Archive for movies

The Movie Board: Worst movies of 2009

Posted in Academy Awards, movies, Oscars, reviews with tags , , , , , on January 13, 2010 by Paxton

Movie Board

Okay, on Tuesday, you saw my favorite movies of 2009. These were all the movies I really enjoyed and will probably watch multiple times. Now, it’s time to look at what I think were the worst movies of 2009.

What makes a bad movie for me, for the most part, is disappointment because of expectations. I expect to really enjoy the movie because of a funny trailer or an interesting story and the movie doesn’t live up to those expectations. Those are the movies that go on this list. There are movies like Crank or Fast & Furious that you would expect to be on here, but let’s be honest, those movies are supposed to be bad. They are awful for a reason. Plus they are fun-awful, not awful-awful.

Before we get started, take a look back at previous years’ lists with my worst movies of 2007 and my worst movies of 2008 articles.

So here are the movies I was most disappointed with this year. Honestly, I could only come up with four. I really had a hard time putting together this list. There were a lot of good movies this year.  Here are the movies I really didn’t like.

Men Who Stare At Goats
Men Who Stare At Goats – This was a very disappointing movie for me. The trailer was awesome, however they pretty much showed every single punchline for every single funny scene in the trailer. EVERY SINGLE ONE. The rest of the movie was an awkwardly quirky ride that was neither funny nor interesting.  So by the time I saw the movie, every funny event was spoiled and that made me not care about the rest of the movie.  So many good actors, so much wasted potential.  And, to whomever cut the trailer, thank you for ruining this movie for me, d-bag.

Gamer
Gamer – This movie had so much promise.  Gerard Butler as a prisoner fighting in some type of corporate war games run by Michael C Hall? Oh, and Gerard Butler is being controlled remotely by a video game user played by the kid who’s going to be the lead in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians movie? Yes, please. However this movie BLEW. It was weird, there wasn’t enough action or humor and the mechanics of the video war games Gerard Butler’s character participates in came and went depending on what was needed in the story. Michael C Hall was good but his character was off the charts weird. This was just a bad movie based on a very solid premise.

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The Movie Board: My favorite movies of 2009

Posted in Academy Awards, movies, Oscars, reviews, sequels, Star Trek with tags , , , , , , on January 12, 2010 by Paxton

Movie Board

Okay, everyone. We are finally here. We are at the point where I glance up at my 2009 Movie Board and try to figure out what were my favorite movies of 2009. For those scoring at home, here’s the Movie Board for this year:

Movie Board 2009

As you can see, I saw 53 movies that were released in 2009 (and therefore are eligible for the Oscars).  Some of those movies were in the theater (the majority of them, actually) and some were at home on Blu-Ray.  That’s 4.42 movies per month. Up from last year. Also, I was able to top 50 movies for the first time since 2007. So, I’m excited about that.  Last year my total was 49, so I was a bit irked I didn’t make it.  This year, I’m back, baby!

For those just joining us this year, or for those that like reliving the past, check out my favorite movie picks in my Movie Board articles for 2007 and 2008.  I myself like to look back every year before I write this article, just to get in the movie pickin’ mood.

This was a really good year for movies. I saw a metric TON of good flicks in 2009.  I really had a hard time getting this list down to my favorite movies of the year.  As usual, I’m just picking my favorite five.  My own personal “best” list.  You may agree, you may disagree.  Regardless, I’m right, so pipe down and prepare to be told what 5 movies rocked my world this year.

Okay, 2009 movies, let’s do this.

Star Trek 2009
Star Trek – Blew my ass away. I’d take a picture of my ass to prove it to you, but you wouldn’t see anything but a blank space, because it was BLOWN AWAY.  I saw this movie twice in theaters because I had my ass kicked so incredibly hard the first time, I had to go back to be sure it wasn’t an illusion.  And it wasn’t.  I laughed and cried (yes, I f’n cried) at all the exact same spots on both viewings.  Then, my dad gave me the movie for Xmas and I watched it again on Blu-Ray and was reduced to a blubbering, laughing mess for a THIRD TIME.  THIS MOVIE IS FANTASTIC.  I can’t place this movie high enough on the list to get across how much I love this movie.  JJ Abrams gets it.  Orci and Kurtzman get it.  The actors get it.  This movie was Star Trek, warts and all.  I know some people were bitching about the plot holes and time travel, but I invite those haters to SHUT THEIR CHEETOS HOLES.  If you have watched any of the original series episodes from the ’60s (which I’ve been doing) then this movie fits right in.  I put this movie up there with Wrath of Khan and Undiscovered Country as my favorite Star Trek movie.  I balled when George Kirk died.  I laughed and pumped my fist when Kirk beats the Kobayashi-Maru.  I marveled at the final battle with Nero.  I couldn’t have asked for a better Star Trek movie.  PERIOD.  Best.  Movie.  This.  Year.  Take that to the bank, haters.

