Weekly Geeks 2009-07 – Interview with Barney Stinson
Weekly Geeks, time, people. You, in the back, take that iPod off or I’ll strangle you to death with the headphone cord. Pay attention.
Okay, this week’s theme is “A Character Conversation”. They want you to pick your favorite character from a book and invite them to your blog for an interview. Not a bad idea. I remember doing this exercise in one of my Honors English classes. Yes, I realize I could just say “english class” and not include the Honors, but a) I want you to know I took Honors English because I’m needy and shallow like that and b)…well, there is no b), I pretty much covered my reasons in a).
Anywho, I had several characters I could choose from but I’ve decided to invite one of my heroes, Barney Stinson, to The Cavalcade for an interview. Barney can be seen on the CBS TV show, How I Met Your Mother. However, Barney also penned the bestseller The Bro Code along with Matt Kuhn. I read The Bro Code last month and was thoroughly entertained. I thought this could be a dynamite interview.
I initially got no response the first time I contacted Mr. Stinson. Nonplussed, I continued to try. Not receiving a response on my second try, I had to get serious. I emailed Barney and told him that this really hot Russian gymnast and her best friend really wanted to meet him, so I asked if he would show up to be my “wingman”. I got an immediate response and he met me at his local hangout, MacLaren’s bar.
*Barney slides into the booth wearing his customary suit*
Barney: Whut uuuuuuup.
Cavalcade: Hey, Barney, how’s it going?
Barney: *Looks around* Where’s the gymnast? I want to see her swing on my pommel horse! Am I right? *Holds hand up for high-five*
Cavalcade: *Reciprocates high-five* You know it. So, there is no gymnast. Or the best friend. I invited you here to ask you a few questions. I’m Pax, from the Cavalcade of Awesome.
Barney: *looks at me askew* Duuuuuude. Not cool.
Cavalcade: *hangs head in shame* I know.
Barney: However, I have nothing else going on right now so fire away some questions. Who did you say you were again?
Cavalcade: Paxton, from the blog Cavalcade of Awesome.
Barney: Hey! I’ve read your blog! Fantastic. You stand by the same principles I do. Life, ladies and the pursuit of being AWESOME!! That piece you did on getting the iPhone (click here) was LEGEND——–wait for it, wait for it
Cavalcade: I’m waiting
Barney: wait for it,
Barney: wait for it.
Barney: —ARY!!!!! Dude, you are a fellow gentleman and scholar.
Cavalcade: Thanks for the really long yet very flattering praise. I read your blog too. It’s filled with undeniably useful info like the hot/crazy scale for women and your online video resume. I particularly like your resume. It’s eye-catching. Almost hypnotic. I wanted to hire you after watching it and I don’t even own a company.
Barney: Yes, that is the general reaction. I have a similar video for my “ladies in waiting” if you get my drift.
Cavalcade: I think I do, and I don’t want to see it because I may actually want to apply for that.
Barney: Hey, speaking of totally awesome things, I saw the cover for your autobiography, Shark vs Ninja. I tip my hat to you, sir. Appropriately awesome. Include a giant nuclear explosion or a mutant lizard and you may have the cover to my autobiography.
Cavalcade: Can we expect to see one in the future?
Barney: Not only will you see it, but it’ll probably not even be written down but beamed directly into the pleasure centers of the brain. Why mess with books and paper? It’s so blue collar, you know? I’ll have the contents of my story projected unhindered into your brain keeping the awesome-ness contained within undiluted and…..um…. *raises voice to a hoarse whisper* AWWWWESOOOOOOOME!
Cavalcade: Wow, I can’t wait to have my entire body controlled by “Barney-Vision”.
Barney: Hey, that’s good. I’m gonna use that. Thanks. Well, I gotta split, dude. It’s been real, talkin’ at ya like this but I have a….you, know, thing. *checks watch and leaves without waiting for an answer*
Cavalcade: Allright, so there you have it folks. An interview with the world’s most awesome person alive. Mr. Whut-Up himself, Barney Stinson.
Check out How I Met Your Mother on CBS Monday nights. Also, check out Barney’s blog on the CBS website.