Creating a fantasy baseball team of movie ball players
I took a few weeks off from the League of Extraordinary Bloggers due to several other things going on here with the blog and podcasting. But I like the new assignment Brian gave us this week so I’m jumping back in.
This week, Brian asks us to write about baseball. Anything we want. Now, I’m not a huge baseball fan. I’ve played Fantasy Baseball like once in my life and I never watch the game. However, I do enjoy going to baseball games and I also enjoy baseball movies and video games. I pondered reviewing one of my favorite games Baseball Simulator 1.000 for the Nintendo Entertainment System but I decided to go with an article I almost did for the League’s Expendables Week. I’m going to field a ball team with baseball players from movies.
I went through all of my favorite baseball movies and I’m picking the best players for each position. And by the best players, I mean, my favorite players. So grab your peanuts and Cracker Jacks and let’s play ball!
My fantasy team:
1st Base – Lou Gehrig (Pride of the Yankees) – As played by Gary Cooper in the classic 1944 movie about the baseball great.
2nd Base – Joe Hardy (Damn Yankees!) – Pretty boy Tab Hunter portrayed Hardy in the classic 1958 movie based on the popular stage play. The character of Hardy sold his soul to the Devil, literally, to be a bad ass baseball player. So yes, he’s on the team.
Shortstop – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (The Sandlot) – Obviously, not the kid version, but the older veteran version from the end of the movie. “The Jet” is fast so he’d be a great shortstop and he would most likely be my lead off batter.
3rd Base – Roy Hobbs (The Natural) – Because he’s “The Natural”. Probably one of the single greatest ball players in the history of Hollywood. I would have played him at pitcher (he was able to strike out “The Whammer”), but I have plenty of other talent there. I also thought of putting him in the outfield, but I really needed someone at 3rd Base, and Roy can play any position on the field. So he’s covering 3rd.
Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn (Major League) – This was actually the first guy that popped into my mind when I started fielding this fantasy team. And his entrance theme is required.
Ebby “Nuke” Laloosh (Bull Durham) – The zany pitcher from Bull Durham as played by Tim Robbins. His “atomic” arm will be a big boon to my bullpen. However, with Wild Thing and Nuke in the same bullpen, I’ll need some steely veterans to keep things in check.
Satchel Paige (Soul of the Game) – Old “Satch” here was played by Delroy Lindo in the 1996 TV movie. His wily veteran ways, still strong arm and leadership will hopefully keep Nuke and Wild Thing from melting down.
Billy Chapel (For Love of the Game) – Another Costner baseball player. This might tear the fabric of the space-time continuum if I put Crash and Chapel in at the same time, but I don’t care. I need Chapel’s experience and demeanor as a role model for the younger guys.
Crash Davis (Bull Durham) – One of the best and most underrated catchers in the game. Plus, he can also control Nuke. Again, I may be flirting with continuum breakdowns if I play Chapel and Crash simultaneously, but I’ll let Doc Brown worry about “the science”.
Jake Taylor (Major League) – Tom Berenger’s awesome veteran catcher from the 1989 movie. More veteran leadership for the younger guys. Plus, he’s a hell of a catcher.
Spike Nolan (Brewster’s Millions) – I don’t know if Spike is necessarily one of the best catchers in movie history, but he’d be fun to have on the team. I assure you that.
Babe Ruth (Pride of the Yankees) – You might be surprised that I didn’t pick John Goodman as The Babe from the 1992 movie of the same name. However, do you know who played Babe Ruth in Pride of the Yankees? BABE. F**KING. RUTH. Yes, the Sultan of Swing himself played…himself. So why would I have someone who played Babe Ruth when I could have the real thing?
Willie “Mays” Hayes (Major League) – Of course I want the base stealing, hyper athletic superstar who hits like Mays and runs like Hayes.
Josh Gibson (Soul of the Game) – Okay, I realize that Josh Gibson was actually a catcher, but I didn’t need another catcher and this is my made up fantasy team and I wanted Gibson in the starting lineup so he’s playing outfield. I’m really going to have a tough time deciding my clean up batter.
Jimmy Dugan (A League of their Own) – I need a strong hand to keep all of these wacky characters focused on winning a championship. Dugan proved he could do it with a bunch of women…while drunk.
Lou Brown (Major League) – Lou Brown is another manager that proved he can take a “rag tag” group of misfits and gel them together into a cohesive unit.
The below bench players are essentially my “Honorable Mentions”.
On the Bench:
Isuro Tanaka (Major League 2) – This guy was awesome. Part samurai, part outfielder. Will question the existence of his teammates’ “bells”.
Ty Cobb (Cobb) – Played by Tommy Lee Jones. Considered one of the greatest ball players of all time. Also a horrible racist and misogynist.
Kelly Leak (The Bad News Bears) – The bad boy of the Bad News Bears. Obviously he’d need to train up a bit, but he’s got the talent.
Jack Parkman (Major League 2) – This guy is a complete asshole. And that Parkman “shimmy” makes me want to punch him in the face. However, he can play some ball.
Dottie Hinson (A League of their Own) – The only woman on the team. She’s an all around good player with nice knowledge of the game.
So that’s my team. I like it and I thank Brian for letting me do this as I was contemplating doing it anyway when I decided not to do it for the League a few weeks ago.
Some other entries from The League:
1. Flashlights are Something to Eat talks about backyard baseball
2. leftylimbo talks about Gamestar’s Star League Baseball for the Atari 800.
3. The Dork Horde talks about those awesome collectible baseball helmets some parks served ice cream in.
4. Dex at AEIOU…and sometimes WHY talks about a cool old-timey baseball game.