Pop Cuture’s Coolest Time Machines
I love time travel. I’ve been fascinated with it as long as I can remember. I’ve read countless books on the subject, including Stephen Hawking’s dense A Brief History of Time (it may be brief, but it isn’t light, I’ll tell you that) because he added chapters on wormholes and time travel in the 10th Anniversary Edition. Just the idea of being able to travel in time is cool to me. It’s what compelled me to see Back to the Future 10 times in the theater in 1985 (I’m not kidding…10 times). It’s what got me to beg my mother to let me stay up late on a school night and watch the final hour of Quantum Leap’s 2 hour debut in March 1989. It’s also what compelled me to go see the revamp of HG Wells’ Time Machine with Guy Pearce in the theater in 2002 (it sucked, btw).
Since I’ve read and watched so much stuff, I thought I’d list some of my favorite time machines in movies and/or tv shows. None of these are perfect, I even discuss their problems and idiosyncrasies, but they are cool nonetheless. So sit back and let’s take a look at some of the coolest time vehicles ever created.
The Tardis from Doctor Who – I’ve never really watched Dr Who…EVER, but I’ve always liked the look of his flying time machine/phone booth. This police box is more than just a time machine, it also serves as a base of operations and a space ship. It has the cool feature of being much larger on the inside than you would expect on the outside. They can also change shape to blend in with their surroundings. Apparently, though, Dr Who’s vessel is an outdated model that has a faulty chameleon circuit that is stuck in the police box form. It also is unreliable in it’s time travel because it’s an older model and prone to breakdowns. Sounds like something Han Solo and Chewie would piece together with spit, duct tape and a prayer.
The phone booth from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure – This was a cool idea, and I like the gimmick of it, but in practice it leaves a lot to be desired. There’s not much room on the inside, and other than travelling to the 20th and 21st centuries, the vehicle itself might seem out of place and draw attention. I don’t imagine our forefathers would take kindly to a phone booth popping up in the middle of the White House lawn. However having a “time book” to tell you how to go wherever you want to go would be nice. But, again, Bill & Ted proved it’s pretty easy to be stuck in time when their antenna was damaged. But, again-again, they fixed it pretty easy with some discarded metal canisters. Time travel must not be too hard if Bill and Ted can service a broken time booth. Also, I never liked this movie’s rule that the clock in San Dimas is always ticking. Meaning when Bill and Ted left on their time trip, if they spent 24 hours searching for historical persons, when they return it had to be 24 hours later. That makes no sense. You are in a time machine, you should be able to go back to 1 minute after you left. That’s somewhat the point of time travel, no?
The quantum accelerator from Quantum Leap – This is a cool way to travel as you become someone else and interact with the people around you as that other person. The downside, you have no control over where you are going or if you will ever be able to return home. And you can’t take back souvenirs because your body jumps away into the next situation. So, actually, this time machine sucks. Nevermind.
Time vehicle from Time Cop – This is another cool time transport device. Controlled by rooms of supercomputers, you can pinpoint exactly where you are traveling in time. However, you can’t travel to the future, only to the past and back to your original point in time. Take a look at the picture; the time machine is an angular, wedge shaped vehicle that travels forward on a set of tracks at an extreme velocity towards a brick wall surrounded by some weird, stone circle structure. When it reaches a certain point on the track it pierces the fabric of the time barrier and disappears. Interestingly, the movie alludes to the fact that the vehicle sometimes doesn’t work properly and crashes into the aforementioned brick wall at the far end killing the passengers. My question? Why did they build a wall at the end of the track in the first place? Why didn’t they leave the room open at one end with no wall/giant circle structure to crash into, then when the ship doesn’t pierce the time barrier, it just glides to a stop. Nobody has to die. At the very least they could put some pillows or a giant net at the end to catch the ship. I mean, COME ON, I have three or four better ideas than a deadly brick wall to kill my passengers and I’m not even a futuristic scientist building a time machine. After the ship breaks the time barrier and disappears, the time passengers are dropped into the past…sans vehicle. Where does the giant car-sized machine go as it is not seen in the past at all and magically appears back on the tracks later in the movie?
