I hope everyone has a pleasant and safe Thanksgiving.
….
Oh, and Kathy, be prepared to face not being ranked #1 after Saturday. It’s inevitable.
Have a great holiday everyone and I’ll see you on the backslide into Christmas 2008!!
Archive for the humor Category
Happy Thanksgiving from the Cavalcade of Awesome!!
Posted in holiday, humor, Thanksgiving with tags Thanksgiving on November 26, 2008 by PaxtonBattle Scars: Running the Winn-Dixie Obstacle Course
Posted in humor, life, personal, work with tags personal, work on November 18, 2008 by Paxton
So, every year, Winn-Dixie throws its employees a picnic and calls it Associate Appreciation Day. They have vendors come in and give out tons of free stuff. Pepsi and Coke show up and give out cans and bottles of free soda. Sometimes they even give out test flavors. Last year we got to try Squirt Citrus Power before it hit the shelves earlier this year.
At these picnics, Winn-Dixie will organize events that we, as employees, will participate in. One year they had a tri-sport challenge where you threw a football, shot a basketball and kicked a soccer ball to win prizes. Another year they organized a “Winn-Dixie Jacksonville Idol” karaoke contest. Usually management organizes their groups into teams and watches us compete. Days before this event, these managers will start smack talking each other saying their department will win this, other departments are scared of their team, etc, etc. It’s like the Associate Appreciation Day events are the equivalent of the “Coliseum Games” in Rome. We employees are the gladiators, the CEO and management team are the Emperor and Senate. The employees team up and compete in the “games”, trying to outdo each other and entertain management while they gorge themselves on food and drink. It’s fun for all. 🙂
This year there were several events and collectively it was called the Winn-Dixie Olympics. I competed in two events; the tug-of-war and the obstacle course. The tug-of-war almost became a blog article in and of itself. Our team won 2 matches then was told we were eliminated because we didn’t beat our opponents quick enough. I didn’t realize there was a time restriction. We dispatched our first opponent in just over 7 seconds. The second one took a little longer but not much more than 12 seconds. We were all a little ticked that a team that went 2-0 was being eliminated. Come to find out later, we actually did win the Gold in that event. I don’t know who fell asleep at the wheel, but I’m glad they finally recognized. IT PeopleSoft came to REPRESENT, yo. Here’s the winning tug-of-war team:
AWESOME-tober-fest 2008!! Some of my favorite scary movies
Posted in Alfred Hitchock, AWESOME-tober-fest, Halloween, holiday, humor, movies, pop culture, reviews with tags AWESOME-tober-fest, AWESOME-tober-fest 2008, Halloween, holiday, movie review, movies, pop culture on October 7, 2008 by Paxton
Welcome back to Week 2 of AWESOME-tober-fest. Last year I did an article telling you guys about some of my favorite scary books. It surprisingly became fairly popular and has been seeing steady traffic. So, this Halloween (AKA AWESOME-tober-fest) I thought I’d list out some of my favorite scary movies.
Now, this won’t be a “scariest movies of all time list”, that’s too easy. This list is gonna be typically Pax-centric. It’s all about what I like, my friends. That’s the only way I can work, ALL ABOUT ME. So this list will consist of movies that I really enjoy watching but not ones that I would consider the greatest Horror/Monster movies of all time. You can Google “Greatest Horror Movies” and literally get thousands of results if that’s what you are looking for, but this list will be a bit more nuanced. And by “nuanced”, I mean “stuff Pax likes”. If that is also your definition of nuanced, then you’ve come to the right blog.
I’ve put this list in chronological order. Let us begin.
