Archive for 2007

Quick History of the American Candy Bar

Posted in candy, food, pop culture with tags , on February 9, 2007 by Paxton

So, I’ve been in training this week. Yes, again. This particular week we are learning about PeopleSoft Billing and Accounts Receivable. Awesome, huh? I get goose-bumps just talking about it. Seriously, the atmosphere in this class is like the encore at a Lynard Skynard concert. They just started singing Free Bird, lighters are lit and raised, people are losing their minds. It’s almost a religious experience. Oh yeah, I’m completely lying, it’s as boring as last week.

Since the class is so boring, Winn-Dixie is providing a jar of candy to keep us all buzzed on sugar. So not only am I losing consciousness due to lack of interest, I can also hear myself getting fatter eating fist fulls of chocolate trying to stay wake. Seeing as how I’m slowly being bored to death and fattened up by my company, I could just copy and paste last week’s article into this week’s article and be done with it. But you, my readers deserve better.

I was approached recently by my mother-in-law to research and write an article about candy bars. I guess she and HER mother were discussing candy bars they remember from their childhood and wanted to know a little bit about their history and what was the first candy bar. I’ve done that research and the accompanying article is below. It’s fitting that I write this article while shoveling obscene amounts of miniature Hershey bars into my mouth. Enjoy.

Chocolate itself has been enjoyed, as a drink, since the early 16th century. Montezuma, ruler of the Aztecs, the conquistador Cortez, and many of the royal families in Spain have enjoyed drinking chocolate as a beverage. It wasn’t until the mid-19th century in England that chocolate was consumed as a non-liquid confection. Actual bars of chocolate start showing up in the late 1800s. Candy shops would sell off chunks of excess chocolate from their store supplies in order to wring every last penny out of their inventory.

At the 1893 Columbian Exhibition in Chicago, Milton Hershey would purchase his first chocolate making machinery (up to this point, he only made caramel) and set up shop in Lancaster, PA (later moved to Derry Church, PA). His first Hershey bars would show up a year or so later and get national distribution by the end of the century. This is not to say that other candy bars weren’t around by this point, but it is generally believed that the Hershey bar is the first and oldest still-produced chocolate bar in the world. Other American companies would mix in ingredients like peanuts, caramel, fruit, etc. through the start of 1900, but the chocolate bar wouldn’t really take off in popularity until after World War I.

During WWI, the Army had chocolate manufacturers send 40 pound chocolate blocks that would then be cut into individual-sized bars and given to soldiers in Europe. After the war, when all the soldiers returned home, they had fond memories of those chocolate bars and started buying them. This caused a major boom in the chocolate industry and by the 1920s over 40,000 different chocolate bars could be bought across the country.

That was essentially how the whole candy bar business was born. Let’s take a look at some of the more interesting trivia tidbits of these candy bars.

In 1920, the Curtiss Candy Company started producing the Baby Ruth candy bar. Since that time, the origin of the bar’s name has been debated over and over. The official story is that Baby Ruth is named after the daughter of former President Grover Cleveland. Another story contends that the company was looking to capitalize on Babe Ruth’s popularity without paying royalties. Which is true? We may never know, BUT let’s look at some facts. Baby Ruth was introduced in 1920. Grover Cleveland’s last year of office was in 1897, 23 years prior. Grover’s daughter, Ruth, died at age 12, 16 years prior. Babe Ruth was traded from the Red Sox to the Yankees in 1920 and was coming into the height of his popularity. It may all be coincidence. Apparently Ruth Cleveland was born in-between Grover’s two terms in office and, at the time, was a national sensation. Why, though, it took 16 years to get a candy bar named after her, I don’t know. It’s also said that the bar was named after the granddaughter of one of the original formula’s developers. Since he was a nobody, the whole story was concocted as a marketing gimmick. That one is interesting too, but it’s all speculation at this point. An interesting footnote, in order to combat the mis-use of his nickname, Babe Ruth released a candy bar officially endorsed by him. Click here to see the wrapper.

I’ve always enjoyed the “look” of the Zero bar (see pic). I don’t know if you’ve ever had one, but it looks cool, even if it tastes a little weird. I always wondered why they called it Zero. What’s zero? Calories? No. Fat? No. WHAT?! Well, if you look here you can see an early version of the Zero wrapper that shows the original idea was that it was a “cool” treat, as in “zero” degrees cool. Get it? Haha, that’s so dorky.

Did you know 3 Musketeers was originally three small candy bars in one package, hence the name? Also, each bar had a different flavor (chocolate, vanilla and strawberry). Interesting how that concept got lost, huh? Now, the 3 Musketeers bar is a flat taffy-like candy. WTF?!

Well, class, that’s it for today. My information/research came mostly from Wikipedia and the National Confectioners Association website. Also check out The Candy Wrapper Museum and Mike’s Candy Wrapper Page for great images of some of your favorite candies and their packaging. All of those sites are very informative.

