Archive for technology

Fun With Yahoo! Avatars

Posted in avatars, Elvis, humor, internet, random, technology, Yahoo with tags , , on January 10, 2007 by Paxton

Avatars are pretty cool. They are little graphical representations of yourself you can use in Internet chats, fantasy sports or any website that uses a profile. Some people use pictures of celebrities or random objects, but some sites let you create your own little icon.

Several years ago I stumbled upon the South Park Studio. This website lets you create cool images of yourself as a South Park character by letting you choose different aspects of your appearance (ie hair, clothes, body). I created a picture of myself as a character and when I began this blog I used it as my profile picture. I even created a santa suit version which I used just recently during the holiday season. There’s also a website called StorTroopers where you can create cartoon versions of yourself (seen here). Call me a narcissist, but creating little cartoons of myself is fun and fascinating.

Well, I was playing around on my Yahoo! account and noticed that you can create your own avatars for use with your Yahoo! profile. Needless to say, I was floored. I started playing around with it and you can create some pretty cool stuff. You can create your avatars as anything you want and it doesn’t even have to look like you. So, I created a few and saved them as my favorites. Let’s take a look, shall we?

This is my normal avatar. I created it earlier last year and I use it as my default. Pretty plain jane, but it looks like me and I like the clubbin’ background. This one can go with or without glasses.

Ahh, yes. Everyone, set your faces to ROCKED!!! This avatar is so unbelievably awesome that you can’t look directly at it for fear of burning out your retinas. Ladies, try not to lose control and start throwing your panties at the screen. While the gesture is appreciated…and understood…it could be embarrassing for you if you are at work…or your parent’s house. As you can see, this avatar is me in an Elvis jumpsuit next to the Las Vegas sign. This is now becoming my default avatar. This will seem familiar to those of you who have seen me in my totally kick ass Halloween costume.

This avatar shows “alternate universe Pax” where I grew up on the “wrong side of the tracks” (FYI…the left side) and I don’t “keep my hair clean”. Check out that gi-normous dragon tattoo on my arm. On anyone else, that tat would seem cliche, but it looks pretty BAD ASS on me. I might have to make that a reality. Oh, you may be wondering why I’m walking through a pretty, floral arbor…well, obviously, since this is “alternate universe Pax”, I’m attending a Sunday afternoon tea at someone’s house. Duh. Hope they have blueberry scones.

It seems Yahoo! avatars pretty much have any situation I can think of covered. What if I wanted to see me in an aerobics class wearing red long johns and a sombrero? Ooooooo, Yahoo!, you are good.

How about me in a turkey costume standing on the moon? Well, played, Yahoo!, well played.

It looks like you won this round, Yahoo! Avatar, but I’ll be back. I’ll. Be. Back.

……………..wearing lederhosen, standing next to a unicorn in front of a bunch of lightbulbs? DAMN YOU, YAHOO AVATAR!! DAMN YOU!!

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Fun With My Camera Phone…

Posted in camera phone, humor, personal, random, technology with tags , on December 1, 2006 by Paxton

Man, camera phones are the greatest. When I’m out and aboot during the day and I see something funny or strange, I can just quickly snap a pic of it to show people later. I’ve turned the sound off on the camera function so it doesn’t even make that tell-tale camera clicking sound when I take a pic. Perfect for crowded areas. I thought I’d show you guys a few of the pics I’ve taken this week during my adventures. All of the below pics were taken by me on my cell phone, which, by the way, is a Razr V3 (seen left), hopefully to be upgraded to the Samsung Blackjack this spring.

FYI…I play games on my phone, mostly Pocket Yahtzee, so when going to the bathroom with your phone, keep a good grip on it. My phone went diving into the toilet like Greg Louganis yesterday. It even bumped the side of the bowl like Greg. Luckily, it was pre-business, so clean up wasn’t messy (you’d be surprised the amount of people that asked).

Anywho…on to the pics!!


Holy crap, what the hell is this guy compensating for? Either this is Paul Bunyon’s sweet ride or the owner has the tiniest genitalia on the planet. And he parked it BACKWARDS. For a guy with such small genitalia, he’s got some ego.


I was at the Big Lots by my office during lunch and right next door was this Chinese grocery (pictured left). I love fun and different types of supermarkets and groceries so I thought I’d drop in. Maybe I’d find some cool Chinese energy drinks or sodas. I thought it would be fun. I was wrong. As soon as I stepped into the place, I knew I was wrong. First of all, the smell. It was unearthly. At first, it smelled like some old guy’s ass (not that I actually know what that smells like, but I can guess). The smell changed and morphed the longer I stayed in this unholy place. The smell was so bad, my entire olfactory system shut down. It was like Cherynobyl in my brain, a complete meltdown. My eyes were burning, I couldn’t breathe, and I wanted to cry. I walked around very quickly trying to catch my breath and I noticed I was the only “westerner” in there. Everyone else is Chinese, and old. Not just old, but ANCIENT. We are talking hieroglyphics old. So, now I’m scared. I’m afraid the Akuza (they are Japanese, I know) are going to jump out and turn me into Today’s Special. So I hightail it out of there. Walking out I noticed there was like one register open and the chick was doing her nails. So strange…yet wonderful. I will never set foot in this place again, but I will speak of it often.


