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AWESOME-tober-fest 2008!! Some of my favorite scary movies

Posted in Alfred Hitchock, AWESOME-tober-fest, Halloween, holiday, humor, movies, pop culture, reviews with tags , , , , , , on October 7, 2008 by Paxton

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Welcome back to Week 2 of AWESOME-tober-fest. Last year I did an article telling you guys about some of my favorite scary books.  It surprisingly became fairly popular and has been seeing steady traffic.  So, this Halloween (AKA AWESOME-tober-fest) I thought I’d list out some of my favorite scary movies.

Now, this won’t be a “scariest movies of all time list”, that’s too easy.  This list is gonna be typically Pax-centric.  It’s all about what I like, my friends.  That’s the only way I can work, ALL ABOUT ME.  So this list will consist of movies that I really enjoy watching but not ones that I would consider the greatest Horror/Monster movies of all time.  You can Google “Greatest Horror Movies” and literally get thousands of results if that’s what you are looking for, but this list will be a bit more nuanced.  And by “nuanced”, I mean “stuff Pax likes”.  If that is also your definition of nuanced, then you’ve come to the right blog.

I’ve put this list in chronological order.  Let us begin.

Dial ‘M’ For Murder (1954) – A Hitchcock classic.  This one really ratchets up the suspense (well, it is Hitchcock).  Also, Grace Kelly is beautiful and wonderful as always.  I prefer her in Rear Window, however, as she has more to do because, make no mistake, this is Ray Milland’s picture.  Oh my lord, this guy is the balls.  Cold, calculating, smart.  He never once loses his calm demeanor despite being grilled by a Sherlock Holmes wanna-be detective.  Ray Milland plays a husband who recruits a man to kill his wife (Grace Kelly).  He has everything planned down to the last detail but something goes wrong and he must try to frame another man for the attempt.  The script for this was originally a theatrical play, and you can tell by how the cameras were setup and everything was filmed.  Also, it was originally released in 3-D, which not many people know, and I got to see it that way on the big screen at the Alabama Theater during Halloween 2003, I believe.  This is a great movie.

Psycho (1960) – Hitchcock, again, at his best.  Anthony Perkins pulls a fantastic performance here as Norman Bates.  It’s easy to see why he was typecast after this movie.  His performance here is so menacing, how could he be seen as anyone else?  FYI…stay away from the sequels.  They are awful.  Psycho II is just embarrassingly bad.  Wishful thinkers tend to say that four is not bad, but they are kidding themselves.  This is the only movie with ‘Psycho’ in the title worth watching (and I’m including American Psycho in that statement too).

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AWESOME-tober-fest 2008!! I review gallons of Halloween sodas

Posted in AWESOME-tober-fest, Halloween, holiday, Jones Soda, Mountain Dew, Pepsi, soda with tags , , , , , , , , on October 1, 2008 by Paxton

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Happy October, everyone.  How crazy is it that it’s October 2008 already?  I can’t even believe it.  It’s like I was watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy with my wife back in January and seeing Meredith and McDreamy break up, have sex, get back together, stop having sex, then completely ignore each other, AGAIN, put me to sleep, Rip Van Winkle-style, for 6 months.   I got some catching up to do.

Anyway, now that I’m back, get ready for some hardcore AWESOME to come flying at your eyes like Moe Howard and his index finger.  Stand back and bask in the warm glow of your monitor and let the rays of unfiltered BAD-ASS flow from it into you. No need to fear, AWESOME-tober-fest is here. That’s right, October has begun, and with it brings the first of three themed months on the Cavalcade of Awesome. I love the final three months of the year. I theme the blog for each month. October is Halloween. November is Thanksgiving, or just fall in general. December is glorious, glorious Christmas.  As you can see, I’ve done some redecorating for Halloween.  The decorations are up, what do you think?

The new blog banner up top is an homage to a specific Halloween item I will be reviewing later this month.  It’s something I’ve loved from my youth and just recently acquired thanks to eBay.  From my October blogs of LAST year I’ve been wanting to find and review the items I’m currently speaking of but was unable to find any.  I finally have them and will unleash them on you unsuspecting readers later on.  I’d do it now, but I haven’t actually written the review.  Besides, it’ll work better closer to Halloween.

Anywho, today I’m looking at Halloween sodas.  Several have been released over the years, so I thought I’d take a look at a few.  Some are old, some are new, let’s see if any made me spew.  LOL…that was so awesome that I got that to rhyme.  You may as well stop reading now because the article doesn’t get any better than that.  Seriously, that was the pinnacle of this article.  You have been warned, I can’t top that.

