A look at some crazy, vintage Superman merchandise

Superman Week

Well, it’s Day 2 of Superman Week here at the blog. I’ve got some good stuff today celebrating Superman so let’s take a look.

Superman is one of those pop culture icons that has produced A LOT of merchandise. I mean A LOT. And because so much stuff has been produced, inevitably, someone falls asleep at the wheel and certain products are released of questionable value. I’m going to look at a few of these ridiculous pieces of Superman product. Click the images below to go to the web page where I found these little pieces of insanity.

Superman Water Pistol
Superman Water-Squirting Head – At first glance this seems like a simple kids water pistol in the shape of Superman’s noggin. But if you think about it, the whole thing looks like Superman is spitting at you. Would Superman do something like this? Spit at you? Maybe if you drank White Zinfandel, because that is inexcusable, but not during the normal course of the day would Superman deem it necessary to hurl expectorate at you. He could just melt your head with his heat vision.

Superman Hood Ornament
Superman Hood Ornament – Yes, this is a Superman Hood Ornament. A. Hood. Ornament. For your car. Can you imagine pulling into work with this iron monstrosity on your hood? “Bob, I always thought your 1965 Corvette needed something. And I finally figured out what it is, the Superman Hood Ornament. It would really class up that boring old Vette’s hood.” It also can be attached to your bicycle. WHA?! Putting this on a bicycle would be interesting, because a bicycle HAS NO HOOD. Next best place is on your handlebars. Great idea, put a huge sharp metal object right where your face would go if you crash or have to stop suddenly. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Kryptonite Rocks(Via Jeff Houck)
Kryptonite Rocks – Well, let it never be said that corporate isn’t a bunch of greedy SOBs. Pro Arts advertised these beauties in comic books in the ’70s. They painted rocks green, threw them in a box, slapped a Superman logo on it, then called it a day. How’s that for laziness? I would love to have been in that pitch meeting. “I’ve got a great idea. We go out into the atrium of this building, we pick some nice rocks, paint them green, then sell them to kids as Kryptonite. We’ll slap a Superman picture on the box, they won’t know the differnce. They’re kids.”

Superman Peanut Butter(Via Jason Liebig)
Superman Peanut Butter – I had to include this item in the list. It’s actually pretty well known, and a lot of people ate it. Including me. The peanut butter was awesome, it’s just, what the hell does Superman have to do with peanut butter? I mean really? Aside from that, this stuff ROCKED.

And the final item of today is…..

Kryptonite Kool-Aid – Kill Superman with just 2 quarts!!! Now, this product is not real, obviously, I made it. It’s a part of my crazy Kool-Aid flavors, but it fit in this list so I wanted to add it.

Well, I hope you enjoyed today’s entry for Superman Week. Since tomorrow is the national opening day for Superman Returns, I plan on reviewing the original 4 Christopher Reeve Superman movies for Day 3. That’s a big undertaking, so we’ll see how it goes.

Check out the other days of Superman Week here:

Day 1 – Review of Look, Up In The Sky: The Amazing Story of Superman
Day 3 – Review of Christopher Reeve Superman Movies
Day 4 – Stupid Superman Powers
Day 5 – Review of Superman Returns

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