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Death and Bacon: Cavalcade of Awesome’s 2009 Xmas List

Posted in bacon, Christmas, holiday, humor, random with tags , , , , , on December 21, 2009 by Paxton

I’ve had several people ask me what’s on my Christmas list this year. What do I think is awesome enough to own for Christmas 2009.  So, in answer, I decided to show you guys what I’m asking for this year.

You guys know me by now.  If it’s not awesome, I don’t want it.  Here are a bunch of awesome (and possibly deadly) things I want for Christmas this year.

nunchucks
A set of sweet nunchucks.  I ruined my other pair of nunchucks earlier this year fighting off a pack of lions that were attacking an orphanage.  So I need new ones in case more orphanages are attacked by jungle cats.  It happens more often than you’d think.

ninja stars
Deadly shuriken, or Ninja Stars.  Ninja Stars come in handy in many different situations.  You can stick notes to the wall (see picture) or fatally puncture a victim in the head or heart.  Truly versatile instruments of death.

BTTF delorean
I really want a time machine.  It doesn’t have to be a Delorean like in Back to the Future (although that would be AWESOME).  It can be a Ferrari or Lamborghini or Audi.  I’m not picky.  But it must travel through time (backwards and forwards).  If it can only travel one way, then it’s pretty much useless, am I right?  Where would I go?  Lots of places, I’d check out Star Wars on opening day in 1977 (and buy up a bunch of vintage figs off the shelf).  I’d go back and kick my own ass for wearing parachute pants (to school, nonetheless).  I’d also go back and tell my dad to invest in Microsoft and Google and convince teenage Kanye West to be an accountant instead of a rapper.  Nothing big.  I’m really crossing my fingers for this one.

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