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Hulu: New video site ROCKS!!

Posted in humor, movies, technology, TV shows, websites with tags Hulu, technology on April 4, 2008 by Paxton

I got lazy/busy this week and couldn’t finish the article I was working on that I planned on publishing today. Sorry about that, however, I have become completely infatuated with the new video site NBC launched a while back. It’s called Hulu.

NBC got tired of their content getting streamed on YouTube and they weren’t getting a dime, so they decided to open their own video portal. I believe Fox is also a partner in this. They offer high resolution clips and episodes of popular tv shows from both NBC and Fox. It’s unbelievable some of the stuff you can find out there. They have episodes of Doogie Houser, MD and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. For free. They even have 2 seasons of one of my favorite shows of all time; Arrested Development. It’s awesome.

The site is very different from YouTube in many ways. Like I said, the resolution is higher. Also, users can’t upload videos so, thankfully, you won’t see some jackass trying to light his own farts on fire or some idiot in face paint singing to his favorite ’80s metal ballad. You get nothing but good content from NBC and Fox tv shows. They also have a fair amount of movies to choose from. You should check it out. The site was in beta testing for a while and I became a member of the hulu beta testing team a few months ago, but it looks like anyone can go out there and watch videos now. Go, see what I mean. It rocks.

Here are some awesome clips I found on Hulu that I found today. Some of these I’ve never been able to find on YouTube.

Unfortunately, WordPress won’t let me embed Hulu videos yet, so I’m just providing the links.

EZ Date Saturday Night Live – E-Z Date– One of my favorite fake commercials from Saturday Night Live. Advertising the “dating” service EZ-Date, which lets you “make connections that will last a lifetime…in one hour increments.” Hilarious.

Really with Seth and Amy Really?! with Seth and Amy– Great segment from Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update. Seth and Amy tear apart Michael Vick after he gets busted for marijuana possession at the Miami airport. See the two other Really?! segments here.

MacGruber– From Saturday Night Live. Great take-off of the tv show MacGuyver. MacGruber’s drunken rendition of his own theme song kills me everytime.

9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous claims Al Queda– From the great fake online newspaper, The Onion, comes their video “news” segments which look like a CNN news show. This one interviews a conspiracy theorist who believes the US Government perpetrated the 9/11 attacks even when confronted by a member of Al Queda who claims they did, in fact, do it. Really funny skewering of 9/11 conspiracy theories.

Wife Dies White House Press Secretary Spins Wife’s Death into Positive– Another video from The Onion. This video involves the White House Press Secretary giving a news conference after his wife’s death. When reporters begin asking questions about her death, he keeps trying to spin it back to the President’s agenda. Sad but funny, too.

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The Digital Audio Player celebrates its tenth birthday

Posted in Apple, pop culture, technology with tags Apple, iPod, technology on March 25, 2008 by Paxton

iPod Ad The ubiquitous Apple iPod has pretty much taken over the world. There are at least three versions of the main iPod and the device has become synonymous with “portable music player”. Many people say that it’s the best player out there and that they can’t live without their iPod. However, the iPod was not the first device to play portable music. In fact, the device that was the first digital audio player celebrates its 10th anniversary this month. Let’s rewind back to that much more innocent time, 1998. Ten years ago, there was no iPod, no iTunes and only one digital audio format, MP3.

The MP3 music encoding standard was developed by several different labs including Phillips and Bell Labs. This encoding went public in the mid-90s and with it’s ability to encode/compress large music files down to very small file sizes it would become extremely popular with the tech/audiophile crowd on the early internet. Nullsoft would release it’s WinAmp MP3 player in 1997 which would make MP3 encoding/playback available to the masses and caused the format to explode into the mainstream.

I remember first being introduced to the MP3 format and the WinAmp player in 1999. I was consulting in Tampa, FL and this guy burned me a CD of thousands of songs that I could just drag and drop from the CD to the WinAmp window and play on my laptop. The sound quality was unbelievable. I wondered when I’d have a way to listen to it in a portable device like my old Sony Walkman. What I didn’t realize was that my idea had already been created.

Roughly a year earlier, in March 1998, Eiger Labs imported the MPMan F10 from Japan, the first solid state portable audio player. It had only 32Mb of memory (by comparison, the iPod Shuffle has at least 1024Mb of memory) but if you sent it back to Eiger with 70 bucks, they’d up it to 64Mb. It, of course, would only play MP3 files because that is the only digital audio format that existed at the time. Despite being deceptively small, the MPMan F10 was not well received. A few months later Rio would release the PMP300 which would garner much better public opinion and sold fairly well. Both devices ran on regular AA batteries and needed replacing often. It was these two devices that helped usher in the age of digital music until the release of the Apple iPod’s 1st Generation player in October 2001.

