Cavalcade of Awesome

This is what I wait all year for.  The reason I saw 50+ movies last year.  The Oscar nominations.

I’ve been doing this review of the Oscar nominations for about 5 years now. Check out my Oscar nomination reviews from 2010, 2009, 2008 and 2007.  I’ve clearly shown that I know more than the Academy.  So let’s see what I think of the nominations this year.  I’m only going to look at the “money” categories because no one really cares about sound mixing unless they are actually a sound mixer.

Best Actor
Javier Bardem in “Biutiful” (Roadside Attractions) – Dammit.  Where the f**k did this movie come from?  I saw 50+ movies last year and I’ve never heard of this.
Jeff Bridges in “True Grit” (Paramount) – Yes.  Agreed.  Well done.
Jesse Eisenberg in “The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing) – Just watched this. It deserves all the praise it’s getting.
Colin Firth in “The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company) – This is one of those I know I should see and my wife will want to see, but I’m like…”I’ll pass.”
James Franco in “127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight) – Apparently this movie is NOT a prequel to the 1993 Renny Harlin classic, Cliffhanger, starring Sylvester Stallone.  And Franco does NOT play a younger version of Sly’s Gabe “Mountain” Walker.  I don’t know about you, but that adjusts my expectations to somewhere below…zero.

Supporting Actor
Christian Bale in “The Fighter” (Paramount) – I didn’t like this the first time when it was called The Wrestler.
John Hawkes in “Winter’s Bone” (Roadside Attractions) – I totally thought this was porn when I first read the title.  I was like, “Go Academy!”  Nope.  It’s about a small girl who searches for her druggie dad who put the family trailer up for his bail.  Sounds all lovely and depressing.  My friend Dr Mike’s wife will love it.
Jeremy Renner in “The Town” (Warner Bros.) – Yes, I couldn’t agree more.  This movie is great and Renner is fantastic in it.
Mark Ruffalo in “The Kids Are All Right” (Focus Features) – So both Hawkeye (Renner) and The Incredible Hulk (Ruffalo) from the upcoming Avengers movie are nominated for Supporting Actor awards. That’s pretty awesome. Oh, and Batman. Forgot Bale was up there too.
Geoffrey Rush in “The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company) – This movie got a lot of nominations.  I know my wife is going to want to watch it.

Best Actress
Annette Bening in “The Kids Are All Right” (Focus Features) – Lesbian couple, raising teenagers, Oscar noms, blah, blah, blah.
Nicole Kidman in “Rabbit Hole” (Lionsgate) – A couple’s son dies, they drift apart.  The Academy loves these depressing dramas.
Jennifer Lawrence in “Winter’s Bone” (Roadside Attractions) – Kid searches for trailer park druggie dad.  Not porn.  Touching.
Natalie Portman in “Black Swan” (Fox Searchlight) – Lots of angry lesbian sex between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.  Of course I want to see this.  Too bad it was filmed by Darren Arnofsky who totally ruined similar sex scenes with Jennifer Connelly in Requiem for a Dream.
Michelle Williams in “Blue Valentine” (The Weinstein Company) – Supposedly a very sexy picture. However, I don’t think I would agree because Michelle Williams is not sexy.

Supporting Actress
Amy Adams in “The Fighter” (Paramount) – Amy Adams, however, is very sexy.  And almost makes me want to see this movie.  However, Mark Wahlberg as the lead brings me back to not wanting to see it.
Helena Bonham Carter in “The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company) – Wow, Carter is actually in a movie that isn’t directed by Tim Burton nor is she playing some creepy, weird character.
Melissa Leo in “The Fighter” (Paramount) – Everyone in this movie not named Mark Wahlberg is nominated for an Academy Award which includes both female leads and the supporting male (Christian Bale). I believe this is the Academy’s way of telling Mr Wahlberg he needs to reunite with the Funky Bunch. And I wholeheartedly agree.
Hailee Steinfeld in “True Grit” (Paramount) – Yes!  Totally agree.
Jacki Weaver in “Animal Kingdom” (Sony Pictures Classics) – What?

