Cavalcade of Awesome

The saga continues…

Death by Taurine has been a surprisingly popular article series for my blog. I wrote the first one as a lark back in 2006 when I became fascinated with the whole energy drink industry. Since then the whole series has consistently appeared at the top of my blog’s traffic reports. So, since everyone seems to still be interested in this crazy topic of energy drinks, I thought I’d continue the series with Part IV. If you missed the first three installments, check out the whole group here. You’ll find reviews of Red Bull, Full Throttle, Jolt and many other popular energy drinks. When you click the above link, Part IV will be first in the list and Part I will last in the list and at the bottom of the page. Scroll down to start from the beginning.

In the first three installments, I tasted and reviewed several of the traditional and more popular energy drinks. This time, however, I thought I’d try something different. I’m tasting and reviewing the newer alcoholic energy drinks that have flooded the market. In case you haven’t noticed, beer companies are releasing energy drinks with alcohol in them, some as much as 2 beers worth of alcohol. These have piqued my interest so I thought I’d give reviewing them a shot. FYI to everyone, I am of legal drinking age so no laws are getting broken. I’m just a ridiculously handsome guy, over 21, drinking energy drinks filled with taurine, vitamin B and alcohol. Let’s get started.

First, the rules. I’m going to drink the first one, wait an hour, then write the review. Then I’ll move on to the second one, wait an hour, then the review. I want to make sure I’m spacing these out to get the full effect. Okay, everyone ready? Then let’s get this party started.

Bud Extra- The first drink I’ll taste is from Budweiser and it’s called “B to the E”. I’m not kidding, that’s the official title, but it has an alternate name, Bud Extra. So I’ll just pop the top and let ‘er rip. Tastes like a can of Budweiser. There might be a slight Red Bull-ish aftertaste. Interesting. I’ll continue drinking and return in an hour with my final analysis.

[1 hour later] Okay, not bad. I’m feelin’ pretty good. Got a nice buzz on, feelin’ no pain…this is what I’m talkin’ BOUT! Man, I could totally have another one of these. That’s the mark of a good drink, you have one and you immediately are ready for another. Nice. Too bad I only bought one for this review. Crap. Hey, it’s time for Round 2, SWEET! Let’s go…

Sparks- Sparks is made by Miller and it is another of the more popular alcoholic energy drinks. There are like three versions of the Sparks drink and I’m not sure what this. Nor do I care because I’m ready to pop this top and throw down the juice. Hmmmm….like Red Bull, Sparks is filled with Taurine, Ginseng, Vitamin B, but unlike Red Bull…it’s rockin’ some serious al–kee–hol! Haha! Whew, let’s throw some of this bad boy back and see if this can of Sparks is, like myself, ready to Par-tay! Mmmmm…nice flavor. A little more Red Bullish in taste than Bud Extra. I like it. I’ll just continue drinking this and see you in an hour.

[1 hour later] Maaan, whew! These cans are like double the size of normal beer cans. With two of these bad boys down I think I’ve had the equivalent of 4 regular beers, and I’m just getting this little shindig started. I know it says 1 hour later to the left there, but it’s really about 45 minutes later. I got tired of waiting for another energy brewski, so I’m drinking the next one, it’s called Sparks….no wait, I just had Sparks, right? No…yes…whatever.

Tilt- Allright, I don’t really remember who or what makes this one. The can is silver and it has writing on it, so that’s good enough. Time to pop the top and down the hatch…..awesome! This one hits the spot! WOO HOO! I might have found the winner, bitches. Look out energy drink bitches…this silver can of something is gonna ROCK YOUR WORLD!!! WOO HOO!!!

[30 minutes later] WOO HOO!! MAN THAAT WAAS THE LASTY ENRGY BREUW I HAD….WTF?! I DON’THAAVE ANYMOREEE…WWAIT I THINK I HAVEE AN RED BULLL IN THE FRIDGEY-FRIDGERSON…..YEPPERS, THER IT TIS, YALLLLLLL. AND HER’S A BEER,YO.. HAHA I CNA MIX RD BULLLZ AND MY BEERR AND HAVE A NEW ALKEYHOLIC ENRGY DREENK! AWESUME! I MITE HALVE TO SSELL THIS ITS THAAAT GOUUD. MMMMMNMMNMNMNN.

[30 minutes later] thaaaT caAn UF hommadie bruew wentu quielckly. im st1ll naut feelinG anYthieng. WYF?1 THEIZSE drEEnks r SPosed 2 haVVE alCAHAUl!11!!!1 AHAAHA!1!111 I cEE SUM BAKARTI 151 HiddoN n mie kabinet. BARTNDR, ROUEOND OF SHUOTS ON ME!!!!!11111

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