Dial ‘M’ For Murder (1954) – A Hitchcock classic. This one really ratchets up the suspense (well, it is Hitchcock). Also, Grace Kelly is beautiful and wonderful as always. I prefer her in Rear Window, however, as she has more to do because, make no mistake, this is Ray Milland’s picture. Oh my lord, this guy is the balls. Cold, calculating, smart. He never once loses his calm demeanor despite being grilled by a Sherlock Holmes wanna-be detective. Ray Milland plays a husband who recruits a man to kill his wife (Grace Kelly). He has everything planned down to the last detail but something goes wrong and he must try to frame another man for the attempt. The script for this was originally a theatrical play, and you can tell by how the cameras were setup and everything was filmed. Also, it was originally released in 3-D, which not many people know, and I got to see it that way on the big screen at the Alabama Theater during Halloween 2003, I believe. This is a great movie.
Psycho (1960) – Hitchcock, again, at his best. Anthony Perkins pulls a fantastic performance here as Norman Bates. It’s easy to see why he was typecast after this movie. His performance here is so menacing, how could he be seen as anyone else? FYI…stay away from the sequels. They are awful. Psycho II is just embarrassingly bad. Wishful thinkers tend to say that four is not bad, but they are kidding themselves. This is the only movie with ‘Psycho’ in the title worth watching (and I’m including American Psycho in that statement too).
Wrecking someone else’s journal
Posted in books, humor, journals, personal with tags books, personal on September 19, 2008 by PaxtonOkay, it’s been a long week. I would have had this blog article done a few days ago but the monitor on my laptop died on me. Add to that fact that work has been really busy and the outcome is that Pax can’t finish his blog articles on time. Right now I’m having to write this blog “guerilla style” while at work. Not a problem for me because, as you know, I’m a ninja, but it’s annoying nonetheless.
So I was talking with my friend Debi at work and she whips out this kick ass book she’s been working on called Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith. It has tasks for you to do on each page that involve somehow wrecking the journal. It’s pretty cool, here’s the cover.
You get to do some crazy, random things to the book like taking a shower with it, mailing it to someone, chew on a page, glue office supplies to a page and many others. I found some sample pages on Amazon.
My iPhone can now kill hookers, travel through time
Posted in Apple, cell phones, humor, iPhone, pop culture, technology with tags Apple, humor, iPhone, technology on September 12, 2008 by Paxton
I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, “If Pax writes any more about his stupid iPhone I’m going to cut him with the prison shank I keep in my bathroom toilet.” Well, maybe you’re not thinking of that specifically, because, as my wife just informed me, not everyone has a prison shank hidden in their toilet tank (which is crazy, because you should have one. Seriously). All physical threats of violence to the side, I am in fact going to talk about my supremely awesome iPhone again. If you got a got a problem with it, you can meet me on the corner of Shut and The Hell Up. I’ll be the guy stabbing people with a wet prison shank named Skip. Yes, his name is Skip. He likes action movies, listening to AC/DC, and shanking people in the gut. Come up, say hi and he’ll shank you in the gut.
For those that don’t want to die, I thought I’d talk a little bit about applications you can download for your iPhone. Ever since Apple let third party developers design mini-applications (aka apps) for the iPhone that get distributed on iTunes, many cool and interesting games and productivity apps have shown up. As good as these apps are, they don’t cover every circumstance you find yourself in. What if some A-hole cuts you off in traffic and giving the guy “the finger” just won’t cut it? Or what if the hooker you are seeing threatens to go to your wife? The iPhone can’t help you in either situation, bro. However, I’ve designed a few apps that may give you the upper hand should you find yourself in one of the above “less than ideal” situations.
If you thought the iPhone was awesome before, my new “Cavalcade of Awesome” apps make the iPhone so ridiculously kick-ass it may bend the fabric of reality itself. You could be talking on your iPhone, set off one of my apps, then find yourself in another dimension. My stuff is that good. Be careful though, I was testing some of my applications and next thing I know I was in a battle arena on Cylus 3 facing the nose tusk of a Snaarlak beast. Let me tell you, a Snaarlak beast makes a Chnultha serpent look like a baby Greeb. My situation escalated quickly and I had to use the Cavalcade of Awesome apps to their full extent. I’m lucky to be typing this article today.
So let’s take a look at a few of my new apps.
Cavalcade of Awesome 