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AWESOME-tober-fest 2009: More Supermarket Halloween Goodies

Posted in Halloween, holiday, retail, Supermarket with tags AWESOME-tober-fest, AWESOME-tober-fest 2009, Halloween, holiday, retail, soda, Supermarket on October 1, 2009 by Paxton

Day 2 of AWESOME-tober-fest!! Did you miss Day 1? Check it here.

It seems like fewer things are getting branded with the Halloween graphics. Sometimes companies will cop out and brand something “Fall” or “Autumn” instead of a cool Halloween theme. I’m totally not on board with that. Bring out the bat and demon fueled monster graphics.

Here are some more retail products that celebrate All Hallow’s Eve like the rest of us.

Blue Bird Snowballs — I’m not a huge fan of Snowballs, but Blue Bird really dresses them up for the holidays. For Halloween they turn orange. For Xmas they are usually red (or white). I may not like them, but I fully support their celebration of the Halloween season.

Gourmet Candy Corn — Gourmet candy corn? Gourmet? Should I drink red or white wine with these? Calling candy corn “gourmet” is like calling McDonalds a “fancy restaurant”. First, it’s not true, and second, well, the first one pretty much covers it. I can understand you wanting to change the flavor of candy corn, but blackberry cobbler flavored candy corn is no longer, technically, candy corn. Unless it’s just a hint of blackberry cobbler, then I’m worried they are just making the flavors worse. Up next? Strawberry shortcake flavored peanut butter cups.

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AWESOME-tober-fest 2009: Early Halloween finds at the local supermarket

Posted in breakfast cereal, Cap'n Crunch, food, Halloween, holiday, retail, Supermarket with tags AWESOME-tober-fest, AWESOME-tober-fest 2009, breakfast cereal, Cap'n Crunch, Halloween, holiday, retail, Supermarket on September 30, 2009 by Paxton

October 1st is tomorrow. However, I’m pumped and excited to kick off AWESOME-tober-fest so I’m doing something unprecedented. I’m going to post this little entry a WHOLE DAY EARLY. WHAT-WHAT?! That’s right, AWESOME-tober-fest is starting a day earlier this year. Have I completely blown your mind? Don’t worry, you can thank me by sending envelopes of cash and/or blank checks from your checkbook. I’ll accept either.

So, this year, AWESOME-tober-fest has a theme. What is that theme? Well, if you look at the new blog header above you can see the theme of this year is Frankenstein. It’s a loose theme, mind you, as I’ll be looking at a other stuff besides just Frankenstein, but I have a lot of Frankenstein themed articles coming. So prepare yourself.

Anyway, like I said, Week 1 of this little yearly dance known as AWESOME-tober-fest is now officially under way. What am I looking at today? Well, even though the overall theme this year is Frankenstein, the mini-theme of this week will be “Supermarket Goodies”. I’ll be looking at cool Halloween items you can find at your local grocer. I did an early scouring of my Targets, Wal-Marts, Walgreen’s, etc in order to find out what Halloween related items are out there already. Most stores have their Halloween sections up and ready, so let’s see some of the cooler items I found.

Halloween Crunch — I found it this year! Wa-Hoo-HA!! If you remember, I couldn’t find this little slice of Heaven last Halloween OR the year before. And I wanted it. BAD. It had become my personal Moby Dick. I had to find this cereal, if only to prove it existed. I could find Christmas Crunch every year but this one kept eluding me. It was like trying to nail Jello to the wall. However, this year, the God of all things spooky and Halloween-y decided to grace my local Wal-Mart with Cap’n Crunch’s annual scary monster cereal. And all was right with the world. The only thing I wish was that the Cap’n himself was dressed as Frankenstein’s monster instead of the mummy, but mostly because my general theme this year is Frankenstein. Not to take anything away from the awesome Mummy Cap’n artwork on the box. I’m just sayin’.