This first generation iPod didn’t have the click wheel (or Touch Wheel) we have all become so familiar with as that particular feature wasn’t introduced until the third generation of the iPod in 2003. I remember the first iPod back then but I was unimpressed with them due to many technical problems, the most prominent being severe battery malfunctions. And since the battery was sealed inside, you had to return the entire unit for repair.

Instead of buying the brand spanking new iPod, I got the Archos Jukebox Recorder (pic below) for my birthday in May 2002. At the time, Apple had only just released the 10Gb iPod in March 2002, but the Archos Jukebox had a 20Gb hard drive and it was only about 100 bucks more (for quadruple the memory). Since iTunes wasn’t the online force it is today, buying the Archos was an easy decision. I was actually getting most of my music from Napster or Kazaa anyway so I had a ton of MP3s built up ready to load onto my new music player. I was set.

This player served me well for almost 3 years. I not only used it to store my music files, I also kept a lot of work/personal files on it while I was traveling as a consultant because there was so much room. There were problems with it though. The interface was clunky and nowhere near as elegant as Apple’s (and it tended to freeze requiring a reboot). The player itself was bulky and heavy. In 2005 I started running for exercise and using this player was like carrying around a paperback book made of solid steel; heavy and unwieldy. It made running long distances tough. I actually dropped it on my foot one day and I thought I broke my toe. That’s how heavy this thing is. Also, the hard drive was your traditional platter drive, so you could hear the humming like you do in a normal computer (the iPod had this also but their sound buffering is better). This thing was built like a tank. Nothing I did could break it. It still works, except the battery is pretty much at the end of it’s rechargeable cycles because I have to plug it into the wall to turn it on.

Luckily, for my birthday in 2006, I got my first iPod, the Shuffle. It’s perfect for running. Small, lightweight, easy to manipulate controls, it’s great. Makes running much more enjoyable.

So wherever you came in on the portable digital audio player time line, just remember, you are enjoying the fruits of labor of many people and many years of technolgy. Apple didn’t invent portable audio players, they just perfected them (in my opinion).

Technorati Tags – technology Apple iPod MP3 Player pop culture

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Octoberfest: My RateBeer.com ratings

Posted in beer, humor, ratebeer.com, reviews with tags beer, technology, websites on October 2, 2007 by Paxton

Well, it’s now October. Hard to believe. We are in the thrust of the college and pro football seasons and Halloween is right around the corner. Time flies when you are getting worked like a dog. The below article was written several weeks ago but I thought it would work better as the opening article for the month of October seeing as how it’s about beer. I have mentioned RateBeer.com before, but I thought it would be fun to delve a little deeper into it. Enjoy.

I joined RateBeer.com in 2005 with my friend Steve. We started rating our favorite beers and noticed that our tastes ran exactly opposite those of the most popular raters on the site. We like the light, American pale lager, whereas “beer snobs” tend to prefer the thick, dark sludge-like consistency of the European beers. So Steve and I started to write a bunch of “tongue in cheek” reviews blasting beer snob’s favorite beers and glowing reviews of the American lagers. It was all done in fun and even if no one else thought it was funny, he and I did.

Well, early in this blog’s life, I wrote about an incident I had with a beer snob at RateBeer.com back in 2005. He was an ass, we exchanged some emails, I got pissed and wrote a blog article about it. It was dumb, but it kinda got me off the site. Well, I went back recently to read some of my old beer reviews and I thought they were funny. These reviews were written before I had a blog, but it showed me I enjoyed writing and having fun with product reviews. I thought I would share a few of my reviews from that site so you can see what I was talking about.

Here you can see the main account page at RateBeer.com. My reviews are in the right hand grey column. My personal details are in the left hand yellow column. I have 39 reviews posted as of today. My last one was dated in October 2005. On your profile, RateBeer has you put a Beer Philosophy. Here’s what I wrote:

I prefer the lighter, American macro-brews. I like my women dark, not my beer.

That about sums it up, I think. RateBeer.com is a fun site to use, but some of the members can be a little snotty. They were probably snotty because the hardcore members were just irritated that I wasn’t taking it as seriously as they were. Regardless, the site is interesting to look through and read reviews, so check it out if you get a chance.

Now let’s take a look at some of my reviews. Here are several of my favorite beer reviews I wrote on RateBeer.com.

Bud Light – “My favorite beer and what I compare all other beers to. Crisp, clean American taste. After a few bottles I feel like running for President and invading a small totalitarian government!”

