Being a comedy contributor at Cracked.com like being repeatedly punched in the crotch until you die
Hey, everyone, I don’t know if everybody knows this, but I was accepted as a comedy writer/contributor at Cracked.com. That means I get to make comedy pitches to the Cracked editors and if they accept my pitch, I get to write the article. It was a huge deal for me to be accepted as a writer there and I’ve been stoked to submit pitches to them in the hopes that I can start writing comedy somewhat “professionally”. It’s interesting to see how that website and it’s editors work behind the scenes. They have strict rules about what they accept and I’ve had several comedy pitches turned down by the editors. The editors liked my pitches, but the article format at Cracked is a vicious beast, and I was told the content didn’t fit what they are trying to do. Not to be deterred, I’m taking these failed pitches, writing them anyway and posting them here.
I’ve posted two failed Cracked pitches already without telling you. The articles 15 Steps for Surviving the Zombie Apocolypse and Little Women Fight Club: Making Literature more Awesome were both pitches that were turned down by Cracked.com. If you haven’t, go read those articles and let me know that they are awesome and that Cracked can “suck it”. Because I thought the ideas were good anyway, I wrote them and posted them up for you guys to see. This week’s article is another failed comedy pitch (either I’m not very good at comedy writing or Cracked.com is just not a good fit for me). It’s a re-imagining of an earlier article I wrote about Pop Culture’s Coolest Time Machines. Think of this third failed Cracked article as the previous article’s evil twin brother.
So, I think the frequency of my pitches to Cracked are going to stop for the time being. All the rejects these past few months were kind of getting me down and I was not even wanting to write on this blog. But, I’ve built a bridge, gotten over it, and now I’m back kicking your ass with AWESOME!! Never fear, I’m still here, bringing you the awesome funny that will melt your face into a puddle of sticky goo.
Be prepared, readers. Be prepared.
Oh, and I still go over to Cracked and read their articles because they do have a phenomenally talented stable of writers and their stuff is constantly funny, hence me wanting to join their ranks. I hold no ill will, and I’m still going to try to get stuff published over there, but not as hard as I’ve been trying since January. My focus is writing for this blog and keeping it as cool and awesome as a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the grill.