Archive for McDonald’s

I’m in Time Magazine. WHAT. UP.

Posted in blogging, Hula Burger, McDonald's, pop culture, reviews, Time Magazine with tags , , , on September 25, 2008 by Paxton

Okay, I noticed a serious jump in my blog stats the other day and I took a look to see what the hell just happened.  Looking at my page views I see this:

A huge amount of traffic was being sent by an outside link to my article about failed McDonald’s sandwiches: The Golden Archives.  This article usually gets some hits but it was blowin’ up, yo, sur-iously.  So I clicked in to find the sites that link to it and I noticed this.

The most hits were coming from I was like, “ WTF? Not THE” Yes, THE I clicked the link and was greeted with an article on listing the top 50 Authentic American Experiences. Surprisingly, my blog is NOT one of the 50 Authentic American experiences.   I don’t know why.  How much more AMERICAN, or more of an EXPERIENCE, can this blog be?  And by American, I obviously mean AWESOME.  Here’s the page in question.

Within this article they are discussing the Big Mac Museum, which I would agree is an authentic American experience. In the very first sentence Time friggin’ Magazine (I say again…WHAT. UP.) sees fit to link to my blog.

Check out the Hula Burger link. That goes to my Golden Archives article here. How about that, sixth grade English teacher who said I wrote like a blind second grader? HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?! Actually, my sixth grade English teacher didn’t say that, but she did throw a shoe across the room at a classmate. That is true. But she didn’t say I wrote like a blind second grader…I think she said epileptic first grader. But that’s beside the point because I can now bill myself as if I won an Academy Award. Like Academy Award Winner Sir Anthony Hopkins. I can now call myself Time Magazine referenced Sir Paxton Holley. Well, I added the Sir, but I have no problems going to jolly Olde England for the knighting ceremony. I’ll even pay for my own flight. You hear me Queen Mother? Hello?

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Posted in fast food, food, McDonald's, pop culture, St. Patrick's Day with tags , , , on March 14, 2008 by Paxton
Shamrock Shake 1Shamrock Shake 5

The Shamrock Shake is like the Loch Ness Monster. You either believe it exists or you don’t, some people catch a glimpse of one but some never do…and they are both green. This year, I was a lucky one. I was able to capture a Shamrock Shake and hold on for dear life as if drinking this holy liquid would grant me immortality. And judging from the taste, it may just have.

The Shamrock Shake is an interesting animal. According to McDonald’s, it was introduced in 1970, which is much older than I thought. However, the McDonald’s site also says they are only available in Ireland, so, Ronald may have put a bit too much “Irish” into his shake, if you get what I’m sayin’ (In case you don’t know what I’m saying, I’m saying that Ronald McDonald put too much whiskey in his Shamrock Shake, therefore he is drunk and can’t remember the truth…). It seems many McDonald’s in certain markets across the country still sell Shamrock Shakes for a few months surrounding St. Patty’s Day. It’s the ultimate celebration of all things green and Irish.

Back in the day, the Shamrock Shake got lots of publicity push. There were several commercials and they even created a special McDonaldLand character to represent it. He was Grimace’s uncle, he was green and from Ireland. Behold the beautiful visage of Uncle O’Grimacey!!!

Uncle O'Grimacey

I am not kidding, that was a real character. Don’t believe me, click here for Uncle O’Grimacey’s McDonald’s commercial on YouTube. You can hear him in all his fake Irish accent-y glory. While researching a bit more, I found out that not only was there a Shamrock Shake, McDonald’s also created a Shamrock Sundae! Green, minty syrup was poured on top of a normal sundae in order to transform it into something appropriately Gaelic. I didn’t remember the Shamrock Sundae, but there’s proof. Click here for the Shamrock Shake/Sundae commercial on YouTube, or check the picture below from that commercial. Very, very cool. I wish they still sold the sundae version. Looks YUMMY!

Shamrock Shake 4

Last year, I searched high and low for one of these babies and was left empty-handed. There are like 4 McDonald’s around where I work and not one of them sold the mythic shake. Late last year, though, a brand new McDonald’s opened right by where I live. I was hopeful. And just the other day, I was going through the drive-thru and lo and behold…I saw the ad for the Shamrock Shake!!! When I ordered it, I’m sure it sounded indecipherable. Something like,

“HihelloIseeyouhavetheShamrockShake.CanIhaveaShamrockShake?Huh, Please?SHAMROCKSHAKESHAMROCKSHAKESHAMROCKSHAKESHAMROCKSHAKE!!!”

The guy must have thought I was a loony. That was all forgotten though, when he handed me my ice cold Shamrock Shake as if he were the Lady in the Lake and I was Arthur waiting to retrieve Excalibur for the first time. Check out the awesome green-ness of this shake! It’s a sight to behold.

Shamrock Shake 1Shamrock Shake 1

And the taste is just as good as the pictures. It’s essentially their vanilla shake mixed with mint flavoring and green coloring…and it’s AWESOME! Everything I dreamed it would be. Try dipping Girl Scout Thin Mints into it for an extra treat.

Well, that’s enough schoolgirl gushing about a minty green milkshake. Hope you are successful in finding your Shamrock before, or on, St. Patty’s Day! I’m sure my friend Collier will try to order his with that fake Irish accent that he thinks sounds like Colin Ferrell but really sounds like Will Ferrell impersonating a leprechaun.

Hope everyone has a great St. Patty’s Day. And go find your Shamrock Shake!!