Delorean from Back to the Future – This is the quinessential time machine. Cool car, acurate time circuits. And at the end of the movie when it gets fitted with Mr Fusion and no longer needs Plutonium to power the time circuits (and it gets the hover conversion), it becomes the easiest and funnest to use. Who wouldn’t want to drive a flying Delorean into the past and/or future? I know I would. Back to the Future made the Delorean cool again.
Time Egg from Green Futures of Tycho – I read this book when I was in 7th or 8th grade. Great story. It’s considered Children’s Literature but the story is pretty dark. Young Tycho finds a silver egg in his backyard. After playing around with it he discovers that it’s actually a time device. He can set some dials on the bottom and press a button on the top and be taken to any destination in time that he so desires. He decides to alter some unpleasant incidents in the past but he soon finds out they have major repercussions on his present…and his future. The time egg is great because it’s small, portable enough to fit in your pocket, and can go both forward and backward in time. It’s instantaneous too, so if you get in trouble, reach in your pocket, flip the dials and press the button for a quick escape. No running back to the time machine or having to start the motor. Very convenient.
How about a few of the worst time machines ever?
Cessna plane from Time Chasers – One of the worst movies ever, but one of the greatest episodes of Mystery Science Theater ever. Science geek Nick Miller builds a time machine out of a Cessna airplane and an Apple II computer. Very cost efficient using a small AIRPLANE to power your time machine…WTF?! Did the scientist think it would just be easier to travel in time with a plane? That’s crazy. Besides, how did this guy afford to pay for a damn PLANE?! He sure as hell wasn’t borrowing it cause I don’t know anyone that would loan some dorky researcher guy a plane just because he asked. Dude must have taken out like 200 payday loans to pay for the plane. How’d he have any money left to buy the computer equipment? You know the plane bankrupted the guy because later in the movie, he takes a reporter lady in the time machine on a date to the future and they eat at an Orange Julius. But you know it’s an Orange Julius in the future because everyone is wearing one piece shiny silver suits and weird head gear. If you watch this, be prepared…or just watch the MST3K version.
Uncle Rico’s time machine – Obviously not a real time machine, but I think it’s the funniest. I laugh just thinking about it. “If only coach would have put me in the game back in ’85. We would have won State.”
Have a good weekend everybody!
Related articles:
7 Time Machines that would suck if they existed in the real world
Technorati Tags – movies time machines time travel books reviews pop culture
Cavalcade of Awesome 
May 20, 2008 at 11:45 pm
Wow. Time chasers. This movie was soo bad, it wasn’t even saved by the MSTK treatment.
I will have to re-watch timecop to see if I can figure out the mystery of the missing time transport. If I can get past Jean-Claude Van Damme doing the splits in every other scene.
May 21, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Dude, the splits are his signature. Seeing a movie where Van Damme DOESN’T do the splits is like going to see the Stones in concert and they don’t play Satisfaction. It’s just not right.
And I disagree, Time Chasers on MST3K was the balls.
June 17, 2008 at 2:27 pm
I always thought “Somewhere in Time” had a great concept. There was no time machine… you time travelled in your mind by disassociating yourself with the present day.
June 17, 2008 at 2:36 pm
True, I always liked Somewhere in Time. Good movie.
June 27, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Thank you so much! I remember reading a book about a boy with a time egg in gradeschool. I wanted to read it again and could not remember anything else about it. A quick search for Time Egg, hit your site, amazon.com, and a copy is on the way! Made my year!
June 30, 2008 at 9:19 pm
No problem. Glad I could help! It’s one of my favorite books!
May 9, 2010 at 10:33 pm
…what? No Time Force Megazord? XD
July 4, 2010 at 11:52 pm
i think it works, honestly all my life i have been searching for it. When i woke up this morning i said i’m going to visit the year 1.5( yes it’s real) and say how you doing to my dinosaur friends( or as you call them reptiles). This movie is on the right track so you should search “time machines” and see what you can find. I want to go back in time and watch my birth.
