Archive for the pop culture Category

15 murder mystery books with absurdly specific subjects

Posted in books, humor, pop culture with tags , , , on February 12, 2010 by Paxton

Badass Book Report

I love books and I love to read. I spend a lot of my time trolling through bookstores and used paperback shops just browsing. Sometimes after browsing for 2 hours I’ll buy a stack of like six books and sometimes I’ll buy nothing, to the ever increasing frustration of my wife.  She can go into a bookstore, look for 10 minutes and be done.  However, get her in a fabric store and time loses all meaning.  But a bookstore, that’s my domain.

One of the things I love to read is the murder mystery genre.  It’s one of the most popular genres of books including such classic authors as Agatha Christie and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  Recently I’ve noticed a trend with murder mysteries wherein the author tailors the murder story around a specific hobby or lifestyle.  I guess it’s to make the story more relatable to the reader.  As this practice has become more and more popular, the subjects for these murder mystery books has become so intensely specific that it has become a bit ludicrous.  Here are ten of the most ridiculously specific murder mystery books I could find.  And there may be even more odd ball ones out there. You can click the book covers to read more about the titles on Barnes & Noble.com.

Sudoku mystery
Sudoku, the OCD numbers puzzle that has become quite the rage the last few years. Now, there’s a murder mystery series featuring them. The story in this series involves a Sudoku creator for the Oregon Daily participating in a Sudoku tournament where a competitor turns up dead. She must solve the mystery and then win the Sudoku tournament (of course she does) if she is to be crowned King Sudoku and become one of the 8 Deadly Immortals and protect the Earth from the attacking Demonicle hordes…..okay, I made the last part up, but I was getting a little bored and had to think of something a little more awesome than winning a Sudoku tournament.  Other titles in this series include Murder by Numbers and Sinister Sudoku.

Crossword Puzzle series
Crossword puzzles.  They are like Sudoku for old people.  People obsess over these things.  There are books and dictionaries created specifically to help people solve crossword puzzles.  My father, my mother-in-law and my aunt are obsessed with these things.  My dad told me that he’ll start a crossword puzzle during breakfast and the next time he looks up it’s 5pm, time for dinner and he hasn’t moved…or showered.  Great, my dad is becoming Howard Hughes.  What’s an 8 letter word for shut in?  (FYI…it’s “puzzlers”)  Other titles in this series include Puzzled to Death and And a Puzzle to Die On. Stay tuned for mysteries involving Yahtzee, Bunko and Parcheesi.  Okay, Dad, you can shower now.

Tea Shop mysteries Coffeehouse mystery
These two books belong in the “so boring I may have just passed out” category.  On the left you see the first book in a mystery series about a tea shop. A.TEA. SHOP.  Yes, little old ladies in red hats drinking tea and eating scones off lace doilies solving murders.  It’s like a less interesting Murder, She Wrote (if that’s possible).  Each title in the book has the name of a tea in the title as a pun.  For instance, Gunpowder Green and Shades of Earl Gray.  It’s like the author is actively trying to get me NOT read her books.  On the right you can see the first book in the “coffeehouse mysteries” set in a trendy “mom and pop” coffee shop.  I guess a coffeehouse is as good a place as any for a murder scene because every time I go there with my wife there are several douchebags I want to actually murder.  Other coffeehouse titles include Decaffeinated Corpse and Roast Mortem. And since writing those “tea shop mysteries” most certainly drove the author insane, she also writes a mystery series about scrapbooking.

Continue reading

A look back at the awesome swag from the Kool-Aid Wacky Warehouse

Posted in Kool Aid, pop culture with tags , on February 2, 2010 by Paxton

KA Man

Back in the ’80s and ’90s, mail away premiums were all the rage. Being a comic book reader, I saw ads for thousands of mail away products amid the pages of my favorite books like The Flash and X-Men. One of the more prominent mail away deals was for the Kool-Aid Wacky Warehouse. You would collect points off the labels of Kool-Aid packets and cans and submit them for free stuff (paying postage, of course). It’s much like the rewards programs for hotels and airlines today. The more you use or buy their services, the more points you get and the more stuff that translates into.

