Decadence: Ice Cream Orgasms

Sooooooooooo, even though today is Thursday, I am taking tomorrow off, so you bitches can SUCK IT, today is my Friday. I think I’ll spend today talking a little bit about indulgences. There are a few things my wife and I love to indulge in, ice cream being numero uno. Recently a flavor of Haagen Dazs was released that knocked a few of my planets out of orbit. It’s called Sticky Toffee Pudding.

Like I just told you in the first paragraph, the wife and I adore ice cream. If we could, we would adopt a little ice cream baby and care for him and love him like the real thing. The only problem is, we’d only last so long before his ice-creamy goodness would lure us into eating him and then we’d be labeled cannibals, which would force us to go on the run. Authorities and bounty hunters would chase after us Fugitive-style until a violent and bloody shootout at an old abandoned warehouse ends the entire ordeal. Gwyneth Paltrow and Anthony Michael Hall would portray us in the TV movie and……….wait, where was I….oh, ice cream. As far as flavors, Steph loves chocolate (the more you can cram into the container the better). Me, I gravitate towards regular vanilla and it’s variations (cherry vanilla, chocolate chip, etc).

Earlier this year, Steph and her mother saw a show on Food Network called Scoop which was a reality type show that had people developing the next great Haagen Dazs flavor. The winner turned out to be a British desert called Sticky Toffee Pudding. I was skeptical but Steph convinced me to try it. The verdict? Might be the best ice cream I’ve ever had. It’s tied with Graeter’s Chocolate Chip ice-cream at the top of my list of “Ice Creams to Kill Your Parents For” (Just kidding, Mom and Dad………or am I?). This stuff is phenomenal. If they had it, I’d buy it in giant tubs. I’d purchase extra refrigerators just to be able to hold the giant tubs of Sticky Toffee Pudding I’d buy. My wife said she would bathe in it. I use it as cologne and bathroom spackle. IT’S THAT GOOD. Try it, you’ll thank me. Pretty soon you’ll be frequenting dark alleys looking for your next STP fix.

Welcome to my world.

Have a good weekend.

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