Hogly Wogly?! Come on, dude. You can’t do any better than Hogly Wogly? How about Cowsy Wowsy? Birdsy Wirdsy? Piggly Wiggly….wait.


This is a public service announcement. If you are going to mix absinthe and lemonade, be prepared for the very real possibility of a cross dressing transvestite waking you up in the middle of the French Quarter without your pants on.

Or so I’ve been told.


DEAD. SEXY. You know it, and I know it.

It’s December already?! Can you believe it?! Time has FLOWN by. Holiday season is upon us. Have a great weekend everyone and get your Xmas shopping done.

Remember, I want a Samsung Blackjack.

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Bill Gates Retires as Microsoft Chief Software Architect

Posted in Bill Gates, Microsoft, personal, technology, Windows with tags , , , on June 22, 2006 by Paxton

I’m long overdue for a technology article. This item affected me more than I thought, so I had to write about it. I know this article looks long, but if you stick with me, I have some fun videos and stuff linked at the end.

Last week Bill Gates announced his retirement from day-to-day duties at Microsoft. He’s stepping down as Chief Software Architect, but remaining as the company’s Chairman. This will end Bill’s day-to-day running of Microsoft and keep him in the upper executive role. Cutting back on his daily work will allow him to pursue more philanthropic ventures with the charitable foundation he started with his wife.

I would have written this article earlier but I had to sit on it for a week to decide how I feel about it. Overall, for Microsoft, I think it might be a good thing that he steps down from overseeing Microsoft’s day-to-day activity as it might open up other creative outlets for the company. With that in mind, I’ll be sad to see him go.

I had early exposure to Microsoft and their products. My dad procured a laptop from work in the mid ’80s when it was still rare for anyone to have a personal computer, much less a laptop computer. We had a couple laptops before we even got a desktop computer. I took over playing on the laptop as my dad thought it was cool, but he really just got it for me to play on. Windows was not in full release at this time so the laptop’s operating system was MS-DOS. It did have an early version of Microsoft Works (word processor, spreadsheet and relational database). I was writing school papers on Microsoft Works’ word processor, printing them and turning in typed copies when most students were still hand writing them. Pretty soon, Dad had Windows 3.0 installed on the laptop and it took up so much memory that you couldn’t open anything else. He had several other business laptops after that. I used one with Windows 95 on it until, in my last year of college, he got me my own desktop. At Auburn I majored in Mangement Information Systems and it just made everything easier to have my own computer. I learned so much on that computer. When I was finally interviewing during my last Winter at Auburn, I admit, I put in for an interview with Microsoft. I was not initially accepted, but I could have scheduled one anyway during one of their open slots. I decided not to. I really wanted to go for it, but I also was a little nervous about working for them and moving to Redmond, Washington for the job.

I’ve always loved learning new technologies and that led me to IT consulting and application development after graduation. A lot of that desire and love of technology came from playing on those old laptops and my first desktop. And because of that early exposure I’ve always had a soft spot for Microsoft. They weren’t always the world crushing superpower they are now. They were once the plucky upstart. No one thought Windows would work. When Windows 3.1 for Workgroups was released, things started happening and that was the beginning of their ascension. And that ascension was spear-headed by Bill Gates.

I am by no means a Microsoft apologizer, nor do I believe that they are evil incarnate. Neither am I an “Apple is God” Mac Addict. I recognize the wonderful technologies both companies have brought to the electronic marketplace, but I also am aware of many missteps by both companies. I grew up on Microsoft Windows and that is why I prefer it. Microsoft revolutionized the PC with it’s operating system. It’s on easily 95% of the computers made today. Windows, overall, is a great operating system. Like I said, I’ve used it since Windows 3.0 back in the ’80s. Microsoft did make some bad decisions with the OS including Microsoft Bob in 98-99 and Windows ME in 2000. Windows has steadily improved since Windows 95, and Windows XP Service Pack 2 is the best Windows ever. I applaud Gates’ achievements and wish him the best of luck. He, undeniably, was the technical vision and focus behind Microsoft’s achievements and that has been what has led them to the forfront of technology. He is a man with an incredible forward thinking mindset and someone who may be misunderstood on the whole. If you get a chance, read his book, The Road Ahead (pictured to the right). I read it in college and his ideas and philosophies on technology and how we will use it in the future are fascinating.

