Archive for The Godfather

Making 7 Literary Classics More AWESOME

Posted in books, Classic literature with tags , , , , , , , on February 26, 2014 by Paxton

Bad Ass Book Report

I’m a reader. I love to read. And I sometimes enjoy reading classic literature. However, some of the old stuff is just flat out boring as balls.  I mean, have you actually read Thomas Hardy’s Tess of the D’Urbervilles, Frank Norris’ McTeague or anything by James Joyce?  Snoozeville.  Population…YOU.  I had to read those in high school and I needed to drink a case of Jolt Cola to get through just one chapter.

So, being the helpful guy that I am, I thought I’d take some boring classics you may have had to read in high school and college and make them better.  More AWESOME.  And easier to read.

So now, here are seven ways to make classic literature a lot more AWESOME. You are welcome, literature.

Don Corleone Quixote
Don Corleone Quixote – Old guard crime boss Don Corleone Quixote sets up shop in an old windmill with trusty right hand man Pancha.

Little Haunted House on the Prairie
Little Haunted House on the Prairie – A family is brutally murdered in their secluded old farm house.  Twenty years later, an unsuspecting couple purchases the old farm house looking for a serene retreat from their hectic lives only to find skin crawling terror and wheelbarrows of blood.

Grapes of Wrath of Khan
The Grapes of Wrath of Khan – The Joad family pick up a hitchhiker on their way to California.  Little do they know their new addition is a genetically enhanced super being from the future looking to overthrow and rule the human race.  Wackiness ensues.

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Whoops! I guess I took the last two weeks off

Posted in blogging, life, movies, The Godfather with tags , , on January 2, 2009 by Paxton

Well, as with most everyone else, things got busy as crap these last few holiday weeks. I had this past week off work and I planned on writing something but, as it happens, life got in the way.

I had a great Xmas with my family and drank copious amounts of alcohol. Then we drank again on New Years Day. Really, Steph and I need to go into rehab after this holiday. We’ll also probably have wine tonight and tomorrow because we are having Italian Night. Italian Night (aka Gangster Night) is when Steph cooks lasagna, we drink Chianti (or another Italian wine like Sangiovese) and watch gangster movies. Some of the past flicks we’ve watched are Godfather Pt I and II, Casino and Good Fellas. For Xmas, I got Steph the Blu-Ray DVD of the Godfather trilogy. So those will be screening for this edition of Italian Night. But, back to the drinking, it’s out of control, seriously.

Anyway, I won’t let my personal vices like drinking, eating, watching bad movies or gambling on women’s golf keep me from my stated duties; entertaining the tens of people that read this blog. Never fear, I’ll be putting up a proper article next week.

Hope everyone else had a great holiday. Back to reality in a few days, including the L-O-O-O-O-O-N-G stretch to my next holiday Memorial Day. 5 months. Ugh.

Maybe I’ll even take down the Christmas decorations.   Now that it’s January 02, 2009, the green, red and falling snow is tap-dancing on my last nerve.

Peace out.