After Halloween Retail Roundup
Well, it’s Friday. I thought I’d do a quick round up of stuff I’ve been seeing in the stores on my more recent trips to the local grocer (you know I always find cool stuff).
Man, I have been finding Xmas stuff all over the stores which is weird because Halloween has only been over for a week and Thanksgiving is 2 weeks away. As a matter of fact, I found some of the below Christmas branded holiday items one or even two days before Halloween last week. Shows just how little the big retail chains really care about Thanksgiving. Here are some of the early holiday offerings you can find as of last week.
Holiday fruitcake. Yes, it’s that time once again for supermarkets to foist this holiday abomination on an American public that never really wants it in the first place. Seriously, who eats this crap? As far as I know, it’s only given away as gifts to other people. Then re-gifted again to more people. If no one wants it or eats it, why are people apparently buying it? Stores keep selling it, so people must be buying it, right?. And why is it called fruitcake? It’s not cake. It’s not fruit. It’s like eating silly putty mixed with colored pieces of plastic. Who is buying this stuff to warrant stores putting it out every year? It’s like the Bermuda Triangle or Sasquatch. We may never know the real answer.
This isn’t a Christmas item per se, and I may be behind the times, but I found these for the first time this week. Grapples. I know you want to say Grapple with a short a, but it’s pronounced Grape-L, with a long a, as in Grapes. The idea is that it’s an apple that tastes like a grape. Interesting idea, but my thoughts are that if I wanted grapes, I would have bought grapes. I can’t remember ever thinking, “Man, I really want grapes, but they are way too small to eat, dude. I want one giant grape the size of an apple.” I’ve never said that, even when I was high. Oh, and they are EXPENSIVE. Seriously. So, don’t waste your money. They don’t taste like grapes. Oh, they’ll try to lure you in with a siren song of grape smelling goodness, but it’s an empty promise that leads to nothing but disappointment and despair as they taste like apples. You’re essentially eating an apple bathed in grape flavored deodorant. But I’m not bitter about it or anything.
Hey, it’s the holidays, it’s time for soda companies to start mixing cranberries into all of their sodas to give them that Santa-red color that leaves you feeling tingly and safe inside like an old blanket. Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash shows up again this year after debuting at Christmas time last year. And he’s brought his brother, Sierra Mist Free. I don’t believe Sierra Mist Free recevied the Cranberry baptism last year, but I’m glad I found it this year. It’s REALLY good. I wish this was available all year. I still have half of a 12 pack of regular Sierra Mist Cranberry from last year. I’ve been savoring it in case they didn’t bring it back this year. Canada Dry also released their Cranberry Ginger Ale again. This can be found year-round in some places, but only in limited quantities. This is another good soda that really tastes good as a mixer. Seriously, try mixing in some Vodka or Hanger 1 Mandarin Blossom with these, especially the Sierra Mist. It will make your bells jingle and your Kris……kringle (haha, that was awesome).
OMG, I found out about this a week or two ago. I have been trying to find it ever since. Pomegranate infused 7-Up. How heavenly does that sound? And look how Christmas-y the logo is! Oh man, I’ll be stalking my local supermarkets waiting for this to show up. Me want Pomegranate 7-Up.
Candy Cane Pop Rocks, my friends. Not bad, not great, but not bad. it’s really just crunched up candy cane dust with some of the trademark pop rock crackle. I was slightly disappointed. Maybe I’ll save a pouch of this and dump it in a warm can of 7-Up Pomegranate and chug it. Then we’ll have a party……
Yes, it’s that time of year for companies to whore out the license for the old-school stop motion puppet movie, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Check out the elf that wanted to be a dentist, Yukon Cornelius, and the giant snow monster. You see these every year, kinda makes me sad how my childhood memories are bought and sold to the sweaty masses for peanuts. PEANUTS, PEOPLE!!!!
This is some of the stuff that’s showing up early in stores for the Christmas season, despite the fact that Thanksgiving is 2 weeks away. Other things I’m anticipating include Christmas Crunch by Cap’n Crunch, Peppermint Stick ice cream by Edy’s and the apple spice cupcakes that Hostess sells every holiday season.
Supermarket shopping during the holiday season is so much fun, man!