Archive for the reviews Category

8 “Christmas” movies that have nothing to do with Christmas

Posted in Christmas, holiday, movies, pop culture, reviews with tags , , , , on December 11, 2009 by Paxton

anti Christmas

I was thinking about un-Christmas movies the other day. What’s an un-Christmas movie? It’s a movie that doesn’t really have anything to do with the holiday season, but just happens to take place during the holiday season. Hollywood loves to associate movies to something that’s popular, like Christmas, but only do it in a tangential way.

So here are 8 movies that take place during the Christmas holiday but the movie plots themselves have really nothing to do with the holiday season. For all we know, the movie could have taken place on Arbor Day.

Reindeer Games
Reindeer Games
– Yes, that one Ben Affleck movie with Charlize Theron.  Based on the title you’d think the movie would center on some elaborate Christmas heist.  In actuality, the plot centers on Ben Affleck’s character stealing his dead friend’s identity, sleeping with said friend’s girlfriend and a casino heist by that guy on CSI: New York. Oh, and CSI guy may or may not be the brother/lover of Charlize Theron’s character. The fact that this movie happens during Christmas time is almost irrelevant.

Long Kiss Goodnight
Long Kiss Goodnight
– This was actually a pretty good movie starring Gina Davis as a housewife who finds out she used to be an elite assassin but lost her memory during a botched job (a la Jason Bourne). Did you remember that the movie takes place during Christmas? That’s why it’s an Un-Christmas movie.

First Blood
First Blood
– This movie is a heartwarming story about a renegade special forces soldier slaughtering police officers in the woods while the town of Hope quietly celebrates the holiday season.  What?  You didn’t remember that this movie takes place during the holiday season?  I guess Rambo violently murdering hillbilly cops kinda distracted you.  The sheriff’s office has a tree and some lights as does the town itself.  Merry Christmas, Sheriff…IN HELL!!!

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Ninja Day 2009: Movie review of Ninja Assassin

Posted in holiday, movies, Ninja Day, ninjas, pop culture, reviews with tags , , , , on December 5, 2009 by Paxton

Ninja Day Banner

YES! Today, is Ninja Day, my friends!  Finally, I wait all year to don the black pajamas and stalk around my neighborhood without getting arrested.  The time is nigh!!

Yesterday, I talked about what makes a bad ass ninja, BAD ASS.  Today, I’m going to talk about ninjas and the movies.  There has been a long history of US ninja movies, but those have MOSTLY died out here in the US since the late ’80s. I loved all of those movies, roughly 90% of which starred the awesome, Sho Kosugi. However, despite some fairly recent movies having ninjas in them (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Elektra) there haven’t really been any ninja-centric movies in the last few years. This past Thanksgiving changed that trend with the release of the movie, Ninja Assassin. In honor of Ninja Day, I saw this movie and would like to review it.

Ninja Assassin

So, the movie opens up with a pretty intense scene. You see these young Asian “gangster” types hanging out in their hideout playing pool and drinking. The leader is getting a tattoo and complaining about the needle hurting and being kind of a bitch about it. The crusty old dude giving the tattoo essentially says, maybe you aren’t man enough to get this tattoo. The young Asian leader of course pulls this ridiculously large pistol (fully plated in gold, mind you) and threatens to paint the ceiling with the crusty old guy’s brains. At this point, even people from space can see where this is headed. And after the delivery of a wax sealed envelope filled with black sand, every single one of the young toughs are systematically slaughtered in the most intensely violent ways. The first guy literally has half his head torn off by a blade flying so fast you only see the blur. And that’s how everyone else dies. You see mostly the dark blurs (ninja) and silvery blurs (ninja stars) as they reduce everyone in the room to a bloody pile of limbs. It’s fast, violent and every bit as balls out awesome as you think it’s going to be.

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Reviewing the Cirque Du Freak book series

Posted in books, monsters, reviews, vampires with tags , , , , on November 4, 2009 by Paxton

I decided this year to read a bunch of Frankenstein books for Halloween. I reviewed all of  these Frankenstein books during this year’s AWESOME-tober-fest (here, here and here). However, I actually read and finished all of those books at the end of August and early September.

So, to change things up, throughout September and early October I switched genres and read a few action books like Star Wars: Republic Commandos: Hard Contact by Karen Traavis, The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown and Area 7 by Matthew Reilly.  Well, when I finished those, I still had a few weeks of October left and I wanted to read some creepy and/or scary books.  There have been a bunch of ads for the new movie The Vampire’s Assistant starring John C Reilly and I thought they looked pretty good.  I’ve had my eyes on the book series the movie was based on for a while so I decided to give the first book a try (It’s currently on Book 12 which may be the last).  So I put the first book, Cirque Du Freak:  A Living Nightmare on my Paperbackswap.com Wish List and it came to me pretty quickly. So I started reading it.

