The Grocery Aisle of long forgotten breakfast cereals Pt II
Allrighty, here’s Part II of the discontinued cereals article. If you missed Part I, click here, my friends, otherwise, let’s walk back down Aisle 7c (Nostalgia) and take a look at some more forgotten cereals from our childhood.
Burgen, flurgen, murgen…BORK BORK BORK!! The cereal with the nonsense name. Swedish Chef was one of the more popular Muppets, so it’s not surprising he got his own cereal. This was released in the late ’80s and the commercials for it were produced by Jim Henson, right before he died. Here is one of the commercials.
What if you want a breakfast food that looks like other food? I mean, why eat donuts for breakfast when you can have cereal…shaped like donuts? Or waffles? Or ice cream? These cereals remind me of that Jim Belushi skit on SNL where he’s an Olympic athlete that eats “Little Chocolate Donuts” for breakfast. See that skit here. Here are cereals based on donuts, including a Dunkin Donuts branded cereal. I actually remember each of these.
Waffles and Ice Cream; two tastes that taste great together. I actually created a Kool-Aid flavor based on Ice Cream Cones cereal. Check it out here. Below are the boxes for Maple and Blueberry Waffelos and Chocolate and Vanilla Ice Cream Cones cereals. I remember Waffelos, but I don’t think I ever tried it. I did, however, used to eat Ice Cream Cones.
Cereals based on movies are a hit or miss endeavor. Take a look at this collection, easily two of these cereals rock. The others are based on ET and Gremlins. I wonder if we’ll see a Watchmen cereal? Here’s the commercial for ET Cereal. And here’s Gremlins. The C-3POs commercial is appropriately awesome because it’s based on the original trilogy. The Star Wars Episode II cereal blew, like most of the prequel trilogy. I believe they also made an Episode III, as well as several other forgettable Star Wars cereal variations, but none were as good as the original, C-3POs. Unlike the lame Star Wars knockoff cereals, this kick ass Batman cereal commercial rocks and uses images and music from the 1989 movie. Gremlins cereal? Really?
Anyone remember this cereal? The cereal itself wasn’t very spectacular, it was the commercial that everyone remembers. The answer to every question is “Nut & Honey”. Here’s that memorable commercial.
Sugar Smacks has a very famous mascot in Dig’ Em the frog. But before Kellogg’s used Dig ‘Em, they used pics of creepy ass clowns. Try not to gaze into their dead, inhuman eyes or you’ll start to feel your soul slowly slipping away. You can almost hear the clowns whisper, “Join me, little one. Join meeeeeeeeeee!” No worries, though, in exchange for your immortal soul you’ll get model speedboats and submarines! **shudder**
Man, these things look ridonkulously sweet. I love Corn Pops, but this might be a bit too sweet. This box totally looks like late ’80s early ’90s, right? Wrong, made in 2001. Another flavor extension for an existing cereal: Candy Corn Pops.
Here are some weird ass cereal boxes that fit into no category except “completely insane”. Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs…WTF?! And the box looks like something from the ’70s. The next one is Magic Puffs. Yes, you heard me correctly…MAGIC. PUFFS. And there’s a smiling disembodied hat flying across the box. Could they put any more overt a marijuana reference on this box? Maybe call the cereal “Pass the Dutchie” and have a giant smoking joint on the front? How about Crazy Cow? Eat any mad cow burgers lately? Then we have Baron von Redberry and his arch nemesis Sir Grapefellow. Other than the fact that their names kick all kinds of ass, they are based on World War I flying aces, which have no connection to cereal at all. Very cool idea, though, as these guys were marketed as nemeses. What can I say about Klondike Pete’s Crunchy Nuggets that can’t be gleaned by looking at the box images and the name of the cereal? It might be the greatest name in the history of boxed cereal. Why this is no longer made will remain a mystery to me.
I think that’s it for today, kiddies. Hope you enjoyed this little trip down Aisle 7c. We may be visiting it again, so stay tuned.
FYI…I’m going to be gone next week. I surprised the wife with a romantic vacation trip I planned for us to take. It’s her spring break next week, so I took the time off and we are going away for several days to just “get away” from it all. I may put up a few short articles, or I may not. Entirely up to what goes down. We’ll see.
Have a great weekend and an even better next week. I know I will.
UPDATE! – See Part III of this article here!