Seeing the ads in comic books, I was amazed at all the cool stuff.  T-shirts, cassette players, hats, nerf basketball sets, etc.  These awesome items were dancing across the page with giant words screaming FREE STUFF!!!!  Here are two full page ads advertising the Wacky Warehouse (click images to make bigger).

Wacky Warehouse Sharkleberry Fin Wacky Warehouse Purplesaurus Rex

The ad on the left is themed towards the Kool-Aid flavor, Sharkleberry Fin (Greatest. Kool-Aid. Name. EVER.).  You can see the awesome shark mascot (with sunglasses!) for Sharkleberry Fin in the upper right.  In the ad to the right, the items are themed more for the Purplesaurus Rex flavor.  As you can see, there are tons of cool swag to be had just for drinking your favorite Kool-Aid flavors, clipping the points and sending them in with like 5 bucks in postage. Here’s the Wacky Warehouse order form that goes with the above ads.

Wacky Warehouse order form

Being a Kool-Aid enthusiast, I have come across a bunch of this swag so I thought it would be fun to take a look at some of this cool stuff the Wacky Warehouse was offering.  Some of it is, in fact, cool.  Some of it, not so much. Here are some of the fun items kids could send away for with Kool-Aid points.

KA Super Jump Rope
Super Jump Rope – I’m not entirely sure what makes this jump rope so “super”.  It actually looks like a pair of Kool-Aid themed nunchuks.  The red handles would mask the blood stains of your Kool-Aid Death Match victims.

KA Wacky Canteen Wacky Canteen back
Wacky Kid’s Canteen – Very goofy looking canteen that kids could carry around with them on their “adventures”. I’m assuming “The Warehouse” wanted it to be filled with Kool-Aid.  When did Kool-Aid Man start wearing glasses?

KA pitcher and cups
Pitcher and cup sets – Kool-Aid offered these items throughout the Wacky Warehouse promotion. Plastic cups and a pitcher with the Kool-Aid Man face on them.  The set would be colored differently depending on what Kool-Aid flavor they would currently be promoting. This particular set is red for Rock-A-Dile Red. If you look in the Wacky Warehouse forms at the top of this article you can see pitcher and cup sets colored blue for Berry Blue and purple for Purplesaurus Rex.

Continue reading

5 Star Wars items they shockingly haven’t made yet

Posted in humor, movies, pop culture, Star Wars with tags , , , on January 26, 2010 by Paxton

George Lucas is a media merchandising whore. There is not one other property that consistently sells billions of dollars of toys and merchandise to consumers than Star Wars. Not one.  And Star Wars has been doing it since 1977.  So it’s not surprising to think of the breadth of items that have been released with the Star Wars logos all over them.  I myself did a very popular story (that pretty much changed the world) about hilariously inappropriate Star Wars items.  There isn’t a lot of items that are man-made that haven’t had some type of tie-in to Star Wars.

However, I have come up with a few items that have yet to be produced.  Below are 5 Star Wars branded items that surprisingly have NOT been made yet.  And George really needs to get on this because these items are AWESOME.  They would easily give Lucas that little extra pocket money he so desperately needs right about now.

The Emporer Taser1 The Emporer Taser 2
The Emperor Collector Series Taser Gun – One of my favorite scenes in the Star Wars movies is the final Death Star Showdown between Jedi Luke, Darth Vader and The Emperor.  When The Emperor pulled out Sith Lightning after Luke had defeated his father, I was like, “OH S**T!!  WTF WAS THAT!?”  Sith Lightning is BADASS.  So I think it’s a natural to take The Emperor, Sith Lightning and Taser guns, mix well, and give them to law enforcement and kids.  Imagine thousands of kids playing Death Star in the backyard, whipping out The Emperor Taser gun, whispering, “And now young Skywalker, you will die” and then unleashing the full stunning fury of blue Sith Lightning on their brother or sister.   Can you imagine a cop that wouldn’t shout “Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the Darkside” before he tases the crap out of a degenerate criminal?  It would be GLORIOUS!!!