CDF Living Nightmare

The movie takes it’s name from the second book, but I read somewhere that its story comes from the first three books. The first three books comprise a loose trilogy, as do each successive three books so that within the 12 book series there should be 4 trilogies. Each tied into the main story, but each having their own story arc.

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AWESOME-tober-fest 2009: The Frankenstein Papers book review

Posted in books, Frankenstein, Halloween, holiday, reviews with tags , , , , , , , , on October 20, 2009 by Paxton

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Frankenstein book week continues.

After deciding that I would read Frankenstein this Halloween, I wanted to also read a few other books that were inspired by or based themselves on the original Shelley novel.  One of the books I chose was Fred Saberhagen’s The Frankenstein Papers.

Saberhagen Frankenstein Papers

The Frankenstein Papers billed itself as somewhat a sequel to Shelley’s novel.  Fred Saberhagen is a popular genre writer. He’s written several series of books including The Berserkers and The First Swords saga. Saberhagen has also written several books based on Stoker’s Dracula. The Dracula books (as well as this Frankenstein book) tell the events of the original novel from the monster’s point of view. It’s a clever idea that I found fascinating enough to order it from PaperbackSwap.

Frankenstein papers

This book, not surprisingly is written in a very similar style to Shelley’s novel. The events in this book happen during and in-between the events of the original novel. The monster, after the events in the original novel, is trapped in the far North and finds the captain’s log in the abandoned ship, The Argo (titular ship from the original novel). The monster begins writing down his side of the story, which means the majority of this novel also happens in flashback. As I said, the style and writing is remarkably similar to Shelley’s novel. And, like the original, it starts off a tad slow. But as the story moves forward, the book gains momentum and you start to see the events of the original novel from the monster’s point of view. Also, several events in the original novel are expanded upon. In Shelley’s tale, Victor Frankenstein becomes interested in electricity after watching a tree get struck by lightening. A family friend who’s also an expert in electrical energy happens to be there to explain some of the science to him. This event is given even greater importance in Saberhagen’s book when the identity of the “family friend” is revealed to be Ben Franklin who begins searching for Victor and the monster as he feels partly responsible for the monster’s creation. This chase for the monster and certain revelations about the nature of the monster make this a fun read. The book answers the “truth” about Frankenstein’s monster and what really happened that night of the creation. And it’s…odd. Like completely out of left field. I have to admit, I didn’t see it coming. And it’s so weird that you will either love it or hate it. It’s gonna be that polarizing.

However, despite the ending, The Frankenstein Papers a good book that starts a little slow, picks up in the middle and has an intriguing ending. If you liked the original novel, I believe you’ll like this, however you may hate the ending.


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Also, check out the blog Countdown to Halloween for more Halloween-y, bloggy AWESOMEness.

AWESOME-tober-fest 2009: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein book review

Posted in AWESOME-tober-fest, books, Classic literature, Frankenstein, Halloween, pop culture, reviews with tags , , , , , , , , on October 19, 2009 by Paxton

Awesometoberfest banner

Today, I review the book that started it all, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.

Shelley Frankenstein cover
Mary Shelley’s tale of the Frankenstein monster is perhaps one of the most classic and iconic horror tales of all time.  Shelley’s book has spawned not only other books, but movies, TV shows, plays, satire and short stories. It’s a veritable horror franchise in and of itself.  Her book, along with Bram Stoker’s Dracula, helped ground the incredibly popular Universal Monster stable of monster movies in the ’30s. Famously played by Boris Karloff in the Universal movies and by David Prowse (Darth Vader in the Star Wars movies) in the cult favorite Hammer films, the monstrous green, lumbering Frankenstein monster created by a mad scientist looking to create artificial life is what is most popularly known by the public at large.  Is this basically what the original book is about?  Are the events in the book different?  Before this article, I had no idea.

Having never read the original Frankenstein novel by Shelley, I couldn’t answer that question.  So I picked up the classic novel for this year’s AWESOME-tober-fest and read the original novel. I had no prior knowledge of Shelley’s book (other than it existed) and all of my imagery of Frankenstein and the monster pretty much come from the Universal movies as well as cheesy ’70s and ’80s adaptations like The Monster Squad, The Munsters and The Groovie Goolies. Let’s see how different the original novel is from the image burned into our collective pop consciousness.

Frankenstein cover 2

Published in 1818, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley is considered a horror classic. Having written the book when she was only 18, Shelley originally published the book anonymously. It wasn’t until 1831 that the book was first published with her name on it.  The genesis of this novel began one night when Mary Shelley, her husband Percy and Lord Byron were at Byron’s villa telling ghost stories.  They all decided they should each write their own supernatural story.  Byron began to research a vampire story that would eventually be written by another author.  Percy Shelley would die before he could write his story. Mary came up with her story after a vivid dream.  Subsequently, hers would be the only one published as originally intended.  The gist of the story centers on Victor Frankenstein and his creation of a monster from dead body parts.

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