In a move that furthers my theory that eventually, all companies will be owned by two or three giant corporations, Belgian beer makers, InBev, announced that they had purchased American owned Anheiser-Busch this week for $70 a share (or about $50 billion…yes, billion with a ‘B’). Anheiser-Busch had scoffed at a previous offer, only to back pedal and fall all over themselves when the Belgians threw even more money at them. In order to stifle concerns about a foreign company owning a traditionally American company, spokesman said the headquarters will remain in St. Louis, no American breweries should be closed and 2 seats on the Board at InBev are reserved for Anheiser-Busch executives.
Should be interesting to see how the Belgians handle the Budweiser brand. Will working class Americans still drink Bud now that it’s technically a Belgian import like Stella Artois or Beck’s? Will Europeans drink the lighter, watery Bud beers despite traditionally enjoying the darker, heavier brands? It’s a risk all around for InBev, which will now be called Anheiser-Busch InBev. Nice name. More importantly, however, will the Belgians be able to continue Budweiser’s tradition of their always classic and hilarious TV advertisements? I’m concerned because the Belgians’ sense of humor is not exactly world reknowned.
In preparation for the immediate stoppage of funny Budweiser commercials, I thought I’d take a look back at some of my favorite Budweiser commercials from years past. It’s funny, doing research for this I realized there were several commercials that I thought were Bud commercials, but weren’t. There was also one I couldn’t find. It involved a guy on a date in a Chinese restaurant and he spots a hottie at another table. He proceeds to order his food loudly by entree number (because most Chinese places number their dishes) so as to spell out his phone number, “I’ll have a FIVE and another FIVE and a TWO and one of the THREE….” It was pretty funny, however I couldn’t find it.
So here are some of my favorite Bud commercials. Click the commercial titles and/or images to see them on YouTube.
Swear Jar – This is one of the more recent commercials. I think it aired two years ago during the Super Bowl. Watching people in an office cursing at every opportunity just makes me laugh. Also, watching the boss’ tirade in the meeting had me on the floor. Great commercial.
Brazilian Fighting Cockatoo – I love this commercial. I think this aired three or four years ago. It stars a fighting cockatoo bird that acts like Al Pacino in Scarface. The cockatoo actually first appeared in this commercial, where he was protecting his master’s Bud Light. I think I like the one in the bar where he’s protecting a lady from an unwanted suitor. “Step Back? I step all the way back to Hackensack, my friend!” I wonder who is doing the Al Pacino impression?
Cut the Cheese – This commercial was supposed to air during the last Super Bowl, I think, but it was cut at the last minute. I’m not sure why they didn’t show it. I think it aired the next week a few times but hasn’t been seen since. It’s actually really funny how they work in several different euphemisms throughout the commercial and I love that it takes place in a deli somewhere in New York or New Jersey. This could be a lost episode of the Sopranos.
Jackie Moon TV Spots – Earlier this year Will Ferrell did some TV spots for Bud Light in character as Jackie Moon from his movie Semi-Pro. The movie was only so-so, but this commercial spot was HILARIOUS. Here’s another one here. Semi-Pro just came out on DVD, so I may give it another chance because I didn’t think Anchorman was funny the first time but now I love it. I bet most of these tv spots were improvised. “Bud Light, Suck One”. “Bud Light. I’m horny”.
Dude – This is a simple one, but it plays on the versatility of the word ‘dude’. Very simple, yet very funny.
Apology-bot 3000 – There were a few of these Apology-bot commercials but I like this one with the guy apologizing to his girlfriend the best. I love the little balloon at the end that says “My Bad!” on it. LOL. Here’s another one set in a Japanese restaurant.
Bud Ice Penguins – Allright, I’ll end with this one. A classic from the mid-’90s, the Bud Ice Penguins. Doo-Be-Do-Be-Doooooooooo! Here’s another one. These penguins were creepy yet funny at the same time.
I found many more that I thought were hilarious but I didn’t want to go on and on. Some honorable mentions? How about Magic Fridge? Or this one featuring a mother telling her soon to be married daughter how to make her marriage last? There’s also the “WHAAAAAASUUUUUUUP” (“What Are YOU Doing!?“) series of commercials and the Real Men of Genius ads that I get so much enjoyment from (Mr Over the Top Carb Counter). Maybe I can even do a followup to this article. We’ll see.
Have a good weekend everyone. I’m off to Atlanta to join my wife at one of her friend’s wedding.