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Death by Taurine: Energy Drink Reviews Part IV

Posted in Death By Taurine, humor, reviews, soda with tags , , on April 29, 2008 by Paxton

Sodapalooza

The saga continues…

Death by Taurine has been a surprisingly popular article series for my blog. I wrote the first one as a lark back in 2006 when I became fascinated with the whole energy drink industry. Since then the whole series has consistently appeared at the top of my blog’s traffic reports. So, since everyone seems to still be interested in this crazy topic of energy drinks, I thought I’d continue the series with Part IV. If you missed the first three installments, check out the whole group here. You’ll find reviews of Red Bull, Full Throttle, Jolt and many other popular energy drinks. When you click the above link, Part IV will be first in the list and Part I will last in the list and at the bottom of the page. Scroll down to start from the beginning.

Drinks groupIn the first three installments, I tasted and reviewed several of the traditional and more popular energy drinks. This time, however, I thought I’d try something different. I’m tasting and reviewing the newer alcoholic energy drinks that have flooded the market. In case you haven’t noticed, beer companies are releasing energy drinks with alcohol in them, some as much as 2 beers worth of alcohol. These have piqued my interest so I thought I’d give reviewing them a shot. FYI to everyone, I am of legal drinking age so no laws are getting broken. I’m just a ridiculously handsome guy, over 21, drinking energy drinks filled with taurine, vitamin B and alcohol. Let’s get started.

First, the rules. I’m going to drink the first one, wait an hour, then write the review. Then I’ll move on to the second one, wait an hour, then the review. I want to make sure I’m spacing these out to get the full effect. Okay, everyone ready? Then let’s get this party started.

Bud ExtraBud Extra- The first drink I’ll taste is from Budweiser and it’s called “B to the E”. I’m not kidding, that’s the official title, but it has an alternate name, Bud Extra. So I’ll just pop the top and let ‘er rip. Tastes like a can of Budweiser. There might be a slight Red Bull-ish aftertaste. Interesting. I’ll continue drinking and return in an hour with my final analysis.

[1 hour later] Okay, not bad. I’m feelin’ pretty good. Got a nice buzz on, feelin’ no pain…this is what I’m talkin’ BOUT! Man, I could totally have another one of these. That’s the mark of a good drink, you have one and you immediately are ready for another. Nice. Too bad I only bought one for this review. Crap. Hey, it’s time for Round 2, SWEET! Let’s go…

Sparks- Sparks is made by Miller and it is another of the more popular alcoholic energy drinks. There are like three versions of the Sparks drink and I’m not sure what this. Nor do I care because I’m ready to pop this top and throw down the juice. Hmmmm….like Red Bull, Sparks is filled with Taurine, Ginseng, Vitamin B, but unlike Red Bull…it’s rockin’ some serious al–kee–hol! Haha! Whew, let’s throw some of this bad boy back and see if this can of Sparks is, like myself, ready to Par-tay! Mmmmm…nice flavor. A little more Red Bullish in taste than Bud Extra. I like it. I’ll just continue drinking this and see you in an hour.At Table

[1 hour later] Maaan, whew! These cans are like double the size of normal beer cans. With two of these bad boys down I think I’ve had the equivalent of 4 regular beers, and I’m just getting this little shindig started. I know it says 1 hour later to the left there, but it’s really about 45 minutes later. I got tired of waiting for another energy brewski, so I’m drinking the next one, it’s called Sparks….no wait, I just had Sparks, right? No…yes…whatever.

Tilt- Allright, I don’t really remember who or what makes this one. The can is silver and it has writing on it, so that’s good enough. Time to pop the top and down the hatch…..awesome! This one hits the spot! WOO HOO! I might have found the winner, bitches. Look out energy drink bitches…this silver can of something is gonna ROCK YOUR WORLD!!! WOO HOO!!!

[30 minutes later] WOO HOO!! MAN THAAT WAAS THE LASTY ENRGY BREUW I HAD….WTF?! I DON’THAAVE ANYMOREEE…WWAIT I THINK I HAVEE AN RED BULLL IN THE FRIDGEY-FRIDGERSON…..YEPPERS, THER IT TIS, YALLLLLLL. AND HER’S A BEER,YO.. HAHA I CNA MIX RD BULLLZ AND MY BEERR AND HAVE A NEW ALKEYHOLIC ENRGY DREENK! AWESUME! I MITE HALVE TO SSELL THIS ITS THAAAT GOUUD. MMMMMNMMNMNMNN.

