Archive for January, 2014

Movie Board: The Worst Movies I Saw in 2013

Posted in movies, pop culture with tags , , , on January 15, 2014 by Paxton

Movie Board

I gave you the best movies I saw in 2013, now it’s time for the worst movies.

Battleship (2012) – I thought this movie was going to be awesome. And some of the alien tech is pretty awesome.  But Taylor Kitsch can’t carry a movie.  Plus his character in this is terrible.  How did a f**k up go from being almost arrested for breaking and entering to being forced into joining the Navy instead of going to jail (what? they do that?)  to becoming a COMMANDING OFFICER on a nuclear battleship only 2 years later?  Does the career path of the Navy work that way? Retarded. This movie is BAD. And not in a good way.  Liam Neeson is WASTED and Brooklyn Decker is HOT.  This movie would have been so much better if they had let Kitch’s character’s brother be the lead.  Well, it would have been slightly better.

Rock of Ages (2012) – On paper, this movie was tailor-made for me. A movie based on a hit Broadway show? Check, I’m in.  An awesome soundtrack with 80s era rock and metal? Touche. Tom Cruise? Alec Baldwin? Julianne Hough? Paul Giamatti? Malin Ackerman? BRYAN CRANSTON?! Well played, Rock of Ages.  Well played.  You’ve pretty much hit most of my buttons.  Too bad you squandered all that good will with a terrible goddam movie.  And I LIKE musicals.  Performances were bad on both sides (acting/singing). Story was dumb and weird. I really had a tough time making it through this movie. Check out the horribly awkward Alec Baldwin/Russell Brand number that completely redefines REO Speedwagon’s “Can’t Fight This Feeling”.  I really wanted to like this.  I thought I was going to LOVE it.  I was wrong.  Sooooooo wrong.

Alex Cross (2012) – I’m not what one would call “a fan” of Mr Perry. However, the idea of Matthew Fox as the bad guy is excellent and I thought the trailer looked REALLY good. Again, I was wrong (becoming a pattern). Holy sh*t this movie is a f**king mess.  First of all, Perry doesn’t convincingly play “tough” or “bad ass”, which he needs to do by the end of the movie.  Matthew Fox’s villain is shown in the movie to be this bad ass, ruthless MMA fighter.  He enjoys inflicting pain and he seems to be very good at it.  I’m supposed to believe that puffy Tyler Perry is going to go toe-to-toe with Matthew Fox in a fistfight…AND WIN?!  No, no I don’t think so.  And F**K YOU movie for thinking that is a even remotely plausible.

Escape Plan (2013) – I went back and forth with this one. Honestly, this is a bad movie. The dialogue is terrible and the acting is as well. Curtis Jackson (50 Cent) is embarrassingly bad in his 2 or 3 scenes. However, this movie, for me, is in the “so bad it’s good” category for 1 reason; Arnie and Sly. The fact these two guys are in it, together, make it worth the price of admission. Even though the movie is garbage. Just watch the scene where Sly and Arnie’s characters first meet in the prison. The dialogue is incomprehensible. It’s like they just started filming and told them to “say stuff”.  This movie would be great to get all your buddies together with some pizza, beer and cocktails and just do nothing but make fun of the action onscreen.  It’s terrible, yes, but fun.  Something I can’t say about the other three movies on this list.

Nerd Lunch Episode 114: Nerdstradamus 2014

Posted in movies, podcast, pop culture, soda, TV shows with tags , , , , , on January 14, 2014 by Paxton

Nerd Lunch Podcast

It’s a new year. 2013 is behind us. 2014 lays in front of us. It’s that time for us on the podcast to reconvene and talk about pop culture predictions. First, CT, Jeeg and I sit down and go over all the predictions we made last year for Nerdstradamus 2013.


We count up the ones we got right, subtract the ones we got wrong and pick out a winner (because Carlin insists that there always be a winner). After we pick the winner of the 2013 predictions, the group is joined by Rob Graham in the fourth chair to make all new predictions for 2014.  We predict events in movies, TV, fast food and celebrity news.  It’s a fun time had by all and I expect to do this again next year and see that all my predictions were not only wrong, but embarrassingly wrong.

Download this episode from iTunes or listen to it on Feedburner.

Or listen to it online here.

Movie Board: Favorite Movies I Watched in 2013

Posted in movies with tags , , on January 13, 2014 by Paxton

Movie Board

Here are my favorite movies I watched in 2013. There are a few older movies in here, but everything in this list I watched for the first time in 2013.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) – Yes, the first one, which I didn’t see until January 2013.  Just to set the stage, I didn’t just love the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  I enjoyed it, but didn’t LOVE it.  But the same can be said for me about the books.  The Hobbit, on the other hand, I first read in high school and I LOVED it and have been drooling to see Jackson put the kind of love and detail he did for the Rings movies into this prequel.  And judging from the first movie, he’s done it.  I loved everything about this movie.  The story, the sets, the music, the characters.  LOVED it.  And, as of writing this article, I also watched the second movie, The Desolation of Smaug.  But since it was January, I couldn’t include it here.  But, I LOVE this first movie and that’s why it’s on the list.

Fast & Furious 6 (2013) – I am in love with this series of movies. Especially everything since Part 4.  As a matter of fact, I think I’ve seen every one of these movies in the theater EXCEPT Fast 5.  Huh.  Anyway, this particular entry has become my favorite of the whole franchise.  Great cast, fun story, awesome action.  Excellent teaser scene at the end for Part 7.  Paul Walker’s death was tragic, yes, and it makes me curious how they are going to work around that.