Darth Vader Asthma Inhaler Darth Vader Asthma Inhaler 2
Darth Vader Asthma Inhaler – It’s quite obvious that Vader has a bit of an asthma problem.  Listening to Vader wheeze his way through three and a half movies is like listening to Rosie O’Donnell walk a flight of steps.  Maybe we should use this to give confidence to kids with asthma.  “See, Darth Vader has asthma and he destroyed an entire PLANET!”  I can just imagine the commercial now, Darth Vader in the Death Star planning room.  One of the Moffs starts choking and weezing and you think Vader is choking him with the power of The Force.  Instead, Vader says, “Your lack of breath is disturbing” then hands the out of breath officer the Darth Vader Asthma Inhaler.  The Moff takes a few puffs and the meeting can resume to pats on Vader’s back for a job well done.  Excuse me while I head to the patent office website to copyright that “lack of breath” line I just came up with.  GENIUS!

Continue reading

Yuletide Brawl 2: Comic books featuring Santa kicking ass

Posted in Christmas, comic books, holiday, pop culture, Santa Claus with tags , , , , on December 17, 2009 by Paxton

If you missed the first part of this article, in which I show you Santa getting his ass kicked, then check it out here.  I also wrote another article featuring ’50s and ’60s super heroes helping Santa deliver toys on their covers.  See those comics here.

This week, we are changing it up and featuring a Santa Claus that has had enough and taking things into his own hands. Time to bloody up the snow with comic book covers featuring Santa kicking all kinds of asses.

Jingle Belle vs Frankenstein
From the 2008 Jingle Belle Holiday Special. Santa vs Frankenstein. You saw this a few months ago during my AWESOME-tober-fest 2009 countdown. I still maintain that it is awesome beyond words.  SANTA VERSUS FRANKENSTEIN.  Why has no one else thought of this?  And where’s the movie script?

Hulk 378
Hulk #378 – Santa fights The Incredible Hulk.  With a crowbar.  While falling out of a building.  The only thing left would be to have them (or the building) on fire, but I’m not sure my mind could handle that much BAD ASS.

Continue reading

Yuletide Brawl: Comic books featuring Santa getting his ass kicked

Posted in Christmas, comic books, holiday, pop culture, Santa Claus with tags , , , , on December 15, 2009 by Paxton

“Oh, the weather outside is frightful.
But beating Santa’s ass, is sooooooo delightful.”

Okay, I was paraphrasing those song lyrics. But they tie into today’s topic, you’ll see.

Santa Claus has a long history of showing up in comics books as an actual character, especially around the holidays. In the ’50s and ’60s, it was a more innocent time. Santa showed up as the typical jolly, old elf. He would distribute cheer and famous super heroes would help him deliver his toys to all the boys and girls.  Last week, I looked at a few of these jolly comic covers featuring Santa Claus.

In the ’70s and ’80s, things were a bit different for Mr Claus. For one thing, comic heroes had no problem beating the fat boy down. Seriously. Santa showed up as an adversary throughout the ’70s and ’80s. Then in the ’90s and ’00s, Santa turned the tables, armed himself to the teeth, and took on all comers like some bad ass pit fighter in a Van Damme movie.

Today, I’m going to take a look at the comic book covers that feature Santa getting his jolly, old ass handed to him by some of our most beloved superheroes. Don’t worry, though, next week, we’ll see Santa get his revenge. For now, let’s watch all kinds of mayhem be delivered unto “The Claus” as Santa gets his butt kicked by some of the most violent heroes of the ’90s.

Lobo Xmas Special
Lobo Paramilitary Xmas Special (1991) – I mentioned this comic last year when talking about my holiday reading.  Lobo gets into literally a 10 page vicious, bloody brawl against an armed-to-the-teeth Santa.  As you can see by the cover, it doesn’t end well for Father Christmas.  To be fair, though, Santa is portrayed as a slave driving, drunken dictator over all of his elves.

Hitman 22
Hitman #22 (1998) – I’m not sure what leads to this moment in the story, but Santa seems to be in a situation that is causing him to rethink the decisions he’s made.  And by that I mean he just crapped his pants.  Feliz Navidad, bitch!

Continue reading