See yal,
im old gregg
October 21, 2010 at 6:22 pm
You forgot the the Toaster from The Simpson’s Treehouse of Horror V.
February 5, 2011 at 3:40 am
Hey buddy Hans solo and Chewbaca ain’t got shit on a Dr. Who. You should really watch the show before you judge it but I’ll give you props for puttin it at the top. The Tardis isn’t just a time machine, It’s a biomechanical interdimensional time and sub-space reality machine. The coolest part is the tardis is linked to you genetically (though others can pilot it) and can almost think for itself. It was made from an ancient race of aliens known as the timelords. They “policed” time and made sure nothing was interfered with and prevented crimes againt the universe. All knowing beings of divine origin they made the tardis to protect the universe. Plus the tardis has a swimming pool…so yeah
April 30, 2012 at 8:44 am
Easy Beer Brewing…
[…]Pop Cuture’s Coolest Time Machines « Cavalcade of Awesome[…]…
May 29, 2013 at 3:35 am
If you want to obtain a great deal from this post then you have to apply such techniques to your won blog.
March 4, 2014 at 6:21 am
What’s up, all is going perfectly here and ofcourse every
one is sharing information, that’s truly excellent, keep up
writing.
August 13, 2014 at 5:28 am
why was this article pitch rejected by cracked? like what were the exact comments they made?
August 13, 2014 at 8:50 am
I don’t remember the EXACT comments they made. I think they said it would work better as a Photoshop article where people send in their entries.
September 23, 2014 at 6:06 am
Reward your loyal fans with Facebook events,
prizes and promotions.
September 24, 2014 at 10:43 pm
It’s an amazing article for all the internet viewers; they will get
advantage from it I am sure.
September 25, 2014 at 7:14 am
Superƅ, wwhat a weblog it is! This weblog ρresents helpful facts to us,
keep it up.
September 26, 2014 at 1:28 pm
san antonio seo
Pop Cutures Coolest Time Machines | Cavalcade of Awesome
September 27, 2014 at 3:19 am
If you desire too increase your familiarity simply keep visiting this website and be
updated with the hottest information posted here.
September 27, 2014 at 11:56 am
6 ounces of gold, you haven’t made any money, you know EVERYONE.
Other valid reasons that may prompt a sale
are a five-bedroom, 7, 499 were against housing. As you should home listing be prepared to follow high
ethical standards.
September 28, 2014 at 5:16 pm
Hi there!
Will anyone possess the identical problems when i carry
out? Could not appear to any longer meet our partner inside bedroom.
Soon after getting about three young children I’ve dropped your baby-belly
excess fat although I am unable to appear to re-tighten our vagina.
I’ve got to continually complete other things for making them delighted within the
room mainly because oral sexual not excites your pet.
Support! We have started off investigating goods and approaches to deal with this
kind of, can anybody advocate a fantastic 1?
Thanks!
September 28, 2014 at 6:08 pm
This article presents clear idea for the new viewers of blogging, that truly how to do running a blog.
September 28, 2014 at 8:39 pm
What i don’t realize is in fact how you’re not actually
much more neatly-liked than you may be now. You’re so
intelligent. You understand therefore considerably in relation to
this matter, produced me personally believe it from a lot of varied angles.
Its like women and men aren’t fascinated except it’s something to accomplish with Lady
gaga! Your individual stuffs excellent. At all times deal with it up!
September 29, 2014 at 1:46 am
As quickly as the sale was completed, our workforce walked again into the shop to confront owner Charles Hobby – this time with
cameras rolling. Customers private profiles with full profile info modifying, profile likes
& other social networking features! In accordance with Vivid, it will be the first app “designed to make sexually express content material out
there through the new Google TV set prime device”. In high-definition, no less.
Vivid for Google TV is a central part of our making Vivid
available all over the place concept, which provides fans unified access to our content through their
personal computers, cell gadgets, tablets, tv
sets and DVD gamers.” While her mother may have known, her father, Fred,
did not when the Day by day Information spoke to him this week.
September 30, 2014 at 12:48 pm
Beause thе admin of thiѕ web site is worƙing, no doubt
ѵery shortly іt ѡill Ье famous, due to itѕ quality contents.