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The Golden Archives: McDonalds Sandwich Hall of Fame

Posted in food, humor, McDonald's, pop culture, reviews with tags , , on August 21, 2007 by Paxton

Old McDonalds signWhile perusing the internets looking for McDonalds commercials the other week, I also found some cool information on weird sandwiches that McDonalds either used to serve, or serves in other countries that we don’t know about. McDonalds foreign and regional menus can bring a decidedly different feel to the American so used to the menu here in the states. First, lets take a look at a few sandwiches that have come and gone from the mostly static McDonalds menu. After these forgotten sandwiches, let’s take a look at some regional/foreign Mickey D’s delicacies you may not know about. It’s fascinating what people in other places love to eat.

HulaBurgerYes, this was actually on the McDonalds’ menu in the mid-1960s. Ray Kroc noticed that he was losing lots of sales on Fridays. When he realized that Catholics don’t eat meat on Fridays, he decided he needed to come up with a non-meat replacement for hamburgers. His first choice? The Hula Burger. It consisted of a bun, a piece of cheese and a slice of pineapple. That’s it. Sounds kinda kooky, and it was. Unfortunately, people wanted real food and not just toppings on their sandwich so the Hula Burger flopped. A popular phrase during the time was, “I love the Hula, but where’s the burger?” Lou Groen, owner of a Cincinnati based McDonalds, created the Filet-O-Fish and when the Hula-Burger crashed and burned Kroc had to try it on the menu. The fish sandwich was a winning success and has been there ever since.

McJordanAhh, the McJordan. When MJ was shilling for McDonalds in the early ’90s there wasn’t anything they wouldn’t slap his name on. The McJordan burger was the most famous. A quarter-pounder with cheese, BBQ sauce and TWO onion rings adorned this artery clogging heart attack machine. That silence you hear is the stopping of many people’s hearts upon eating this chunk of meat and cholesterol. Yikes. I remember my friend Steve got this one time and he snuck it into the movie. When he opened the bag the overwhelming smell of BBQ sauce and beef nearly made me hurl…that would then have caused a chain reaction of ralphing not unlike the pie-eating scene in Stand By Me. Luckily I have a strong gag reflex.

The McJordan brings to mind the 1993 promotion between McDonalds and the movie Jurassic Park. McDonalds added the “Dino-Size” your meal option to its menus. The Dino-sized version of the quarter pounder with cheese was the DOUBLE quarter pounder. My friends and I called it the McDeath, because to eat it would cause immediate cardiac arrest. I actually ate it once, and was sick the rest of the night. Oh the memories. This was actually the first time I remember seeing the Double Quarter-Pounder with Cheese on the menu. Did you know that at one time you could order a McDonalds POUNDER? It’s was 4 quarter pound beef patties on one sandwich. Tell me your arteries didn’t clot just reading that sentence.

McDLTI know you remember this one, the McDLT (McDonalds Lettuce and Tomato). The funky styrofoam container is a dead giveaway. It keeps the hot side hot and the cool side cool. Interesting gimmick for a burger with just lettuce and tomato. Check out a very-80s commercial for it starring Jason Alexander (George Costanza). I don’t remember ever eating it, but it looked like it was good.

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Awesome McDonald’s Commercials I Remember

Posted in food, humor, McDonald's, pop culture with tags , , , , on August 8, 2007 by Paxton

McDI’ve have been going crazy the last few days looking up McDonald’s stuff. YouTube, Google Images, Flickr, X-Entertainment, anything I can find about Mickey D’s house of beef. I find this place unbelievably fascinating. It’s not just the food, though, it’s the whole McDonald’s mystique. The whole history, advertising, menu and pop culture influences of the world’s greatest fast food chain is endlessly interesting and entertaining. Oh, I won’t eat there, mind you, especially after watching Super Size Me. I still love the burgers and fries, but I feel so guilty eating them after watching that documentary.

Not many other fast food chains have created an entire world named after itself filled with colorful life-size puppet characters that love to eat fast food. Not just love to eat it, but live to eat it. It’s insane. The McDonaldland characters almost deserve their own article here on my blog, and they just might get it the way this week has been going, but today I’m going to show you some of my favorite McDonald’s commercials that I remember as a kid. The ones I watched over and over on Saturday mornings and weekday afternoons. I found so many good memories while surfing YouTube the other day that I thought I’d share. Maybe you remember them too. I’ll also include, at the end, some other funny or classic commercials I came across in my digging. Enjoy!

Commercial #1 – Larry Bird vs Michael Jordan – The Showdown


Classic. One of my all-time favorites. Mostly because I have a stalker-like, awkward love for Larry Bird. Seeing Jordan and Bird face off in the ultimate game of horse for Jordan’s bag of burgers is awesome. This commercial even inspired a sequel or two that included Charles Barkley. This was back when the NBA was still cool. What happened? Click here for the commercial

Commercial #2 – Mac Tonight

Mac Tonight

This particular commercial is the one I first thought of when I decided to write this article. The character and song in the commercial display an unbelievably cool vibe, especially for McDonalds. Mac singing Sinatra-style on top of a giant burger like some Vegas lounge act gone crazy. Wonderful! I still love this commercial and the song. The production values are ridiculously high. Check out the giant McDonald’s/box of fries towards the middle. So cool. Click here for the commercial. I believe there were a couple of different versions of this commercial using the same song including one where Mac is singing inside a rollercoaster as he rolls around and in-between yummy McDonald’s food.

This commercial was actually redone this year with updated song and CGI animation. Click here for it. It’s pretty good, but not as good as the original. Nothing like seeing a dude in a quarter-moon costume that can only move it’s mouth.

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