Even more awesomely vintage advertisements

Earlier this year I looked at several awesomely vintage comic book advertisements (such as the infamous Cube Lube) as well as a bunch of vintage and weird movie posters.  Old vintage ads and posters are awesome and hilarious and they seemed to be pretty popular with readers.  So I thought I’d take a look at some more vintage advertisements from my Flickr photostream.

Click the images to make them BIGGER.

Super Hero Time Machine
The Super Hero Time Machine (1977) – Why they didn’t just call these “watches” I have no idea.  Great looking ad, though.  Interesting that it’s all DC characters except for the one Spider-Man watch.

Chuck Norris Right Guard
Chuck Norris and Right Guard (1993) – Walker Texas Ranger roundhouse kicks underarm odor into submission, one armpit at a time.

Chuck Norris Action jeans
Chuck Norris Action Jeans – “Won’t bind your legs” when you’re high kicking the sh*t out of some punk’s face. (Via Branded in the 80s)

Right Guard Lime Deodorant
Right Guard Lime Deodorant (’70s) – This is weird.  Lime deodorant?  I didn’t know it, but there still exists a Gillette Lemon-Lime Shaving Cream.  What’s next?  Is Kool-Aid releasing a deodorant flavored drink?

Rumple Mintze ad
Rumple Mintze Peppermint Schnapps (1993) – This is the greatest liquor ad I have ever seen. EVER.  Giant Battle Polar Bear, half naked warrior chick with an eye patch and a sword as big as she is, a frozen wasteland of snow and a huge bottle of ice-cold liquor.  Rumple Mintze has just won advertising.

Macho cologne
Macho cologne by Faberge (1976) – It’s a men’s cologne named Macho and it’s shaped like a penis. I’m assuming, in Russian, Faberge does not mean “subtle”.

Lee clothing
Lee clothing ad (1976) – Check out Willy Wonka here. That suit is awesome. He looks like the mayor of Munchkin City.  Those pants look like a picnic table.  Or a couch my grandmother had.  And how ’70s is that yellow background?  My parents’ kitchen had counter tops and appliances in that color.  Why, ’70s?!  Why?!

Champale ad

Champale (1975) – The chick on the right looks scared.  And she should be.  Mustache dude looks like he’s trying to get her drunk on Champale (was Boone’s Farm too expensive?).  Then, instead of “Get set for living” it’ll be “Get set for raping”.  Am I right?

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6 Responses to “Even more awesomely vintage advertisements”

  1. I can’t stop laughing at the Rumple ad. It is such “badass” advertising for something that is completely not-so “badass” like peppermint schnapps. The porn star in the bottom champagne ad totally looks like he has something up his sleeve for the unaware young lady in his arm. Something not to her liking.

    I used to have those Chuck Norris jeans with the adjusted inseam. No s***.

  2. I wonder if they still make jeans like ACTION Jeans, just without the branding…

  3. I love vintage ads. I’ve been thinking of blowing up and framing some from the 40’s and 50’s for my kitchen.

  4. haha!! Oh my god, the chuck norris jeans. The macho cologne is obscene!

  5. I want those jeans… and the high heeled cowboy boots to go with them. You think anyone wants a rounhouse kick to the face when I’m wearing those bad boys?

  6. I remember when those jeans came out. A friend of mine saw the ad and insisted that they were unnecessary, and that his jeans never ripped when he kicked like that. So we challenged him to give it a try, and after several high kicks, his jeans were still intact. Our assessment: his balls were too small to rip the jeans. But not Chuck’s. Yep, it must be that Chuck’s balls are too big, that’s why he needs the extra fabric.

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