Me, I gotta get back to acting like I’m not falling asleep. Oh, by the way, today is my friend Steve’s birthday. Let’s all wish the old sonova ‘B’ a happy one. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEVE!!!

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I’m in Training. Glorious, Glorious Training.

Posted in humor, personal, work with tags on February 1, 2007 by Paxton

Take a look at the picture to the left. Was this picture taken in like 1978? What’s with the tri-fold Science Fair display in the back? Or the easel with the paper and permanent marker? Wow, that’s old school. That’s how the people who worked during the Crusades had on-the-job training. Hard to imagine right? I’m used to sitting in stadium seating like you are at the big game. I’m used to Powerpoint presentations that look like they were directed by Michael Bay. I’m used to a table of bagels and muffins in the back with the 30 different kinds of cream cheese (do we really need a pistachio cream cheese? Really?). Things have come a long way since the Golden Days of training. You wouldn’t know this, however, if you sat in on training with me this week. Actually, staring at that picture is more exciting than the class I’m in right now. Watching the grass grow would be more exciting.

But, Pax, you say, you are learning new skills, broadening your horizons. Nay, I say, NAY. I am dying a slow death, twitching and spasming like a fish on land. The training class is attempting to teach me about the functional implementation of PeopleSoft General Ledger…….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……Wha?! Huh?! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I think I dozed off telling you about it. You see what I mean?

Since the instructor is going to continue to talk, let’s take a tour around the classroom.

training1.jpg

Here’s a picture of my instructor teaching. He manages to drone on about General Ledger concepts as if they were old friends. “Hey, I remember when Balance Sheet and I got hammered and peed in the water supply of a small town in West Virginia! Those were the days!” That just was a fictionalized example. I had to make it more exciting so you wouldn’t lose consciousness reading it. You get the idea, though. He is so dry and boring and he keeps stammering through his sentences. He peppers his lectures with uhhs, ahhs and umms. When he talks, he literally sounds like this:

mumblemumblemumbleUHHmumbleJOURNALSmumbleUMMMmumblemumbleLEDGERS
mumblemumbleAHHHmumbleSPREADSHEETS

You think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. How productive can I be listening to that? Answer: Not very.

training_shoes1.jpg

 

So, here’s a picture of my shoe. I got bored watching and listening to our instructor so I just stared staring at my shoe. Pretty boring, right? This was better than the class.

 

training_cables1.jpg

 

Here’s a grouping of cables sitting on my desk. These cables became good friends of mine while the instructor started talking about transaction codes and how they map to journal entry lines. During that lesson, he actually used the phrase “…service my intraunit…” Look, buddy, I don’t know what you like to do with your intraunit, but keep it out of the classroom. Yikes.

Also, whenever an unexpected result happened during one of the instructors “demonstrations”, he says “that’s interesting”. Trust me, dude, it’s not. In fact, it’s anti-interesting. If what you just did and interesting were to ever come in contact, the entire universe would explode. Seriously. It’s one of Newton’s Laws. Look it up.

So, that’s what I’ve been doing this week. Thought I’d let you feel my pain. If you have any pity left in your heart, point it my way. I’m losing consciousness quick.

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Oscars Wild: Oscar nominations for 2006

Posted in Academy Awards, humor, movies, Oscars with tags , , , , on January 25, 2007 by Paxton

Oscars Wild!

Well, it’s mid-January and everyone should be girding their loins for two of my favorite beginning-of-the-year events. First is the SuperBowl on Feb 4. My boy Peyton Manning takes on the phenomenal defense of the Chicago Bears. Should be a good matchup. After the SuperBowl is the Academy Awards.

Being movie buffs, the wife and I love the Oscars. For several years we threw Oscars parties and everyone would contribute 5 bucks to the betting pool. We printed out ballots and had everyone select who they thought the winners were going to be and the one with the most points wins the whole she-bang. As a tie breaker you had to pick the running time of the show without going over. It’s a lot of fun and makes categories like Best Foreign Language Film or Documentary Feature a little more exciting. We didn’t throw the party last year but we are thinking about doing it this year.

Well, the Oscar nominations were announced on Tuesday. As usual, there are some oversights and a few, “They nominated wha?!”. Since I obviously know better than the Academy, I thought I’d take a stroll through some of the academy’s decisions this year. You may disagree with many or all of my comments, but these are only my opinions. We may very well have wildly differing tastes in movies. I just ask that you take this list in jest. Moving on to some nominees…..