September 30, 2014 at 10:38 pm
I just like the helpful information you supply in your articles.
I’ll bookmark your blog and take a look at again here regularly.
I’m relatively certain I will learn plenty
of new stuff right here! Good luck for the following!
October 2, 2014 at 12:16 am
Hi there!
Really does anyone have the same issues when i accomplish?
I can not apparently ever again satisfy our lover within the room.
Soon after acquiring several children I have misplaced this baby-belly
excess fat however I can not appear to re-tighten my personal vagina.
I’ve got to continually do other pursuits to make him or her delighted from the master bedroom mainly because
oral sexual intercourse no more excites them. Aid!
I have commenced looking at merchandise along with ways to deal with this
specific, can certainly any person recommend a superb one particular?
Cheers!
October 7, 2014 at 1:39 am
Although maximum site owners are familiar with these concepts,
but they may lack the expertise to do it the correctly.
Today, lots of websites and blogs bring in unheard
of income for their owners merely by promoting another’s company on their web pages.
Make certain that the payment gateway you are making use of,
permits similar languages as the remaining of the web pages so that they can match well together.
October 7, 2014 at 5:31 pm
Hello there, ust became awre of your blog through
Google, and found that it’s really informative. I’m going tto
watch out for brussels. I’ll ppreciate if you cpntinue this in future.
A lot oof people willl be benefited from your writing. Cheers!
October 7, 2014 at 11:05 pm
Asking questions are in fact good thing iff you are not understanfing something
completely, however this article gives pleasant understannding even.
October 9, 2014 at 12:00 pm
I watched as he hacked through countless throngs of thugs – some instantly bleeding out, other people tucking their entrails amongst their legs and crawl-fleeing away – but then he completed the level and one thing strange happened:
absolutely everyone got up. Reduce!” known as the director.
October 15, 2014 at 3:21 am
The procedure itself is much easier on you, as all you need to do is sit and let you healthcare provider work their magic.
safely, cost-effectively and most of all conveniently. The
doctors that I were going to seemed to just give me anything even if they knew it would not work.
October 19, 2014 at 12:13 pm
It’s obvious that lots of women are safely having
children despite possessing herpes.
November 16, 2014 at 12:39 am
I’d like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this website.
I really hope to view the same high-grade blog posts
by you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing
abilities has motivated me to get my very own site now 😉
November 19, 2014 at 11:19 am
Several factors can cause excess fuel to end up in the combustion chambers.
Later they were asked the questions about their problems in sex life.
Due to the reality that this is a recently found portion of the law, it
is unfamiliar how a California judge would choose.
November 21, 2014 at 3:43 am
Opting for a binary option trading platform that will offer
a full range of assets is best advised, especially as that gives you plenty of options at
hand. There are many advantages of investing in the
binary options trading. Enjoy your web training on options and investments.
This all-or-nothing approach to binary options is exactly
why risk-taking traders and brokers thrive on this trade;
for a single payment, a trader could end up making quadruple the binary option’s value.
13 of Banc de Binary’s 58 assets are foreign currencies. It will,
nevertheless, require you to have the time to check out the current market
place movements before making a forecast.
February 27, 2015 at 6:04 am
Binary options contracts have different expiration times, and different brokers
offer them at different expiration times. The fixed
price at which the owner buys or sells at, is known as the
strike price. Lately a young investing team noted over thirty-six good double in a trade deals for a few
days. Numerous dealers invest their funds in it on daily basis.
You will be able to generate fantastic profit with it as well.
The cost of trading is quite less in binary options thus making
it more appealing.
May 14, 2015 at 1:40 am
Hi tɦere, аfter reading this remarkable article і am too ɦappy tօ share my knowledge ɦere withh colleagues.
March 26, 2016 at 4:50 pm
If some one desires expert view concerning blogging afterward i propose him/her to
pay a visit this webpage, Keep up the nice work.
April 25, 2017 at 6:19 pm
Roofing repair contractors
Pop Cuture’s Coolest Time Machines | Cavalcade of Awesome