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Welcome new readers to the Cavalcade

Posted in blogging, Time Magazine with tags blogging, Star Wars, Time Magazine on September 24, 2009 by Paxton

Well, my article yesterday about inappropriate Star Wars items hit WordPress’ news page as well as Neatorama’s page. I’m getting lots of positive reaction to it. Glad everyone liked it. I’ll tell you what, I haven’t seen this much traffic since I was linked by Time muthaf’n magazine almost a year ago. That’s right, I said TIME MUTHAF’N MAGAZINE.

Wow, now that I look at it, I was linked by Time Magazine a year ago tomorrow. Spooky. Click the earlier links or my Time Magazine cover to see how I was linked by Time muthaf’n Magazine.

Anyway, it’s funny because the Star Wars article yesterday was just supposed to be a filler article this week to get me through to the beginning of AWESOME-tober-fest next week. Now it’s all blowin’ up and stuff. It’s pretty awesome to get this kinda reaction to something I wrote. So thank you guys.

Oh, for those just joining us, AWESOME-tober-fest is my Halloween celebration and it’s happening the entire month of October. So you’ve picked a good time to join us here at the Cavalcade.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. AWESOME-tober-fest starts next week.

For some good reading check out my archives or my “Top Posts” to the right ==>

Or try these goodies:
Awesome McDonalds Commercials
Dork-topia: Cities constantly overrun by nerdy fans
Photoshop Gone Bad: Atrocious DVD Covers
7 Time Machines that would suck if they existed in the Real World

Hilariously Inappropriate Star Wars items

Posted in humor, movies, pop culture, Star Wars with tags movies, pop culture, Star Wars on September 23, 2009 by Paxton

Star Wars is iconic. Almost all kids love it. Floppy haired ’70s kids. Neon wearing ’80s kids. Baseball cap tilted 20 degrees to the right ’90s kids. All of them. They have heard and love Star Wars (well, they’ve at least heard of it). It’s ubiquitous. With the metric tons of crap that is produced within the Star Wars brand, there is going to be a few missteps. Maybe quality control got drunk and fell asleep on the job, maybe someone just got a little greedy, maybe the Lucasfilm execs are nothing but perverts. For whatever reason, questionable products are released all the time. Here are 5 of the most inappropriate Star Wars toys meant for children.

Topps Star Wars movie card #207 — This is probably the most well known of the “vaguely obscene” Star Wars items. Take a look at this image of C3PO. Take a goooooood look. Right around the “bathing suit area”. Hmmmm, what’s that? I can’t quite………holy crap. I guess this gives new meaning to the term “fully functional”. Am I right? Goldenrod, indeed! You can click the image to make it bigger, if you are into that sort of thing (and are gross).

C3PO tape dispenser — C3PO, dude, WTF?! Was the card above not inappropriate enough? Now kids are supposed to grab your “wheel” to get some tape? For once in your life, Threepio, show some dignity. I don’t think I can “unsee” any C3PO suppositories or “body massagers” that come about because you are a media whore.

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Countdown to AWESOME-tober-fest 2009

Posted in Frankenstein, Halloween, holiday, monsters with tags AWESOME-tober-fest, AWESOME-tober-fest 2009, Halloween on September 17, 2009 by Paxton

Two weeks until October 1st. That means 14 days until this blog starts celebrating AWESOME-tober-fest!!! For those that don’t know what that is, it’s AWESOME, it’s October and it’s fest….wait, that’s not right….

Anyway, I have lots of things planned. The loose “theme” of this year’s celebration will be Frankenstein. I’ll be discussing books, movies, costumes, etc for the titular monster as well as some other AWESOME goodies. Be sure to mark your calendars and prepare for the bloody celebration of AWESOME-tober-fest!!!

Also this year, I’ll again be participating in the HUGE Countdown to Halloween Blog Tour.

Click the image to go to the blog site of Countdown to Halloween. All the participating blogs are there and it’s run by Shawn Robare of Branded in the ’80s as well as John Rozum of JohnRozum.com. Should be a lot of spooky, good fun.

To check out the archives for previous AWESOME-tober-fest articles click here.
Or try these favorites:
1. A look back at the Crestwood Monster books
2. I review gallons of Halloween sodas
3. Some of my awesome, awesome Halloween costumes

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