Best Leading Actor:
Leonardo DiCaprio – Blood Diamond – This is nice, but I would have put his performance in The Departed here instead. He’s good in Blood Diamond, but better in The Departed.
Ryan Gosling – Half Nelson – The dude from Notebook was in another movie? Who knew?
Peter O’Toole – Venus – This is a fabulous choice by the Academy, as O’Toole is a fine actor. It’s too bad I’ve never even HEARD of the movie Venus. Is it about the planet, or the goddess of love? And why should I care?
Will Smith – Pursuit of Happyness – Does it bother anyone else that they misspelled Happiness in the movie title? Anyone?
Forest Whitaker – The Last King of Scotland – What’s with the wierd movie titles? Forest plays Idi Amin who, last I checked, was black and not from Scotland.

Best Leading Actress:
Penelope Cruz – Volver – Um. Okay. Did I go to bed and wake up in Spain? WTF?! Yahoo Movies says it’s a generational story of three women set in Spain. It might as well have said ‘Don’t Watch Me, I Suck’.
Judi Dench – Notes on a Scandal – I think Judi Dench puts in all of her contracts that she will be nominated for her performance. That’s just how she rolls.
Helen Mirren – The Queen – Excellent choice. Saw this last weekend. Phenomenal performance.
Meryl Streep – The Devil Wears Prada – The Devil Wears Prada is now an oscar nominated movie? I think Meryl Streep might also be on the must-nominate list. She could star in the auto-biography of Carrot-Top, playing Carrot-Top, and still be nominated.
Kate Winslet – Little Children – I love Kate Winslet. She’s gorgeous and a wonderful actress. However, despite being in roughly 20 movies since Titanic in 1997, off the top of my head I can remember only 2. Of those 2 I can remember, I’ve seen only 1. This isn’t either one of those.

Best Picture:
Babel – Even the trailers for this look bad. The plot description on Internet Movie Database begins ‘A poor Morrocan family acquires a rifle to protect their goats…’ Sounds like a winner, but I’ll be in Theater 2 watching Pirates of the Caribbean 3.
The Departed – This is what I’m talkin’ bout, Academy. More like this, please.
Letters from Iwo Jima – I can understand why this made it. I haven’t seen it, but I don’t like war movies, or war veteran movies, so I have no interest. You could also substitute United 93 or World Trade Center here. Same thing.
Little Miss Sunshine – I’m speechless that this little gem of a movie made it to Best Picture. Wonderful cast, funny dialogue, crazy situations. Something the Academy should recognize more. Nicely done.
The Queen – Another wonderfully acted movie. I’m happy that Mirren is recognized above, but I’m sad Michael Sheen who plays Tony Blair is not also recognized (as Supporting Actor, not Best Actress). He is just as good as Mirren.

Best Director:

Babel – Goat protecting gets a best director. Really?
The Departed – Scorsese. Represent, yo!
Letters from Iwo Jima – Sentimental. Patriotic. Yada yada.
The Queen – Good choice.
United 93 – Wha? So you are saying Little Miss Sunshine is a better movie but United 93 has a better director? Whatever, dude.

Some quick shots on other categories:

Mark Wahlberg in The Departed for Supporting Actor? Not that he was bad, but his character disappears halfway through the movie. A better choice would have been Jack Nicholson in The Departed. He was awesome (and I don’t really even like him). I’m a little sad that no other actor in The Departed is recognized for their performance. They were all spot on.

The movie An Inconvenient Truth got a nod for Best Original Song? It’s a documentary. About the weather. I guess Dreamgirls didn’t have a fourth song to nominate.

Borat got a nom for Best Adapted Screenplay? ADAPTED? From what? Is there a Borat novel out there I’m unaware of? Or a Broadway play, maybe?

I’m loving that American Idol alum Jennifer Hudson has a nomination for Best Supporting Actress and Beyonce “You Must Not Know ’bout Me” Knowles got nothing.

As usual the Academy nominated a bunch of stuff most of America will never get to see, so it keeps things interesting. Bottom line, like what you like, not what the Academy tells you to like. If Dreamgirls is your Best Picture, then so be it. If Borat was your Best Picture, then fine. No one can tell you what a better movie is. It’s all subjective.

Regardless, this year should be a good broadcast. Check it out on February 25, 2007 at 8pm EST.

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Jack. Is. Back.

Posted in 24, humor, Jack Bauer, reviews, TV, TV shows with tags , , on January 18, 2007 by Paxton


Well, for those in the know, 24 started on Sunday night with a 2 hour season premier extravaganza. It continued with another 2 hour free-for-all on Monday night. It’s official, Season 6 has begun, and I am hooked…AGAIN.

This year, Jack has already escaped from Chinese torture, been traded by our government to a terrorist in order to be killed, barely escaped a military air strike and watched a nuclear bomb detonate just outside Los Angeles. And that’s just in the first four hours. Sweet Jesus, what’s going to happen in the next 20 hours? Tune in Monday nights to find out, my friends.