Thor: The Dark World (2013) – The first Thor movie really surprised me in how much I liked it. So I was ready and waiting for this to not live up to it. But it did. I think I may have liked it even more than the first one.  Loki and Thor are great.  I like the return of Kat Dennings and Rene Russo as Frigga gets a chance to shine as well.  This is just a fun movie.  Are there a few problems?  Yes, but it’s fun enough that they didn’t bother me.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013) – I love this movie. Was it as good as the first one?  No, not really, but there is SO MUCH funny stuff in this sequel.  The 70s setting, James Marsden as Jack Lime, Ron going blind, Doby the shark and the insane newsperson battle at the end.  This was as good a sequel as you could get from Anchorman.  Hopefully Dumb and Dumber To will be as good as this.

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Year End Book Report: The Best Books I Read in 2013

Posted in Batman, books, comic books, movies, pop culture with tags , , , , , , on January 10, 2014 by Paxton

Year End Badass Book Report

How did this happen!?  It’s that time of year again where I pick my favorite books of the year?  Is 2013 over already?  WTF?!  Time is just flying by.  My son is 3, my daughter is 1 and I’m writing the fifth in my series of year end book reports.  THAT. IS. COCONUTS.

Anyway, if you’ve read this article in the past you know I keep my book log online.  Here’s the link to my Book Log on Google Spreadsheet.  There are tabs for every year since 2007.  Take a look on the 2013 tab and you  can see that I read 58 books/comics/graphic novels this year.  That’s way low compared to 2012 in which I read 80 books/comics/graphic novels.  However, having two kids will do that to you.  Those totals include not only books I read for the first time but anything I re-read for the second (or more) time.  For the list below, though, I’ll only take into account books I read for the first time in 2013.

And I actually have FOUR books on this list that were released in 2013.  That may be a personal record.

Below you will find, first, my list of favorite books and following that my list of favorite comic books/graphic novels.  Enjoy.


Impulse (Jumper Book 3) – Steven Gould – I talked about this series on the Nerd Lunch podcast last year and I sort of reviewed the first two books on the blog back in 2009.  I enjoyed the movie for what it was but it led me to the books which were published first.  And the books are excellent.  There are three of them; the original Jumper from 1992, the 2004 sequel, Reflex, and then this third book which was released early 2013.  All three books are excellent, but you’ll need to read the first two before reading this book.  There’s a lot of continuity that flows throughout the books.  Oh, and if you hated the movie, don’t worry, other than sharing a few of the same characters, the stories are completely different between the two.  Just a warning, though, there is another “Jumper” book by Steven Gould called Jumper: Griffin’s Story.  That book is not really a part of this series, it’s a part of the movie series.  Confusing? Yes, but that’s the way it is.  Read my blog review above for a little bit more explanation.  All that aside, this is a fun read that I thoroughly enjoyed.  And hopefully we don’t have to wait 10 years for another Jumper book.

The Lies of Locke Lamora (Gentleman Bastards Book 1) (2006) – Scott Lynch – I forget how I first stumbled across this book, I think it was while I was searching the store on my Nook.  I was intrigued by the title and the premise. It’s somewhat like an Ocean’s 11 con man/heist story but set in a fantasy world.  Hard to explain, but the book is extremely well written, has a great world built up within and interesting, smart and dangerous characters.  Gun to my head, I would probably put this as my favorite book of the year.  Just really fun and well written.  I recently bought the sequel, Red Seas Under Red Skies, with holiday money and I’m eyeballing the third book, The Republic of Thieves, which came out in Oct 2013.  Lynch also plans a series of novellas based within this world.  If you like smartly written, character based fantasy with a nice helping of action, this book is for you.

Star Wars: Scoundrels (2013) – Timothy Zahn – Timothy Zahn is one of the best Star Wars EU writers. He wrote the Zahn Trilogy as well as the awesome books Star Wars: Allegiance and Star Wars: Outbound Flight (which made my favorites list in 2010).  This is a Han Solo adventure that also happens to include Chewie, of course, and Lando.  And it’s great.  I honestly hope that when Disney makes the Han Solo stand alone movie, they use this as the blueprint.  It takes place right after the first Death Star is blown up in the original Star Wars: A New Hope. Han gathers a team of expert con men and thieves in order to steal a priceless piece of art from a Black Sun boss.  Han hopes the proceeds from the job will free him of his debt to Jabba.  Lots of well written, fun dialogue and heist action.  There’s also a short story prequel to this book called Star Wars: Winner Lose All that focuses on what Lando is doing right before the actual book. It, too, is a lot of fun.

Star Wars: Kenobi (2013) – John Jackson-Miller – Oh wow, two Star Wars books get to make my list this year. Yay!  This book was very highly anticipated by myself.  I’ve said for years that a movie or book based on Obi-Wan’s “Tatooine Years” would be amazing.  When Disney was throwing out the stand alone movie ideas I said Ewan McGregor as Kenobi should get one.  And this book should be the basis.  It takes place just after Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.  Obi-Wan has dropped off Luke to the Lars Homestead and he’s setting up base in the Judland Wastes and starts getting acquainted with the denizens of a small moisture farming town who are being attacked by Tusken Raiders.  Great book.  Check it out.

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