[30 minutes later] thaaaT caAn UF hommadie bruew wentu quielckly. im st1ll naut feelinG anYthieng. WYF?1 THEIZSE drEEnks r SPosed 2 haVVE alCAHAUl!11!!!1 AHAAHA!1!111 I cEE SUM BAKARTI 151 HiddoN n mie kabinet. BARTNDR, ROUEOND OF SHUOTS ON ME!!!!!11111

[10 minutes later] a;dlkf ;a;;oobviqa;n qehjnleroucuya[oif neepoifpodlajhd papdofiaF!!! !PAEDIUQ;P PADOIFH APAO APAODIFA PAODF PA0DA-VOP KIDFNQ;’ER,KE PEKQTRQPFIOAJDAP[ADOIUPADOF P IF F ~~~~

Man Down

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Hollywood Life Lessons Pt II

Posted in hollywood life lessons, humor, movies, pop culture, TV shows with tags , , on March 11, 2008 by Paxton

Hollywood SignWhile watching tv my wife and I came up with some life lessons that had been taught to us by tv and movies. I posted the first five earlier but we came up with another five. Learn these lessons now, that is what TV and movies are for, to teach you things you can’t learn on your own.

In case you missed the first part, you can find it here.

This is a quick entry today, I have another one scheduled for Friday that has to do with St. Patty’s Day (which is on Monday, I know).


  • Everyone buys the same thing at the grocery; leafy green lettuce and a long loaf of french bread that sticks out just so from the top. And everyone gets it in a brown paper bag.
  • Everyone has that one friend/drinking buddy that does nothing but speak in funny/snarky one-liners.  The friend has no shame and hits on anything that moves.
  • If a guy’s best friend is a girl who’s secretly in love with him, the guy will not even notice her as a prospective girlfriend and only think of her as “one of the guys”. Oh, she will always be hot.
  • If a girl’s best friend is a guy that’s secretly in love with her, the girl will not even notice him as a prospective boyfriend and only think of him as “a friend”. Oh, and he’s always kind of a dork.
  • No matter where you are going, if you have to drive there, you will find a parking spot right in front.  Even in New York, Chicago or Los Angeles.

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The Movie Board: Worst Movies of 2007

Posted in Academy Awards, humor, Movie Board, movies, pop culture, reviews with tags , , on January 15, 2008 by Paxton

Movie Board

Allright, last week I gave you my 5 favorite movies of 2007. Now it’s time to unleash upon your delicate sensibilities the 5 worst movies I saw in 2007. Be warned, these movies are bad. Some of them may be bad enough that I’ll recommend watching them, but only for the bold. Do you have the stones to sit through 2 hours of crap? We’ll see.

Here they are in no particular order:

Kickin it Old Skool
Kicking it Old Skool– You’ll find that most movies on this list are here because they had a ton of potential, but completely squandered it. This movie has a funny premise; Jamie Kennedy is an elementary school break dancing king in the early ’80s. During a particularly dangerous move, he falls and is put in a coma for 20 years. When he wakes up he has to adjust to the fact that all his friends have grown up and break dancing is no longer cool. Classic fish-out-of-water premise using the ’80s and break dancing. I love it. Except the movie is terrible. Almost unwatchable. The best part of the movie is about 5-10 min in. Jamie Kennedy’s doctor is played by Alan Ruck (Cameron Frye in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off). Ruck’s character in this movie is named Doctor Frye and he even mentions paying off his father’s Ferrari. Steph and I about died. Great stunt cameo, this movie is gonna rock, right? Wrong. DEAD wrong. STAY AWAY.

Shoot 'em Up
Shoot ’em Up– This looked so good in the trailer. Clive Owen is a mysterious “nanny” that gets caught up helping a woman and a baby escape hired killers. It looked like a cross between Pulp Fiction and Lucky Number Slevin; lots of action and funny dialogue. Well, this movie is weird. Monica Belucci plays a prostitute who lets grown men breast feed from her. Paul Giamatti plays a hitman with an overbearing wife. The dialogue is ridiculous. I had serious issues staying “in the movie” if you get what I’m saying. Just weird, with a few good action scenes. This is here mostly because it should have been much, MUCH better.

Knocked Up
Knocked Up– Oh Seth Rogan, you magnificent bastard. What happened here? The cast for this movie is pretty much part and parcel from the very funny TV show Underclassmen (if you remember the 1 season it ran back in the early ’90s). Seth Rogan is on a roll lately and the premise seemed amusing. However, Seth and his friends in this movie are lame. Seth’s character is even somewhat of an A-hole. Katherine Heigl’s character is a little witchy (with a ‘b’). I could not laugh at this movie because the whole thing is so tragically sad. Paul Rudd saved the 5 minutes of the movie he appeared in. Other than that, I say go see Superbad instead. I really wanted to like this one, too.

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