Bud Ice Light – “I didn’t think it was possible, but Bud made a beer lighter than Bud Light. This is like drinking out of the faucet. Really good for bar-b-ques. Why nurse your bottles of beer when you can drink a case of this and still be able to pilot the red-eye from New York to LA the next morning?”

Keystone Light – “This would normally go directly towards my beer interests, but it’s more uninteresting than it is good. Cheap, which I like, but boring, which I don’t.”

Milwaukee’s Best – “Ahh, the Blue Can of Death (BCoD). This is only worth a try if you are short on cash since a case of this crap only costs about 20 cents. And that’s for a reason. I can brew better beer in a used prison toilet.”

Samuel Adams Boston Ale – “I’m actually embarrassed this is an American beer. WTF?! It tastes like someone took a spoiled keg of beer and puked in it. I wouldn’t clean my toilet with this crap.”

Samuel Adams Boston Lager – “Another catastrophic failure for the Boston Beer Company. Heavy ass lager that tastes like I licked the bottom of an oak barrel. The only reason this gets a 3 in Flavor is because I tried it in Colonial Williamsburg on draft and managed to choke it down without throwing up bile the rest of the night.”

Sapporo Classic – “[A very] nice, Japanese beer. Thick with a heavy aftertaste, but goes down nice with a plate of fried rice and a cup of sake. Drop your cup of sake into a glass of this beer to create a Sake Bomber. Not responsible for you getting your drunk ass kicked out of the restaurant. ”

Amstel Light – “Not surprised this is brewed by Heineken. Bittersweet taste, not in a good way. Like Heineken, if I want to feel pretentious and snobby, I’ll stand in a bar holding a bottle of this, otherwise I ask for Bud Light. Is there an Amstel regular?”

Natural Light – “Great if you are on a budget and enjoy drinking stale tap water. One of my friend’s favorites, I’m thinking of dis-owning him.”

Natural Ice – “For those of you who thought regular Natural Lite was too bold and hopsy, here’s your beer. Holy crap, I get more of a taste from swallowing my own spit. It will get ya drunk, but so will swigging Nyquil.”

Foster’s – “Australian for ASS.”

Olde English 800 – “”8-Ball” I bought this beer because of the NWA song enumerating the virtues of drinking it. I was slightly disappointed. No ghetto hoes were butt-dancing in my grill after cracking open this malt liquor. I’d rather cap myself gansta-style than drink another bottle.”

King Cobra – “I really wish I could rate the taste of this beer. I bought a 32oz bottle of it in college and it was unceremoniously stolen by one of my friends. He left only a note saying he owes me one Nattie Light. Needless to say, I killed this friend.”

When I wrote these 2 years I ago, I thought they were funny, and I still think so. Most of them were really “tongue in cheek”, like I said. If I bashed one of your favorite beers, I really am sorry, but I hated it.

But what do I know, I’m a wine snob. 😉

Hey, how about an update? I’ll write a few new reviews right this very moment. Let’s go.

Monty Python’s Holy Grail Ale – “What is your name? Pax.
What is your quest? To taste Monty Python’s Holy Ale.
What did you think? It’s like being simultaneously punched in the face and kicked in the groin. It was so bitter I felt like I drank a box of alum like I was in a Tom & Jerry cartoon. Yes, Monty, you made a horrible beer, the joke is on me. Why dost thou forsake us?”

Miller Chill – “Is this what Miller thinks Mexican beer tastes like? Have they ever even BEEN to Mexico…..and I don’t mean the one at Disney Epcot. This beer tastes like lime Kool-Aid mixed with dirty water. While probably close to the taste of real Mexican drinking water, it tastes nothing like Mexican beer.”

LaBatt Blue – “Our Canadian friends have made a beer. That’s pretty much all I can say. This beer is like Chinese food. It’s good, but I forgot I drank it 5 min after I was finished. It’s the equivalent of a beer Etch-A-Sketch. Shake and erase…….then repeat. Although you got to love the commercials with the guy in the bear suit. Awesome.”

That’s it for this week. Hope you enjoyed the reviews. Till next time……BE COOL, MY BABIES!!!

Technorati Tags – beer reviews ratebeer humor Budweiser Miller

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Geek Elite: Hollywood’s best computer hackers

Posted in 24, computers, hackers, humor, movies, pop culture, TV shows with tags lists, movies, pop culture, technology on September 26, 2007 by Paxton

Computer Hacking Skills

Yes, I am a computer geek. It’s what I do for a living, it’s what I do for a hobby. So it’s nice to see a movie that has an entertaining, and skilled, computer hacker amongst it’s characters. It’s also entertaining to see computer hackers that conform to the stereotype we all have; socially inept boobs who live in our parent’s basement and do nothing but play video games and hack into companies’ databases.