District 9
District 9 – I read a lot of the press for this movie before it opened.  A small sci-fi film from South Africa produced by Peter Jackson and written/directed by a little known but talented guy named Neill Blomkamp.  I knew most of the movie is done in a mock documentary style about aliens that have come to Earth.  That’s about all I knew, but it looked like a really clever idea and I was excited to see it.  I had no idea what I was in for.  Fantastic.  This movie blends CGI, practical effects and live action in an unbelievably seamless way.  The aliens are all CGI, but they are REAL.  This is no Jar Jar Binks, my friends.  Also, even though it’s only used for the first 2/3 of the movie, the mockumentary structure really works.  This is just a wonderful sci-fi movie.  Some of the movie review guys on the Internets that I respect even put this in their best of the year.  Devin over at CHUD put it #4 in his top 15 of the year and both Massawyrm and Harry Knowles over at Aint It Cool News put it #1 on their lists.  I absolutely agree.  This movie deserves to be seen.  It’s awesome.  I can’t recommend it enough.  Hopefully we’ll see a nomination for Special Effects as well as Best Screenplay (fingers crossed).

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Dragging Ass this week + funny videos

Posted in Back to the Future, movies, random with tags , , , on January 8, 2010 by Paxton

Dude, I’ve totally dragged ass this week on writing a post. I was supposed to put up my Best and Worst movies of 2009 but I just didn’t get around to finishing them. I’ve also got another article reviewing original series Star Trek episodes that I could write, but I just haven’t. Or an article about a great book series I just finished on Tuesday.  Any of these could have (nay, should have) been your article for this week, but I just decided to do what my friend Steve and I always did in college.  I called it a “personal week”.  Meaning I didn’t do s**t.

So, to tide everyone over, I’m going to show you two funny videos I’ve found around the net.  Sorta keep you entertained.  I fully intend to thrust into your consciousness my best/worst movie lists for 2009, so prepare for that.  Until then, laugh along with these funny and insane videos.


Everyone here knows my love of the Back to the Future trilogy. Well Tom Wilson, the guy who plays Biff in the series, actually does stand up comedy now. This is one of his best bits. It’s a song about all the dumb questions he gets asked over and over by fans.


Well played, Japan. Well. Played. You have actually won the Internet with this video.

8 “Christmas” movies that have nothing to do with Christmas

Posted in Christmas, holiday, movies, pop culture, reviews with tags , , , , on December 11, 2009 by Paxton

anti Christmas

I was thinking about un-Christmas movies the other day. What’s an un-Christmas movie? It’s a movie that doesn’t really have anything to do with the holiday season, but just happens to take place during the holiday season. Hollywood loves to associate movies to something that’s popular, like Christmas, but only do it in a tangential way.

So here are 8 movies that take place during the Christmas holiday but the movie plots themselves have really nothing to do with the holiday season. For all we know, the movie could have taken place on Arbor Day.

Reindeer Games
Reindeer Games
– Yes, that one Ben Affleck movie with Charlize Theron.  Based on the title you’d think the movie would center on some elaborate Christmas heist.  In actuality, the plot centers on Ben Affleck’s character stealing his dead friend’s identity, sleeping with said friend’s girlfriend and a casino heist by that guy on CSI: New York. Oh, and CSI guy may or may not be the brother/lover of Charlize Theron’s character. The fact that this movie happens during Christmas time is almost irrelevant.

Long Kiss Goodnight
Long Kiss Goodnight
– This was actually a pretty good movie starring Gina Davis as a housewife who finds out she used to be an elite assassin but lost her memory during a botched job (a la Jason Bourne). Did you remember that the movie takes place during Christmas? That’s why it’s an Un-Christmas movie.

First Blood
First Blood
– This movie is a heartwarming story about a renegade special forces soldier slaughtering police officers in the woods while the town of Hope quietly celebrates the holiday season.  What?  You didn’t remember that this movie takes place during the holiday season?  I guess Rambo violently murdering hillbilly cops kinda distracted you.  The sheriff’s office has a tree and some lights as does the town itself.  Merry Christmas, Sheriff…IN HELL!!!

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The Star Wars Holiday Special and its vintage merchandise

Posted in movies, nostalgia, pop culture, Star Wars, TV shows with tags , , , , on December 3, 2009 by Paxton

Chewies family

A few weeks ago I wrote about the infamous The Star Wars Holiday Special and its 31st birthday.  I also promised a followup discussing toys and items released to promote the TV special.  Well, that article is up on Monkey Goggles right this very moment.  I discuss the prototype Chewie’s family toys you see above as well as a media kit and several other items released back in the ’70s to promote the horribly received Star Wars special.

So click on over to the article and read about these rare and vintage Star Wars items.  Honestly, the Monkey Goggles article is one of my favorite articles I’ve written.  I really am proud of it.  Take a look and let me know what you think.

And just to let you know, Saturday is Ninja Day!  So I’ll have two new ninja themed articles on Friday and Saturday for your enjoyment!