The Tardis from Doctor Who – I’ve never really watched Dr Who…EVER, but I’ve always liked the look of his flying time machine/phone booth. This police box is more than just a time machine, it also serves as a base of operations and a space ship. It has the cool feature of being much larger on the inside than you would expect on the outside. They can also change shape to blend in with their surroundings. Apparently, though, Dr Who’s vessel is an outdated model that has a faulty chameleon circuit that is stuck in the police box form. It also is unreliable in it’s time travel because it’s an older model and prone to breakdowns. Sounds like something Han Solo and Chewie would piece together with spit, duct tape and a prayer.
The phone booth from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure – This was a cool idea, and I like the gimmick of it, but in practice it leaves a lot to be desired. There’s not much room on the inside, and other than travelling to the 20th and 21st centuries, the vehicle itself might seem out of place and draw attention. I don’t imagine our forefathers would take kindly to a phone booth popping up in the middle of the White House lawn. However having a “time book” to tell you how to go wherever you want to go would be nice. But, again, Bill & Ted proved it’s pretty easy to be stuck in time when their antenna was damaged. But, again-again, they fixed it pretty easy with some discarded metal canisters. Time travel must not be too hard if Bill and Ted can service a broken time booth. Also, I never liked this movie’s rule that the clock in San Dimas is always ticking. Meaning when Bill and Ted left on their time trip, if they spent 24 hours searching for historical persons, when they return it had to be 24 hours later. That makes no sense. You are in a time machine, you should be able to go back to 1 minute after you left. That’s somewhat the point of time travel, no?
The quantum accelerator from Quantum Leap – This is a cool way to travel as you become someone else and interact with the people around you as that other person. The downside, you have no control over where you are going or if you will ever be able to return home. And you can’t take back souvenirs because your body jumps away into the next situation. So, actually, this time machine sucks. Nevermind.
Time vehicle from Time Cop – This is another cool time transport device. Controlled by rooms of supercomputers, you can pinpoint exactly where you are traveling in time. However, you can’t travel to the future, only to the past and back to your original point in time. Take a look at the picture; the time machine is an angular, wedge shaped vehicle that travels forward on a set of tracks at an extreme velocity towards a brick wall surrounded by some weird, stone circle structure. When it reaches a certain point on the track it pierces the fabric of the time barrier and disappears. Interestingly, the movie alludes to the fact that the vehicle sometimes doesn’t work properly and crashes into the aforementioned brick wall at the far end killing the passengers. My question? Why did they build a wall at the end of the track in the first place? Why didn’t they leave the room open at one end with no wall/giant circle structure to crash into, then when the ship doesn’t pierce the time barrier, it just glides to a stop. Nobody has to die. At the very least they could put some pillows or a giant net at the end to catch the ship. I mean, COME ON, I have three or four better ideas than a deadly brick wall to kill my passengers and I’m not even a futuristic scientist building a time machine. After the ship breaks the time barrier and disappears, the time passengers are dropped into the past…sans vehicle. Where does the giant car-sized machine go as it is not seen in the past at all and magically appears back on the tracks later in the movie?
Delorean from Back to the Future – This is the quinessential time machine. Cool car, acurate time circuits. And at the end of the movie when it gets fitted with Mr Fusion and no longer needs Plutonium to power the time circuits (and it gets the hover conversion), it becomes the easiest and funnest to use. Who wouldn’t want to drive a flying Delorean into the past and/or future? I know I would. Back to the Future made the Delorean cool again.
Cessna plane from Time Chasers – One of the worst movies ever, but one of the greatest episodes of Mystery Science Theater ever. Science geek Nick Miller builds a time machine out of a Cessna airplane and an Apple II computer. Very cost efficient using a small AIRPLANE to power your time machine…WTF?! Did the scientist think it would just be easier to travel in time with a plane? That’s crazy. Besides, how did this guy afford to pay for a damn PLANE?! He sure as hell wasn’t borrowing it cause I don’t know anyone that would loan some dorky researcher guy a plane just because he asked. Dude must have taken out like 200 
Uncle Rico’s time machine – Obviously not a real time machine, but I think it’s the funniest. I laugh just thinking about it. “If only coach would have put me in the game back in ’85. We would have won State.”
The weekend before last, the wife and I made our third visit to Savannah, GA. It was for her birthday. It is one of our favorite places to go because there is so much history in this little city and there’s so much to do. Lots of great restaurants, cool site-seeing tours and many places of interest can keep one busy for hours. History buffs can appreciate all of the early American history and buildings and Hollywood buffs can appreciate all of the Hollywood movies and tv shows that have been filmed here. When we lived in Birmingham, AL, we were a whopping 6 hours away, but now that we live in Jacksonville, FL we are only 2.5 hours away. And we love it.
Saturday Night Live – E-Z Date
Really?! with Seth and Amy
MacGruber
9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous claims Al Queda
White House Press Secretary Spins Wife’s Death into Positive
Cavalcade of Awesome 