8 “Christmas” movies that have nothing to do with Christmas
I was thinking about un-Christmas movies the other day. What’s an un-Christmas movie? It’s a movie that doesn’t really have anything to do with the holiday season, but just happens to take place during the holiday season. Hollywood loves to associate movies to something that’s popular, like Christmas, but only do it in a tangential way.
So here are 8 movies that take place during the Christmas holiday but the movie plots themselves have really nothing to do with the holiday season. For all we know, the movie could have taken place on Arbor Day.
Reindeer Games – Yes, that one Ben Affleck movie with Charlize Theron. Based on the title you’d think the movie would center on some elaborate Christmas heist. In actuality, the plot centers on Ben Affleck’s character stealing his dead friend’s identity, sleeping with said friend’s girlfriend and a casino heist by that guy on CSI: New York. Oh, and CSI guy may or may not be the brother/lover of Charlize Theron’s character. The fact that this movie happens during Christmas time is almost irrelevant.
Long Kiss Goodnight – This was actually a pretty good movie starring Gina Davis as a housewife who finds out she used to be an elite assassin but lost her memory during a botched job (a la Jason Bourne). Did you remember that the movie takes place during Christmas? That’s why it’s an Un-Christmas movie.
First Blood – This movie is a heartwarming story about a renegade special forces soldier slaughtering police officers in the woods while the town of Hope quietly celebrates the holiday season. What? You didn’t remember that this movie takes place during the holiday season? I guess Rambo violently murdering hillbilly cops kinda distracted you. The sheriff’s office has a tree and some lights as does the town itself. Merry Christmas, Sheriff…IN HELL!!!
Batman Returns – The underwhelming, but not that bad, sequel to the Tim Burton Batman movie takes place during Christmas. There was even a huge tree lighting scene, however, that was about it. The holiday was somewhat overshadowed by Michelle Pfeiffer dressed in leather with a whip.
Lethal Weapon -A suicidal cop is given a partner that is close to retirement. It’s tough to remember that this movie not only took place during Christmas but took itself deadly serious. It’s difficult to watch Lethal Weapon 4 and remember when this series was badass.
Die Hard (1 & 2) – Yes, one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time, that had actually nothing to do with Christmas at all. I mean, in the first Die Hard, other than everyone being in the building for an office Christmas party, was there any other reason for the season? Same thing with Die Harder. If the airport hadn’t been decorated for Christmas and the actors didn’t make a few throwaway mentions in the dialogue, you’d have no idea it was Christmas Eve.
Gremlins – Billy gets the little Mogwai on Christmas, but other than that, there is no mention of Christmas whatsoever. This could have happened on Halloween for all we know.
Home Alone (1 & 2) – Again, did either of these movies really need to happen on Christmas? Kevin could’ve been trapped in the house or in New York on his birthday, or on Flag Day. It wouldn’t have really mattered.
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Cavalcade of Awesome 
December 11, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Great choices! You could kind of put The Ref on that list too.
December 11, 2009 at 3:34 pm
2 nitpicks:
Rambo only killed one hillbilly cop, and he was a real asshole.
There were other plot points to Batman returns than Michelle Pfeiffer in the catsuit?
Awsome Idea for DieHard 5: Arbor Day! “John McCalin’s gonna plant a tree….. in your ass!”
I always figured that putting movies around Christmas was so that it wasn’t as jarring when people had plenty of time off for shenanigans. Can’t say “Sorry hostages, I gotta get up real early tomorrow to light the fryers at KFC, deal with the evil Euro-terrorists on your own.”
December 11, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Maybe I should have said “terrorizing” hillbilly cops who were bullying him since Gault is, in fact, the only one that actually died. He totally jacked up several of the other cops though. And pretty much all of the hillbilly cops were douches.
I could have done without DeVito’s Penguin. Batman Returns was a better Catwoman movie than Halle Berry’s horrible Catwoman movie.
December 14, 2009 at 5:55 pm
lol…great list 🙂
June 6, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Nice list. 🙂
In the case of Home Alone, I think Christmas just provided the best opportunity for an excuse to get the ENTIRE family out of the picture somehow.
To say nothing of giving it a strong tie-in to make it a family movie.
I don’t think those other holidays would have been quite as believable. Heck, they forget Kevin all the time, I can’t imagine them going anywhere for his birthday.
December 2, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Haha! Well, guess that’s why I didn’t realize any of these took place during Christmas. EXCEPT Home Alone. I just don’t think the movie would have been the same if it was set during Flag Day. 😛 Besides–related to your Christmas Song post–the Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree scene in Home Alone 1 is absolutely classic. OK–maybe part 2 (and wasn’t there a 3??) could have taken place on Flag Day instead.
Hmmm–what other posts can I pester you about? 😉
September 9, 2011 at 7:12 am
I really like your writing style, good info, thanks for posting :D. “Freedom is the emancipation from the arbitrary rule of other men.” by Mortimer Adler.