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Crashing the House of Mouse for my Birthday!

Posted in Disney World, Florida, holiday, Orlando, personal, roadtrip with tags , , , , , , on May 14, 2006 by Paxton

Walt Disney World

This article has been over a week in the writing. Work has been slamming me so I’ve had to write it on and off over many days. Hope you enjoy it. It’s longer than usual so just bear with me.

I wanted to go somewhere fun for my birthday.  Since I now live in Jacksonville, FL, Walt Disney World is only two and a half hours away.  I hadn’t been since 1999, so I decided that is where I wanted to go.  When I went in 1999, my favorite park was Disney/MGM Studios because it had more of the rides and shows that I enjoyed.  To help seal the deal, Disney/MGM had also added a new ride, the Aerosmith Rock & Roller Coaster, since I’d been there last.  So on Cinco de Mayo we packed up the car and headed down to Orlando.

We stayed at a Courtyard Marriot in Lake Buena Vista.  It was, literally, a 5 minute drive to the park on Saturday morning.  We get to the park around 10:30am and immediately head to the first ride, The Great Movie Ride.  A great ride, not just in name only, it is made to look like Mann’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood, CA.  I have been to, and seen a movie in, the real Mann’s, and it’s a great replica.  The ride is a celebration of classic movies and showcases popular scenes from these movies with wax figures and small sets.  Very cool.  It’s like riding through a large Madame Tussaud’s exhibit.   A very cool attraction I like to ride whenever I’m at MGM.

Next we headed over to the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.  The lines were getting a little longer, so we grabbed a Fast Pass at Tower of Terror and went to stand in line for the Aerosmith Rock N Roller Coaster.

  If you’ve been to Disney and haven’t done the Fast Pass, you are missing out.  You grab a ticket from an automatic dispenser and it tells you to return to the specified ride at a specified time, usually about 1.5 hours later.  So with Fast Pass in hand, we waited in line at the Rock n Roller Coaster.  

The ride itself was very cool. The environment while you waited in line was like you were in the lobby of a recording studio named G-Force Records.  There was a lot of musical memorabilia like gold records and concert posters. All of a sudden a large group of you are ushered into a room that looks out on a recording studio. It looks like Aerosmith is putting the final touches on a track and they notice you. They inform you that they are about to leave for a concert but they want you to come with them. The dialogue in this little drama…is BAD. Do you remember the SNL Wayne’s World sketch they were on when Tom Hanks hosted? The drummer spouts off a long diatribe about supply and demand that sounded unrehearsed and fake. That’s kinda how this sounded. They even throw in the line “Everyone knows how we feel about our fans.” I’m on the ride, I don’t need to be pandered to. Anywho, we are shuffled into the loading area where you load the roller coaster. The cars look like a stretch cadillac limousine. It’s nice. As for the ride itself, it’s very good. Fast, furious and lots of Aerosmith rock playing. The ride is a suped up, much more fun version of Space Moutain. It’s all dark except for neon street signs that keep the feeling of a high speed run to the Aerosmith concert. Lots of fun, but too short. I was having so much fun that it ended just as we got started. I realize that coasters nowadays are getting faster and shorter, mush like our attention spans, but COME ON!!! If you go to MGM Studios, definately get on this ride.

We got off the Rock N Roller Coaster at exactly the time our Fast Pass said to be back over at the Tower of Terror. So we head over and get in the Fast Pass line. We literally walked right up and into the ride. Maybe a 2 minute wait. That was nice. The Tower is a great ride. You walk through the basement of an old hotel, get in an old elevator and it takes you around the Twilight Zone until it drops you up and down in a random sequence. Very fun and thrilling. Another good ride.

Next we hopped back over to the other side of the park to visit the Star Tours gift shop. I had been on the Star Tours ride several times and so had everyone else. I didn’t see any need to go again as it is only a mediocre ride. If it wasn’t based on Star Wars, I would probably say the ride somewhat sucked. It seriously needs to be updated. While walking to the Star Tours gift shop, I noticed some things had changed since 1999. Outside the ride there used to be a life-size speeder bike you could get your picture with. Check out this cheezy pic from my visit to MGM in 1999. That is no longer there. And the gift shop, The Jawa Trader, has been upgraded tremendously. There is a lot more room and they built tatooine adobe builings around it. I guess they had to sell more merchandise. You think they would have upgraded the ride. This is what I bought at the gift shop. It’s a Star Tours passport to Florida. They never have my name personalized, so I gotta get the generic items.

