Cavalcade of Awesome

A few years ago I wrote two articles for the Archie McPhee website Monkey Goggles. They also republished two other articles I wrote here (Glorious Glass and Origins of Our Favorite Toys).  It was a fun little site with quirky humor/pop culture articles and I was glad to contribute.  My buddy Shawn over at Branded in the 80s also wrote a few articles for the site.

Anyway, it seems that the Monkey Goggles website has stopped updating.  There haven’t been any new articles for the last year or so (since editor Geoff Carter left).  So, like Shawn, I decided to archive my articles here before they are swallowed by the Internet.  Today, you are looking at the first all-new article I wrote for the site.  It’s about failed soda.

The Cola Wars of the ’80s and ’90s really brought about a lot of competitive creativity between Pepsi and Coke (and to a lesser degree, 7-Up). They threw whatever soda flavor they could conceive of against the wall to see what would stick. Some worked (Cherry Coke, Mountain Dew Code Red), and some blew up in their faces like a novelty cigar (New Coke, Crystal Pepsi).

Instead of marveling at the thrills of victory, let’s wallow in the agony of their failures. Here’s a list of some of the most spectacular soda failures from the long history of the Cola Wars.

New Coke – No list like this one is complete without mentioning the Godfather of all soda failures. Released in 1985, New Coke caused the collective soda-drinking world to lose its damn mind. Coke drinkers actually tried to levy a class action lawsuit against Coke for releasing the new formula. (Seriously.)

It was a fiasco. Coke was forced to bring back Coke Classic not three months after releasing New Coke. After the return of Classic Coke, New Coke was re-branded Coke II and then died a slow death in 1992. The “Classic” moniker still exists on the can to this day. (Read a more complete history of New Coke here).

Crystal Pepsi – Apparently Pepsi wanted in on all the hate mail and lawsuits Coke got for New Coke. So they decided that they too would try something new. In 1992, Crystal Pepsi was released with great fanfare, including a high-profile commercial during that year’s Super Bowl.

Unfortunately, Crystal Pepsi failed to live up to expectations. A clear cola that didn’t have a lemon-lime taste frightened and confused the soda-drinking public. It became more a novelty than a soda to be taken seriously. Many people don’t remember, though, that for its first year Crystal Pepsi sold well enough to grab an 11% market share (and caused Coke to release the next item on this list). After that banner year, however, the bottom dropped out and Crystal Pepsi’s sales plummeted.

As a last ditch effort, Pepsi reformulated Crystal Pepsi with a lemon-lime flavor and re-branded it as Crystal by Pepsi. Too little, too late.

TaB Clear – Coke released this clear soda in 1992 after the strong first year sales of Crystal Pepsi. After the clear soda crash that same year, it was quickly discontinued.

OK Soda – In 1992, Coke decided to try something new and released this less carbonated, more fruity soda with anunconventional marketing campaign. Fliers, soda “manifestos” and “underground” phone numbers with voicemail were used to target the youth market. This tactic was definitely different, but it backfired as the targeted audience realized it was being marketed what executives at Coke believed to be an “edgy” soft drink. After poor sales, OK Soda was discontinued in 1993.

7 Up Gold – Released in 1988, 7-Up Gold was a real departure for 7-Up. It had a spicy taste similar to Ginger Ale and it contained caffeine. According to reviews, the taste was terrible and the soda was canceled within a year.

DnL – This second departure for 7-Up came in 2002. DnL was formulated to be the opposite of regular 7-Up (the logo is even the 7-Up logo turned upside down). 7 Up is a clear soda in a green bottle. DnL was a greenish soda in a clear bottle. Also, unlike regular 7-Up, DnL was heavily caffeinated and had a more difficult-to-identify, citrus-y taste. It was discontinued in 2006 after poor sales.

Mountain Dew Sport – This 1990 release was designed as a “sports drink” to compete with Gatorade. A diet version was also released the same year. In 2001, ten years after Mountain Dew Sport was canceled, Pepsi decided to simply buy Gatorade outright.

Mello Yello Melon and Afterglow – In order to spice up flagging Mello Yello sales (and in response to the success of Mountain Dew Code Red), Coke released these two flavor extensions around 2003. However, peach- and melon-flavored Mello Yello did not exactly set the soda world on fire and they were canceled within a year.

Pepsi Patio – Released in 1963 as a response to Diet Rite cola, this was Pepsi’s first diet drink. There were several Patio flavors: cola, orange, grape, strawberry and root beer. Patio was canceled within six months of its debut due to poor sales.

However, it was not a total loss.While the other flavors in the Patio line were dropped, the cola flavor was reformulated and re-introduced as Diet Pepsi in 1964.

Coke C2 and Pepsi Edge – Both released in 2004, these rival beverages were meant to be “full-flavored” diet sodas (meaning: they were somewhat “in-between” sodas that weren’t fully diet, but not full-calorie, either). Coke and Pepsi had trouble marketing the sodas, and sales of both suffered. Pepsi Edge was discontinued in 2005, but Coke stuck with Coke C2 until 2008. Interestingly, Pepsi Max and Coke Zero now fill the void these two sodas left behind.

This entry was posted on November 10, 2011 at 8:00 am and is filed under Coca Cola, Mountain Dew, New Coke, OK Soda, Pepsi, pop culture, soda with tags Coca Cola, Monkey Goggles, Mountain Dew, Pepsi, pop culture, soda, sodapalooza. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.