With that in mind, I’ve compiled a list of who I think are the best computer hackers ever portrayed in a movie or tv show. My only criteria for choosing was that the geek in question actually exhibit some computer skills by hacking into something while onscreen and be somewhat entertaining. If his exploits are just alluded to or talked about, then no dice. So here is my list of Hollywood’s best computer hackers as seen by me. I’m sure there are a couple you think I’ve missed or neglected, so you can put your vote for your favorite in the comments.

Enjoy!

Lazlo Hollyfeld (movie, Real Genius) – How do you know you are pretty smart? An entire school of geniuses call you a genius, that’s how. That’s the position of one Lazlo Hollyfeld. After graduating Pacific Tech in the ’70s he retreats to an impressive secret laboratory we have to assume he built in the bowels of the school to…..well, they never actually say what he does down there. He helps some students reprogram the trajectory of a military laser to fire on the house of a professor. How cool is that? He’s become an urban legend around that school and that’s cool enough to put him on this list.

Wyatt Wyatt Donnelly (movie, Weird Science) – He built a chick with his computer and a Barbie doll. I say it again, HE BUILT A CHICK WITH HIS COMPUTER AND A BARBIE DOLL. Move to the front of the line, Wyatt.

Mr Universe Mr. Universe (movie, Serenity) – The ultimate in paranoid genius. This guy holes up in his hidden headquarters spying on everyone else. He has hookups to every government net and news feed in the universe (hence his moniker). He also built a robot as a girlfriend and then married it. I guess genius is a double edged sword.

Luther Luther Stickell (movie, Mission: Impossible) – The Net Ranger. Phineas Phreak. This is the only man alive that has hacked NATO Ghostcom. That’s impressive and I don’t even know what NATO Ghostcom is. Although, as Luther will point out, there was no evidence he had anything to do with that. He’s the Shaft of computer programmers. He’ll hack your computer, steal your identity and bank accounts, then beat you down for looking at him funny. He’s one bad mutha….SHUT YO MOUTH!

Marshall Flinkman (tv show, Alias) – Mr. Flinkman is a total computer geek. He loves gadgets and he is really good as the head tech at spy shop SD-6. However, he’s not always the most socially adept person in the room. When explaining the gadgets for the current mission he tends to get a little excited and might either a) branch WAY off topic or b) get WAY too technical. He did put his life on the line in several missions so he’s got some spy cred.

Chloe Chloe O’Brian (tv show, 24) – Chloe is the only person (let alone a chick) who can backtalk Jack Bauer and not come away with a hole in her leg, kneecap or chest. For that reason alone, she belongs on this list. Oh that and she’s sick with a computer. Need to break an unbreakable encryption in less than 5min? Call Chloe. Need to maneuver government satellites to a new position immediately? Call Chloe. Need to pull data off some electronic device that has been fried, shot up or destroyed? Call Chloe. She can do it all and treat you with complete and utter disdain at the same time. That’s so hot.

Stanley Stanley Jobson (movie, Swordfish) – Stanley might be the best looking and most in-shape computer programmer since, well…..me. His interview with Gabriel (John Travolta) in the club is proof that Stanley has got SKILLZ. Why doesn’t this ever happen to me?

Lyle Lyle (movie, Italian Job) – Lyle roomed with Napster creator Shawn Fanning in college where he claims Fanning stole the idea for Napster from him. Because of this, he will only answer to “The Real Napster”. As the tech brains of the crew, Lyle hacked into LA’s Dept of Transportation in order to change the lighting of the traffic signals to lead their target armored car exactly where they wanted it to go. In the end, all the boy wanted was enough money to buy a set of speakers so loud they blow women’s clothes off. A noble goal, my friend. A noble goal indeed.

David Lightman (movie, War Games) – One of the original gangsters of computer programming. You see the computer he used and what he did with it? He hacked his school, a computer gaming company and the US government, all with a computer that, today, would be akin to using an abacus to do your taxes. And he hooked up with Ally Sheedy when she was cute.

Kevin Flynn (movie, Tron) – Mr. Flynn was Neo before there was a Matrix. Flynn was so good his company, ENCOM, stole his video game designs, made millions off them, and then fired him. He has been trying to hack into their system ever since. He got sucked into the world of computers and was treated as a God. That’s gotta do a number on your ego.

