Cavalcade of Awesome

In a move that furthers my theory that eventually, all companies will be owned by two or three giant corporations, Belgian beer makers, InBev, announced that they had purchased American owned Anheiser-Busch this week for $70 a share (or about $50 billion…yes, billion with a ‘B’).  Anheiser-Busch had scoffed at a previous offer, only to back pedal and fall all over themselves when the Belgians threw even more money at them.  In order to stifle concerns about a foreign company owning a traditionally American company, spokesman said the headquarters will remain in St. Louis, no American breweries should be closed and 2 seats on the Board at InBev are reserved for Anheiser-Busch executives.

Should be interesting to see how the Belgians handle the Budweiser brand.  Will working class Americans still drink Bud now that it’s technically a Belgian import like Stella Artois or Beck’s?  Will Europeans drink the lighter, watery Bud beers despite traditionally enjoying the darker, heavier brands?  It’s a risk all around for InBev, which will now be called Anheiser-Busch InBev.  Nice name.  More importantly, however, will the Belgians be able to continue Budweiser’s tradition of their always classic and hilarious TV advertisements?  I’m concerned because the Belgians’ sense of humor is not exactly world reknowned.

In preparation for the immediate stoppage of funny Budweiser commercials, I thought I’d take a look back at some of my favorite Budweiser commercials from years past.  It’s funny, doing research for this I realized there were several commercials that I thought were Bud commercials, but weren’t.  There was also one I couldn’t find.  It involved a guy on a date in a Chinese restaurant and he spots a hottie at another table.  He proceeds to order his food loudly by entree number (because most Chinese places number their dishes) so as to spell out his phone number, “I’ll have a FIVE and another FIVE and a TWO and one of the THREE….”  It was pretty funny, however I couldn’t find it.

So here are some of my favorite Bud commercials.  Click the commercial titles and/or images to see them on YouTube.

Swear Jar – This is one of the more recent commercials.  I think it aired two years ago during the Super Bowl.  Watching people in an office cursing at every opportunity just makes me laugh.  Also, watching the boss’ tirade in the meeting had me on the floor.  Great commercial.

Brazilian Fighting Cockatoo – I love this commercial.  I think this aired three or four years ago. It stars a fighting cockatoo bird that acts like Al Pacino in Scarface.  The cockatoo actually first appeared in this commercial, where he was protecting his master’s Bud Light.  I think I like the one in the bar where he’s protecting a lady from an unwanted suitor.  “Step Back? I step all the way back to Hackensack, my friend!” I wonder who is doing the Al Pacino impression?

Cut the Cheese – This commercial was supposed to air during the last Super Bowl, I think, but it was cut at the last minute.  I’m not sure why they didn’t show it.  I think it aired the next week a few times but hasn’t been seen since.  It’s actually really funny how they work in several different euphemisms throughout the commercial and I love that it takes place in a deli somewhere in New York or New Jersey.  This could be a lost episode of the Sopranos.

Jackie Moon TV Spots – Earlier this year Will Ferrell did some TV spots for Bud Light in character as Jackie Moon from his movie Semi-Pro.  The movie was only so-so, but this commercial spot was HILARIOUS.  Here’s another one here.  Semi-Pro just came out on DVD, so I may give it another chance because I didn’t think Anchorman was funny the first time but now I love it. I bet most of these tv spots were improvised.  “Bud Light, Suck One”.  “Bud Light.  I’m horny”.

Dude – This is a simple one, but it plays on the versatility of the word ‘dude’.  Very simple, yet very funny.

Apology-bot 3000 – There were a few of these Apology-bot commercials but I like this one with the guy apologizing to his girlfriend the best.  I love the little balloon at the end that says “My Bad!” on it.  LOL.  Here’s another one set in a Japanese restaurant.

Bud Ice Penguins – Allright, I’ll end with this one.  A classic from the mid-’90s, the Bud Ice Penguins.  Doo-Be-Do-Be-Doooooooooo!  Here’s another one.  These penguins were creepy yet funny at the same time.

I found many more that I thought were hilarious but I didn’t want to go on and on.  Some honorable mentions?  How about Magic Fridge?  Or this one featuring a mother telling her soon to be married daughter how to make her marriage last?  There’s also the “WHAAAAAASUUUUUUUP” (“What Are YOU Doing!?“) series of commercials and the Real Men of Genius ads that I get so much enjoyment from (Mr Over the Top Carb Counter).  Maybe I can even do a followup to this article.  We’ll see.

Have a good weekend everyone.  I’m off to Atlanta to join my wife at one of her friend’s wedding.