From here we moved onto Muppet-Vision 3-D. This is an awesome 3-D show featuring the Muppets as they demonstrate their new breakthrough, Muppetvision. It’s pretty funny and the theater itself interacts with the movie. They even have balcony seats with Statler and Waldorf sitting in them yelling out insults just like the Muppet Show!! All of your favorite Muppets show up so it’s lots of fun. I love the Muppets so I love seeing this show everytime I go to MGM Studios.

Lunchtime, baby! We decided to eat at the nicest place in the park, The Brown Derby. It’s a recreation of a famous restaraunt in Hollywood, CA. It’s upscale and very nice. We had wine and I ordered strip steak and mashed potatoes. The food was phenomenal. If you go to MGM and don’t have a bunch of kids with you, this is the place to eat. Kids won’t like it much, but it’s a great adult place.

Lastly we hit the MGM backlot tour. It’s really short, and doesn’t compare to the Universal Studios Hollywood backlot tour, but it’s fun. In the beginning they show a special effects presentation featuring Pearl Harbour. They take members of the audience to perform. My group of 4 was chosen to be the participants. My wife had 900 gallons of water dumped on top of her and the rest of us stood on a fake PT boat and reacted to bombs going off around us. It was a lot of fun, but we didn’t get to see the performance. Apparently they take what we did and edit it into a short film that the people in the audience see. Since we were not with the audience and busy taking off our rain-gear we didn’t get to see the edited result and Disney said it gets deleted immediately. I was really disappointed to hear this. When we were “acting” on the PT boat, I really played it up. Running around and screaming like a girl, it was awesome. I totally wanted to see it edited together. Oh well. The rest of the tour took us on a tram ride to see a few abandoned movie props and an exploding movie set. Not bad.

By this point we were out of things to do at MGM, so we decided to park hop over to Epcot center. Epcot was in the middle of some Flower and Garden festival so it was all dressed up in pretty flowers. We first rode Spaceship: Earth which is a slow, meandering history of communication on Earth. It is housed inside the famous white “golf ball” that everyone associates Epcot with. The ride was okay, but it had been a long day and this was a welcome respite from the heat and walking. We then proceeded to the World Showcase and started to visit the countries. We went to Mexico and rode the River of Time. Another meandering “history of…” ride. The Mexican marketplace was cool, but boring. I did enjoy my “fiesta” margarita, as did everyone else in my party. We wound up drinking our margaritas while walking around Norway.

Of the countries we visited this time, my favorite was Norway…and not just because we drank margaritas next to the Maelstrom. The ride, the just mentioned Maelstrom, was fun and random, but the film they showed afterwards was a little on the silly side. Norway does have a cool giftshop where you can buy bad ass Viking helmets right next to not-so-bad-ass sweaters.

We finally stopped when I couldn’t walk anymore. I was so exhausted. We decided to hit a movie after leaving the parking lot. Well, for the next two hours we drove around looking for a theater and found nothing. The only theater we could find was the AMC at Downtown Disney, and there was no way we were getting a parking spot there on Saturday night at 8pm. Believe me, we tried.

So we went to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings and then crashed back at the hotel. This was one of the most fun trips to Disney I’ve ever had. I’m glad I got to do it for my birthday and with our friends, The Stars. It was a blast.

The drive home the next morning was an interesting event. We hit not one, but TWO crashes. The normally 2.5 hour drive back stretched into almost 5 f’n hours. I was so salty when I got home that I could’ve spit. My friend, Dave, slept probably 90% of the way. When we got back to Jacksonville he had no idea we had been stuck in traffic for like 3 hours.

None of this dampened the experience though and I look back on that trip with much fondness.

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Corona Kool-Aid…Ole!

Posted in humor, Kool Aid, Photoshop, pop culture with tags , , on May 11, 2006 by Paxton

The newest flavor…and most fun. Next to Vanilla Ice, this is my favorite creation. How cool would it be to sit down with a bowl of chips and salsa and down glass or two (or pitcher) of this sweet nectar of the gods? Mucho cool, mi amigo.

As far as Mexican beer goes, I prefer Corona Light or Pacifico, but you get the idea. Kool-Aid ain’t just for snotty noses any more. Arriba!!

