Okay, I noticed a serious jump in my blog stats the other day and I took a look to see what the hell just happened. Looking at my page views I see this:
A huge amount of traffic was being sent by an outside link to my article about failed McDonald’s sandwiches: The Golden Archives. This article usually gets some hits but it was blowin’ up, yo, sur-iously. So I clicked in to find the sites that link to it and I noticed this.
The most hits were coming from time.com. I was like, “Time.com? WTF? Not THE Time.com?” Yes, THE Time.com. I clicked the link and was greeted with an article on Time.com listing the top 50 Authentic American Experiences. Surprisingly, my blog is NOT one of the 50 Authentic American experiences. I don’t know why. How much more AMERICAN, or more of an EXPERIENCE, can this blog be? And by American, I obviously mean AWESOME. Here’s the page in question.
Within this article they are discussing the Big Mac Museum, which I would agree is an authentic American experience. In the very first sentence Time friggin’ Magazine (I say again…WHAT. UP.) sees fit to link to my blog.
Check out the Hula Burger link. That goes to my Golden Archives article here. How about that, sixth grade English teacher who said I wrote like a blind second grader? HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?! Actually, my sixth grade English teacher didn’t say that, but she did throw a shoe across the room at a classmate. That is true. But she didn’t say I wrote like a blind second grader…I think she said epileptic first grader. But that’s beside the point because I can now bill myself as if I won an Academy Award. Like Academy Award Winner Sir Anthony Hopkins. I can now call myself Time Magazine referenced Sir Paxton Holley. Well, I added the Sir, but I have no problems going to jolly Olde England for the knighting ceremony. I’ll even pay for my own flight. You hear me Queen Mother? Hello?
Well, the inaugural post to the newly branded Cavalcade of Awesome will be one of my favorite types of posts, a rundown of some cool stuff I found at the Supermaket these past few weeks. You should all know by now that I love perusing retail shops and grocery stores for cool product. I’m a sucker for a cool movie promotion, so I especially enjoy food/snack items that are branded with the promotion of an upcoming movie. This usually only happens with action or comic book movies, but that makes it all the better. Surprisingly, you won’t see a movie like 27 Dresses get its own box of cereal (and that’s a shame). 
The weekend before last, the wife and I made our third visit to Savannah, GA. It was for her birthday. It is one of our favorite places to go because there is so much history in this little city and there’s so much to do. Lots of great restaurants, cool site-seeing tours and many places of interest can keep one busy for hours. History buffs can appreciate all of the early American history and buildings and Hollywood buffs can appreciate all of the Hollywood movies and tv shows that have been filmed here. When we lived in Birmingham, AL, we were a whopping 6 hours away, but now that we live in Jacksonville, FL we are only 2.5 hours away. And we love it.
Well, if you’ve read this blog a few times you know I love stalking the supermarket and gas stations for awesome, awesome drinks, snacks, candy, etc. I’m always browsing gas station mini-marts, grocery stores, dollar stores, etc for new and different items that look cool. Have you noticed there are like 8 different kinds of Cheetos? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Cheetos whore. I could eat nothing all day but bags of those dangerously cheesy corn puffs. I could bathe in the cheese powder they use to flavor the Cheeto, it’s that good. I could write an entirely separate article about Cheetos flavors alone (hey, not a bad idea). But today I’ll discuss the multitude of other things I found at my local grocery just recently. There are lots of limited edition flavors of popular candy bars floating around all over the place, as well as new varieties of your favorite cereals. Here’s some cool items I’ve found in the last few weeks. I’ll show you what they are and let you know what I think of them.
Frosted Flakes Gold – Kellogg’s has decided to take their cash cow sugar infused cereal, Frosted Flakes, and transform it into something they can call healthy and still sleep at night. They have ENERGY written everywhere possible on the box, so at first glance, I thought they were jumping the “energy” craze and infusing Ginseng, Vitamin B and Taurine into the flakes. I mean, that’s what kids need, right, MORE energy? Genius. However, it looks as though this new Frosted Flakes just has whole grain flakes…and honey, nothing more. My next question is, what were these flakes before if they weren’t whole grain? Synthetic grain? Half grain? They’ve also reduced the sugar content by 1g. Yep, 10g instead of 11g. Bravo, Kellogg, for taking such a bold step in making your cereals “healthy”. Throw away that oatmeal and bran muffin. Toss those fruits and vegetables. Eat Frosted Flakes Gold for breakfast, lunch and dinner and you will live FOREVER! Hey, Kellogg’s, how is this different from the other whole grain Frosted Flakes you tried to sell in 2005 called 
Cavalcade of Awesome 
