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Creating a team of 80s ninja killers

Posted in movies, ninjas, pop culture with tags LEB, movies, ninjas, pop culture on August 29, 2012 by Paxton

New assignment from The League. This week we are pitted against an evil conglomerate that is protected by an army of bad ass Russian ninjas (Russian ninjas, wha-?!). So I need to put together a team that does nothing but kill goddam ninjas.

It would be too easy to say, “I’ll take the JLA” or “The Avengers” and be done with it. However, I’m going with non-super powered heroes. As a matter of fact, I’m staying away from all supernatural characters. I’m going to treat this as an 80s movie/TV project. Which means I will also limit myself to characters from the 1980s, so no Jack Bauer (sad face) or Jason Bourne (well, the Matt Damon version).

So, let’s do this. The five members of my own personal team of ninja killers from the 1980s:

1. John “The Master” McCallister (The Master)- The older, wiser ninja leader. Plus Lee Van Cleef is just BAD ASS.

2. Sho Kosugi (Ninja Trilogy) – I didn’t pick a character here, I picked the actor mainly because Sho transcends the characters he plays. It doesn’t matter if I pick Cho Osaki from Revenge of the Ninja or Shiro Tanaka from Rage of Honor. They are all the same bad ass ninja mo-fo and I need him to help defeat the ninja army. Plus, he catches ninja arrows IN HIS TEETH.

3. Scott James (The Octagon) – Scott James was built to kill f’n ninjas. He single handedly takes on a terrorist organization comprised of deadly, deadly ninjas (led by the awesome Tadashi Yamashita) with just his wits, super fast roundhouse kicks and copious amounts of chest hair. Qualifications ACCEPTED, Mr James.

4. Joe Armstrong (American Ninja) – Another dude created to kill ninjas. Joe here defeated one of the fiercest ninjas ever, the Black Star Ninja (played, again, by the awesome Tadashi Yamashita). He’s the American Ninja and he’s on this team.

5. Jonathan Cabot (Gymkata) – Former gymnast turned master of the deadly martial art Gymkata, which is a mash up of gymnastic moves and the ninjitsu fighting style. I only need to make sure that the team goes to places that have things like high bars and pommel horses just lying around so he can “do his thang”.

More ninja killers from around the League:
1. Shez Crafti’s Ninja Force 5
2. Green Plastic Squirt Gun also recruits Chuck Norris as well as Ash
3. Memories of Toymorrow recruits a bunch of awesome ninjas to fight ninjas
4. The Man Who Stares at Toys recruits Sarah Connor and Tackleberry
5. Cool and Collected recruits a malfunctioning robot and the hot chick from Buck Rogers

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My dream cast for a Clue: The Movie reboot

Posted in movies, pop culture with tags Clue, LEB, movies, pop culture on August 10, 2012 by Paxton

Another great assignment for The League this week. Probably the best one we’ve had. I might have to say that this is the single greatest topic ever conceived in the history of blogging, the Internet, or probably in anything. EVER. And I think the person who suggested said topic is probably as handsome as he his distinguished in his bad assness. The topic?

Remake one of your favorite movies with a cast of current Hollywood stars.

The person who suggested it? The Man-God known as…me. Yes, this is my topic suggestion for the week. I think it’s pretty awesome, hopefully the rest of the League does as well (how could they not?). Anyway, on to this week’s topic. Hollywood loves remakes and reboots. Most recently Hollywood also loves movies based on board games. Why not combine the two? I thought that this was the “perfect storm” of events I needed to beat Hollywood to the punch and cast a reboot of a popular 80s movie based on a board game. And the movie I chose is one of my favorite comedies of all time, Clue: The Movie (which just hit Blu-Ray on Tues).

There has been talk for years of remaking this movie and currently Gore Verbinski is attached (director of the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies). Who knows how that’s going to turn out, so let’s take a look at my own personal “dream cast” for a new Clue movie. Now just note, I view this reboot as a true, “hard” reboot. It would stay true to the spirit and look of the original movie to a point, but it would not be “in continuity” with the original. It would truly stand on its own.

Here we go. You can click the card images of the new cast to see them bigger.

Clue card back
Wadsworth – Michael Sheen – Originally played by the great Tim Curry. In my eyes there is no better casting for this role than Michael Sheen. You’ve seen him in the Underworld movies as well as Tron: Legacy and Frost/Nixon.

Clue card back
Miss Scarlet – Scarlett Johansson – Originally played by Lesley Ann Warren. Warren was good and funny, but she was not my favorite of the original ensemble. I think ScarJo would be an upgrade. Plus, she has proven that she can do comedy pretty well. And, she’s rather attractive, as Miss Scarlet is supposed to be (not to say that Warren wasn’t attractive).

Clue card back
Col Mustard – This was the hardest role to cast. I am a huge fan of Martin Mull. Just watch him in Mr Mom. He almost steals the movie. Anyway, I was going to put Ed Helms here, and he’d probably be great, but I don’t buy him as a former Army colonel. So, I decided there are two ways to go here, I can go with a more conventional pick that I think fits really well or I can go with an “out of the box” pick. I think I’m leaning towards my “conventional pick”, John C Reilly. Reilly is really funny and I do buy him as a former colonel. As for my unconventional pick, I also really like Bob De Niro. The last decade or so De Niro has shown he has an affinity for comedies and I totally think he’d work. However, as part of this “comedy all star” ensemble I’m building, De Niro sticks out like a sore thumb.