Check out all my other creative, and completely made up, Kool-Aid creations here.

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Happy Birthday to Me!!

Posted in holiday, humor, personal with tags , on May 9, 2006 by Paxton

Today is my 32nd Birthday. Let’s pause to reflect on the enormity of that statement.

I am 32 years old. Three and one-fifth decades old. The only milestone left in my life, age-wise, is the Presidency. In three years I can run for President. While I do fancy myself the modern day Millard Fillmore, I don’t plan on running for president, much to the dismay of my high school guidance counselor (much love, Mrs. Kolb). I’m having a good birthday today, so thanks to everyone that’s asked.

TV Technology to Prevent Skipping Commercials? Yes.

Posted in technology, TV with tags , on May 4, 2006 by Paxton

”TV

I was checking some tech/entertainment news this morning and this article caused me to do a spit take all over myself and my computer. After wiping up Full Throttle energy drink from my pants and in my cubicle, and then apologizing to the people around me, I got back to reading the article.  Apparently, Royal Phillips Company, also known as Phillips and one of the world’s leading electronics companies, has developed, and is trying to patent, a technology that would freeze the TV channel when commercials are airing.  This technology would reside either on the TV itself or in a set-top cable box and would force TV viewers to watch commercials.

Being a TiVo owner, I have come to loathe commercials like poison.  It’s so nice to be able to flip the fast forward button twice and get right back to the show.  After having done this for so long, the idea of being forced to watch commercials causes my banana and breakfast bar to make a return visit to my esophagus.  Every once in a while, my wife and I will watch a show live and have to sit through commercials.  It’s like water torture.  Not only are most commercials extremely irritating with fast-cut MTV editing, they are broadcast at least one and a half times louder than the show you are watching.  I do admit that there are some commercials I enjoy watching.  The Geico commercials are funny with the gecko and his limey accent.  I also enjoy the Burger King big-buckin’ chicken commercial.  Bud Light will always come up with some genius spots also (to check out the latest funny Bud Light commercials go here).

This technology, however maddening or close to patent it is, could never survive real life testing.  Consumer corporations like Sony and JVC may buy it and put it in their TVs, Motorola and Texas Instruments may buy it and put it in their cable boxes.  This is a technology you know the networks and ad executives can get behind.  And all of this can be implemented inside your hardware and not turned on.  As a matter of fact, this technology could be bundled with a larger service pack and the cable companies told they need it on their boxes to be able to capture the satellite signals.  It will then sit there until one of the companies gets the testicular fortitude to turn it on for a test audience.  The minute Joe Six-Pack can’t change the channel during commercials, he’ll flood the cable company with calls thinking his box is broken or malfunctioning.  The cable company may or may not know what is going on.  The technology will then be turned off and labeled a glitch in the system.  That’s how, in all likely-hood it should play out.

At least I hope so, because if I’m forced to watch commercials, the next logical step is staking out a small place of business and taking a hostage.  You can see me on the news, while being forced to watch the commercials.

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I’m Gettin’ Paid for Web Surfing at this Very Moment

Posted in internet, technology with tags , , on April 25, 2006 by Paxton


According to this article, a judge has told the New York City Council that they can’t fire someone simply for browsing the internet during the workday. The worker, Toquir Choudhri, had served the Department of Education for 14 years. The City Council tried to fire him when they discovered him looking at travel and news sites online. Nice loyalty, huh?

I absolutely agree with the judge’s ruling. The internet has become such a part of our lives now, that it is synonymous with reading the paper or watching CNN. Now, I’m not advocating going out and looking at porn sites or even trolling message forums and chat rooms. I’m just talking about general news searches and information gathering. Most of the time, for myself, when I browse the net, I am looking at news/info sites or I’m on Google looking at tech sites for an answer to a problem. I’ll also check and answer email, but, if you ask me, this has become such a common communication tool for so many people, it’s become analogous to talking on the phone. Instead of calling someone up and seeing how things are going, I’ll email them. The same is true for most people.

If you don’t want people using the internet, then block it with firewalls. I’ve been to several client sites that blocked certain domains from being accessed. Many of my clients blocked popular job searching sites Monster and CareerBuiler.com. Many others blocked sites suspected of inappropriate subject matter. It all depends. I think, though, that internet use has become so benign and widespread, that in downtime at work, when nothing is going on, you should be able to check a few websites as if you were thumbing through the morning’s paper.

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