Well, those are what, I believe to be, the best hackers ever put to screen. Some people will harp on me not including Neo from the Matrix on this list. My argument is that his hacking skills were really only talked about in the movie. You never really see him hack into anything. He does some vaguely hackerish stuff right before he meets Trinity, but that’s it. I’m more impressed with the gentleman above. Also, all the characters from the 1995 movie Hackers are complete jack-holes, so I refuse to include them here.

That about covers it. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Holley….OUT.

Technorati Tags – computers TV Shows hackers movies pop culture

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Those wily Japanese: Pepsi Ice Cucumber and Seafood Pringles! Release of Apple iPhone

Posted in Apple, food, humor, iPhone, Pepsi, random, reviews, soda with tags Apple, iPhone, Japan, Pepsi, Pringles, soda, technology on June 29, 2007 by Paxton

Hey, guys, I’m back for another Friday update. I was hoping to get a full article out this week, but that didn’t happen. Instead you get this quick multi-level update. I would like to use these Friday entries to hit you with a veritable kaleidescope of items all at once…to “pepper” you with goodness on this last day of the week. Hope you enjoy.

Well, today marks the birth of the single most awaited electronic gadget since the Motorola Razr was released back in 2004. Remember when the Razr phones were originally priced at $799 without a 2 year contract? Crazy, cause now you can get them for free. I’m on my second one. Anywho, Apple will finally release the iPhone to the sweaty, eager masses today at 6pm. The media blitz leading up to this release has been on overdrive. If the news isn’t talking about Paris Hilton, then it’s been talking about the iPhone release. People have been lining up at Apple and AT&T stores all week waiting to get their hands on this electronic slice of nirvana. However, I do wonder how many of these people that are lining up plan on actually keeping the phone or are they going to unceremoniously dump it to eBay with a 300% markup? Shades of the PS3, me thinks. The phone looks cool, but I’ll wait for the early adopters to test it out for me to see if I’ll like it.

Those crazy Japanese. They have the strangest flavors of American food products over there. Sushi ice-cream. Really? WTF?! However, if I found that stuff here while I was at the grocery store without my wife, you can bet your sweet hind-quarters I’d buy it. I’m kooky like that. I most assuredly wouldn’t like it, but I’d try it anyway. Similar to this phenomenon, cucumber flavored drinks are becoming very popular over there. In fact, Pepsi recently released Pepsi Ice Cucumber in Japan to much fanfare. Thanks to the magic of the ‘inter-tubes’, I was able to procure a bottle of the mystical green elixir (you knew I would) and it’s ‘go-time’ for a taste test. If you are a regular reader of this site then cucumber soda shouldn’t be too big a shock to your system. Back in February I reviewed sodas that tasted like celery and chocolate fudge. How bad can this be, really…………oh sweet, Mary Francis this is worse than anything in that last article. I thought that ICE cucumber meant it was a cool, refreshing drink, but it actually means that there is a hint of mint in the flavor. Yes, MINT cucumber soda. Imagine making a cold cucumber salad, but instead of mayonnaise you soaked it in a bottle of Scope mouthwash…..and then puked in it. That’s what it tastes like. My lord, I think the soda is actually trying to fight its way back OUT of my stomach. Why do I do this to myself? The soda itself is a nice, pretty anit-freeze green color. It almost looks radioactive. It probably is.

Well, as if that self-induced bit of flagellation wasn’t enough, I also procured a can of Pringles from Japan. So what, I hear someone in the back yelling at me? Yes, I answer to that same non-believer. Pringles. Garlic Seafood Pringles. Go ahead, rub your eyes, shake your head, you read that correctly. GARLIC. SEAFOOD. PRINGLES. To further illustrate the point, there are pictures of shrimp and oysters on the can. Awesome. Okay bright blue can of seafood potato chips……”let’s do this”. The first taste of chip after going in the mouth is surprisingly mild. Not a hint of sea—-wait a sec, there it is. Shrimp taste hitting me now like a metal pole to the genitals. Oh lord, I’m getting nauseous. That’s not good. Man alive, I might be spewing seafood chips and cucumber soda all over my computer in a sec. Cripes, WTF is with the Japanese and their taste buds? Do they enjoy engaging their gag reflexes? I feel like I’m on an episode of Fear Factor. Makes me wish I would have opted for the Grilled Bacon flavored Pringles.

Man, I could use a Silkwood shower after trying those. Pepsi Ice Cucumber may be the 21st Century version of castor oil. Grilled Seafood Pringles may be the 21st Century version of getting molested by your Uncle. STAY. AWAY.

Hope you have a good weekend. Me, I’m going to need the two days to get over the nightmares and full body heaving caused by the above two products.

See you on the other side.

Technorati Tags – Pepsi Pepsi Ice Cucumber food humor iPhone

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