Clue card back
Mrs Peacock – Kristen Wiig – Originally played by the great Eileen Brennan. Wiig is perfect for this part because not only does she look a bit like Brennan (check out the images for comparison), she is funny and quirky and weird. Exactly how Brennan played Mrs Peacock.

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Walking in the footsteps of Billy the Kid and other roadtrips I want to take

Posted in Americana, Billy the Kid, pop culture, roadtrip with tags Billy the Kid, gunfighters, Kool Aid, LEB, Nerdy Roadtrip, pop culture, roadtrip, Wizard of Oz on August 3, 2012 by Paxton

Brian has given us a good assignment this week. He wants us to plan the ultimate pop culture roadtrip. I have already gone on several geeky roadtrips in my life thanks to having been a traveling IT consultant for about 8 years. I’ll start chronicling more of those soon. I already talked about two Star Wars Roadtrips that I’ve taken (Star Wars Celebrations I and II). But I think Brian’s idea is to plan a road trip that you want to take.

There are several I could do, but one is definitely at the top. And I’ve discussed it before, both on the Nerd Lunch Podcast and here on the site. I want to walk the Billy the Kid Trail in New Mexico.

I’ve been a huge fan of Billy the Kid since high school. I’ve read a ton of books about him (and other gunslingers). Plus, my wife is from New Mexico, so it’s totally doable. There are several places in New Mexico pertaining to the famous outlaw. The biggest would probably be the Lincoln State Monument in Lincoln, NM.

(Via Jeff Arnold’s West)

The little town of Lincoln has been preserved almost exactly as it was back in Billy’s day. You can still visit the courthouse in which he was imprisoned and then famously shot his way out of, killing two deputies in the process. There’s also the Wortley Hotel which was once owned by Pat Garrett, the man who shot Billy. The hotel was also the final dining place of Bob Ollinger, who was one of the deputies Billy killed in his getaway. Not only would this place be awesome for Billy the Kid buffs, but the town is almost exactly how it was in the Old West. It would be great to see how things were back then as I’m fascinated with the time period.

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Going to make you GREEN with envy

Posted in Mountain Dew, Pepsi, soda with tags Kool Aid, LEB, Mountain Dew, Pepsi, soda, toys on July 25, 2012 by Paxton

Brian’s new assignment for the League of Extraordinary Bloggers this week is to photograph something green. Well, I have a Flickr stream chock full of green items. So, instead of showing you just one, I’m going to showcase an entire collection of green from my Flickr stream. Soda, candy, milk. It’s all represented. Enjoy.

You can click any of these images to see them on my Flickr stream.

Other green entries from around The League:
1. ShezCrafti takes a look at her Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles collection
2. Lair of the Dork Horde looks at some tiny, green Z.O.M.B.I.E. figures
3. Brian himself over at Cool and Collected shows us a collection of Hulk stuff

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My top 10 movies featuring time travel

Posted in Back to the Future, Harry Potter, movies, pop culture, time travel with tags Back to the Future, Harry Potter, LEB, movies, pop culture, Star Trek, time travel, Time Travelogues on June 7, 2012 by Paxton

New League assignment this week. We apparently were off last week, but Brian has thrown a very good subject for this week. He wants us to create a list of 10 favorite movies. We can pick the category. There are so many ways to slice-and-dice a list of 10 movies. It took me a while to really think about it but I think I came up with an appropriate angle for me.

If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you know I’m an aficionado of time travel in pop culture. Some say I would be an “Internet authority” on said topic (I won’t argue that). I see the movies and TV shows, I read the books. I study it. I enjoy it. Check out the numerous time travel articles I’ve written on this blog as well as Episode 3 of the Nerd Lunch podcast in which we discussed time travel (and our third most downloaded episode, btw). You can see I have something invested in this subject. So, I thought I’d list out my 10 favorite movies that feature time travel.

I realize there are going to be ones you’ll want on, but I’m giving you my list of favorite time travel movies. I’ll also include some honorable mentions at the bottom.

So, let’s get started going back…..to the future….and past. Whatever. Oh, and I don’t normally do this, but I’m actually ranking these 10 – 1. Much like time itself, the order matters.

(Via jovisala47)
10. Galaxy Quest – Time travel is really only used in this movie as a small plot device at the very end, but it’s used very well. The Omega 13 is a nebulous and strange device, but it worked and both spoofed the original Star Trek’s version of time travel as well as created a fun version of time travel for the movie. Plus, I love the s**t out of this movie. The perfect spoof of classic Star Trek while simultaneously being a really good stand along sci-fi movie.
(Via Harry Potter Wikia)
9. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – This is another kind of a cheat. The movie doesn’t feature time travel, but uses it as a plot device towards the end. However, it’s used very well and the Time Turner itself is a fascinating little gadget. This third movie in the HP franchise is so good and having time travel at the end and also realizing Hermione has been using it from the beginning of the story, just makes it that much better.

(Via best-horror-movies.com)
8. Time Crimes – This is a pretty great little suspense movie that has a plot that not only features time travel, but revolves around it. It gets a little crazy at the end, and a little confusing as well, but I really enjoy the hell out of this movie. It’s about a guy named Hector who stumbles upon a time machine and gets himself into several hairy situations when he’s sent back 30min into the past.

(Via movieslist2010)
7. Groundhog Day – Not generally thought of by people as a time travel movie, but it is. Murray is trapped in what we call a “time loop” and has to live the last 24 hours over and over and over. Such a great movie even if the “time loop” is never really explained.