxton

That’s right, people. AT&T finally acquiesced and gave me my birthright; the iPhone 3G! I wrote about my personal comedy of errors trying to get an iPhone 3G last month, but all of that is now moot. I have the small piece of electronic Valhalla right here in my sweaty, awesome little hands. And let me tell you, this thing is AWESOME. You know me, you know I don’t own, consort with or marry anything that isn’t just flat out awesome. It’s just how I live my life. I’ve dedicated myself to all things awesome, and this little phone may be the most awesome thing I have ever seen and I don’t throw around hyperbole like that every day (well, actually, I do, but this time it’s for reals).

I’ve had MONTHS to build up my anticipation for this phone. I was given money on my birthday way back in May (nearly 3 months ago!) to buy this thing and I’ve been obstructed in my purchase every step of the way. The first obstruction was that Apple took most iPhones off the shelves in May in preparation for the release of iPhone 3G. Next, the release date was set for July 11. I went in to my local AT&T store ready to upgrade and found out that my current plan wouldn’t let me upgrade until August 9. You should remember this graphic:

It was agonizing waiting until August 9th. However, on the day of August 9th, I was in Columbus, OH, so I couldn’t really order it then (there was a 7 day wait). I didn’t get back to Jax until late on Sunday and AT&T was closed an hour before I could get there (closed at 6pm on a Sunday?! WTF, are they a bank?!). It was like some higher power didn’t want me to have an iPhone, something I’ve come to believe is my destiny. Why, you ask, would a higher power not want me to have an iPhone? It’s not hard to figure out. The iPhone is super-awesome. No one denies that. I myself am also super-awesome. Who can refute that? It’s like the iPhone is an electronic version of myself (We are both awesome and very portable). The combination of our mutal awesomeness might be too much for the fabric of the space-time continuum and send the entire universe into a backspin leading to the destruction of all mankind (this is just a theory, mind you). So despite all of these odds against me, I perservered and got my iPhone 3G. You know, the Lifetime network should contact me about making my experience getting an iPhone a movie of the week. It’s pretty damn inspiring.

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