Jack Bauer gets put in the worst situations. I have no idea how the guy is still sane, much less alive. He’s willingly become an enemy of the government, tortured and killed civilians and foreigners (guilty and innocent), and pretty much given up the possibility of a normal life outside his job all to serve his President (whoever that may be at any given time). Yet, despite all his sacrifices, key people in the government STILL do not trust or believe him. Jack could be sent by the government on a suicide mission to capture the head of a terrorist organization, somehow manages to gain the upper hand against 20 heavily armed men, kill only the people in the room that was necessary while maybe seriously injuring a few others, gain critical information from the terrorists (that will eventually save the government’s ass) yet when he presents this critical information to the higher-ups, he is believed by maybe 3 out of 10 people. THREE out of ten people. WTF?! BUT, to be fair, the 3 out of the 10 people that believe him, are the ones that matter. It’s those holy trinity of individuals who help Jack covertly carry out his job despite the ever looming possibility that those helpers will be fired, or worse, killed. The other seven of ten people are politicians with hidden agendas trying to keep Jack from yet again saving the world. That’s the wonderful bitter irony of this show. Jack Bauer will save the day, even if the politicians of this country don’t really want him to. What chance do pasty politicians have, Jack’s survived 2 nuclear bombs for chrissake. TWO. Ya betta recognize.

Steph asked me the other night who I would want with me trapped in the woods being hunted by terrorists, Jack Bauer or MacGuyver? Great, great question. I had to think about this one. Either way you are leaving those woods alive, the only difference is, with Jack Bauer, the terrorists won’t. MacGuyver would fashion a distracting bomb out of dirt and tree sap then figure a way to signal for help from a passing military plane. Jack, would ambush the terrorists, gut them like fish, then torture the leader until he told the location of the nuclear bomb, the terrorist hideout, his atm code and his favorite hat. The only problem is, when Jack returns to base, his bosses are going to laugh at the information he received as unreliable. Poor, pitiful bureaucrats.

For those that don’t know, 24 airs on Monday nights.

For some fun, random facts about Jack Bauer click here. Hit F5 after reading the fact to get a new one.

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Fun With Yahoo! Avatars

Posted in avatars, Elvis, humor, internet, random, technology, Yahoo with tags , , on January 10, 2007 by Paxton

Avatars are pretty cool. They are little graphical representations of yourself you can use in Internet chats, fantasy sports or any website that uses a profile. Some people use pictures of celebrities or random objects, but some sites let you create your own little icon.

Several years ago I stumbled upon the South Park Studio. This website lets you create cool images of yourself as a South Park character by letting you choose different aspects of your appearance (ie hair, clothes, body). I created a picture of myself as a character and when I began this blog I used it as my profile picture. I even created a santa suit version which I used just recently during the holiday season. There’s also a website called StorTroopers where you can create cartoon versions of yourself (seen here). Call me a narcissist, but creating little cartoons of myself is fun and fascinating.

Well, I was playing around on my Yahoo! account and noticed that you can create your own avatars for use with your Yahoo! profile. Needless to say, I was floored. I started playing around with it and you can create some pretty cool stuff. You can create your avatars as anything you want and it doesn’t even have to look like you. So, I created a few and saved them as my favorites. Let’s take a look, shall we?

This is my normal avatar. I created it earlier last year and I use it as my default. Pretty plain jane, but it looks like me and I like the clubbin’ background. This one can go with or without glasses.

Ahh, yes. Everyone, set your faces to ROCKED!!! This avatar is so unbelievably awesome that you can’t look directly at it for fear of burning out your retinas. Ladies, try not to lose control and start throwing your panties at the screen. While the gesture is appreciated…and understood…it could be embarrassing for you if you are at work…or your parent’s house. As you can see, this avatar is me in an Elvis jumpsuit next to the Las Vegas sign. This is now becoming my default avatar. This will seem familiar to those of you who have seen me in my totally kick ass Halloween costume.

This avatar shows “alternate universe Pax” where I grew up on the “wrong side of the tracks” (FYI…the left side) and I don’t “keep my hair clean”. Check out that gi-normous dragon tattoo on my arm. On anyone else, that tat would seem cliche, but it looks pretty BAD ASS on me. I might have to make that a reality. Oh, you may be wondering why I’m walking through a pretty, floral arbor…well, obviously, since this is “alternate universe Pax”, I’m attending a Sunday afternoon tea at someone’s house. Duh. Hope they have blueberry scones.

It seems Yahoo! avatars pretty much have any situation I can think of covered. What if I wanted to see me in an aerobics class wearing red long johns and a sombrero? Ooooooo, Yahoo!, you are good.

How about me in a turkey costume standing on the moon? Well, played, Yahoo!, well played.

It looks like you won this round, Yahoo! Avatar, but I’ll be back. I’ll. Be. Back.

……………..wearing lederhosen, standing next to a unicorn in front of a bunch of lightbulbs? DAMN YOU, YAHOO AVATAR!! DAMN YOU!!

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