I know there are many Mac enthusiasts who bemoan Gates saying he “stole” Apple’s operating system and used it for Microsoft Windows. The operating systems are similar, and Apple may have released theirs first, but Apple did not invent the graphical user interface (GUI). Apple itself took the initial idea of a clickable GUI from the labs at Xerox-PARC. Back in the ’70s Xerox had an R&D lab filled with fringe computer scientists cooking up all these crazy ideas. The clickable GUI was one of them, among numerous other advances that led to the personal computer and Internet as we know it today. Apple took what Xerox-PARC pioneered and modified it to suit their computer systems. Apple does have a spectacular interface that may work smoother and better than Windows, but Windows has to interface with thousands of completely different peripherals and software. Macs can’t work with any software, and because Apple’s system is so locked down, everything works on it smoothly and without incident. Apple definately has a great product, but I stand firmly entrenched in the PC/Microsoft world and look forward to the company’s progress now that “King Bill” has moved on.

Some fun stuff on Bill Gates:

1. One of my favorite mass emails about the on-going war between Jocks and Nerds

2. Funny pics of Bill Gates at 30 right before Windows 1.0 was released

3. Picture of 11 of Microsoft’s first employees (they look like hippies) right before they moved to Seattle from New Mexico

4. Bill Gates getting a pie to the face while leaving a building

5. Bill Gates and Napoleon Dynamite in college – This video was done for a Microsoft Conference. It is HILARIOUS.

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‘Ask A Ninja’ Podcasts are Killers!

Posted in Ask a Ninja, humor, internet, ninjas with tags , , , on June 20, 2006 by Paxton

I discovered a podcast on YouTube last week that has me on the floor it is so damn funny. It’s called Ask A Ninja. It’s this guy dressed up in a ninja outfit supposedly answering questions from people about ninjas. It is hilarious. You can go to the podcast’s website here to download/watch all the videos or just watch them all on YouTube here.

The Ninja covers topics such as Love, Excuses, The Matrix, Pickup Lines, Ninja Conventions (KillaCon), etc. The guy is so funny and the theme song is addicting. I’ve had it in my head for a week.

Check some of them out, I hope they bring you as much enjoyment as they have me.

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TV Technology to Prevent Skipping Commercials? Yes.

Posted in technology, TV with tags , on May 4, 2006 by Paxton

”TV

I was checking some tech/entertainment news this morning and this article caused me to do a spit take all over myself and my computer. After wiping up Full Throttle energy drink from my pants and in my cubicle, and then apologizing to the people around me, I got back to reading the article.  Apparently, Royal Phillips Company, also known as Phillips and one of the world’s leading electronics companies, has developed, and is trying to patent, a technology that would freeze the TV channel when commercials are airing.  This technology would reside either on the TV itself or in a set-top cable box and would force TV viewers to watch commercials.

Being a TiVo owner, I have come to loathe commercials like poison.  It’s so nice to be able to flip the fast forward button twice and get right back to the show.  After having done this for so long, the idea of being forced to watch commercials causes my banana and breakfast bar to make a return visit to my esophagus.  Every once in a while, my wife and I will watch a show live and have to sit through commercials.  It’s like water torture.  Not only are most commercials extremely irritating with fast-cut MTV editing, they are broadcast at least one and a half times louder than the show you are watching.  I do admit that there are some commercials I enjoy watching.  The Geico commercials are funny with the gecko and his limey accent.  I also enjoy the Burger King big-buckin’ chicken commercial.  Bud Light will always come up with some genius spots also (to check out the latest funny Bud Light commercials go here).

This technology, however maddening or close to patent it is, could never survive real life testing.  Consumer corporations like Sony and JVC may buy it and put it in their TVs, Motorola and Texas Instruments may buy it and put it in their cable boxes.  This is a technology you know the networks and ad executives can get behind.  And all of this can be implemented inside your hardware and not turned on.  As a matter of fact, this technology could be bundled with a larger service pack and the cable companies told they need it on their boxes to be able to capture the satellite signals.  It will then sit there until one of the companies gets the testicular fortitude to turn it on for a test audience.  The minute Joe Six-Pack can’t change the channel during commercials, he’ll flood the cable company with calls thinking his box is broken or malfunctioning.  The cable company may or may not know what is going on.  The technology will then be turned off and labeled a glitch in the system.  That’s how, in all likely-hood it should play out.

At least I hope so, because if I’m forced to watch commercials, the next logical step is staking out a small place of business and taking a hostage.  You can see me on the news, while being forced to watch the commercials.

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