Best Animated Film
“How to Train Your Dragon” (Paramount) Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois – Yes, fantastic movie.  I didn’t expect this to be as good as it was.
“The Illusionist” (Sony Pictures Classics) Sylvain Chomet – No idea.
“Toy Story 3” (Walt Disney) Lee Unkrich – Great movie.  I fully expect this to win.

Best Director
“Black Swan” (Fox Searchlight) Darren Aronofsky – I do not like this guy’s movies.
“The Fighter” (Paramount) David O. Russell – Man, the director got the nod, too?
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company) Tom Hooper – At first I thought the director was Tobe “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” Hooper.  Obviously, I read that wrong.  But I got pretty excited for a second there.
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing) David Fincher – Wow, I forgot David “Fight Club” Fincher directed Social Network.
“True Grit” (Paramount) Joel Coen and Ethan Coen – Coen’s do it again.  This time with a good movie.

Achievement in visual effects
“Alice in Wonderland” (Walt Disney) – I actually enjoyed this movie when I fully didn’t expect to.  Visually it’s stunning and the story is a lot of fun.  I have no problem with this nom.
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1” (Warner
Bros.) – This movie ruled.
“Hereafter” (Warner Bros.) – The Clint Eastwood movie?  Got a visual effects nomination?  Did they feel bad about leaving him out of Best Director?
“Inception” (Warner Bros.) – Phenomenal.
“Iron Man 2” (Paramount and Marvel Entertainment,
Distributed by Paramount) – Regardless of what you feel the story was, the visual effects were awesome.

Adapted screenplay
“127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight) Screenplay by Danny Boyle & Simon Beaufoy – Damn right this is an adapted screenplay. It steals everything but the AWESOME from Stallone’s 1993 movie Cliffhanger.
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Screenplay by Aaron Sorkin – Can’t argue this.  Sorkin is great.
“Toy Story 3” (Walt Disney) Screenplay by Michael Arndt Story by John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee
Unkrich – Surprised this is here.  Don’t get me wrong, the story is good, but the Academy rarely taps an animated movie as best adapted screenplay.
“True Grit” (Paramount) Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen – YES.
“Winter’s Bone” (Roadside Attractions) Adapted for the screen by Debra Granik & Anne
Rosellini – NO.

Original screenplay
“Another Year” (Sony Pictures Classics) Written by Mike Leigh – ???
“The Fighter” (Paramount) Screenplay by Scott Silver and Paul Tamasy & Eric
Johnson Story by Keith Dorrington & Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson – Continuing the Academy’s “gentle insistence” that Mark Wahlberg do something else besides act.
“Inception” (Warner Bros.) Written by Christopher Nolan – Yes.
“The Kids Are All Right” (Focus Features) Written by Lisa Cholodenko & Stuart Blumberg – The lesbian movie?  Really?
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company) Screenplay by David Seidle – Of course.

Best Picture
Black Swan – I can get behind hot, lesbian ballerinas getting it on.  Even being directed by Arnofsky.
The Kids are Alright – …but not middle aged lesbians raising teenagers.
The Fighter – The “Reunite The Funky Bunch” campaign continues…
Inception – I just learned my dad hated this movie.  I must be adopted.
King’s Speech – I’m Colin Firth, I’m English and everyone loves me.
127 Hours – FYI, I’m apparently NOT a prequel to Cliffhanger.
The Social Network – Surprisingly good for something that everyone calls “The Facebook Movie”.
Toy Story 3 – Soooooo good.
True Grit – I really hope this wins.  I really, really do.
Winter’s Bone – I’m the exact opposite of porn.

This entry was posted on February 1, 2011 at 4:13 am and is filed under Academy Awards, movies, Oscars with tags Academy Awards, movies, Oscars, Oscars Wild. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.