So, I’ve shown you my favorite movies of 2012. Let’s now take a look at the worst movies I saw in 2012. The movies in this list are culled from my online Google Spreadsheet, just like my best of list, but I don’t just look at movies released in 2012. I look at any movie I watched for the first time in 2012.
So here are the worst movies I watched last year.
Conan The Barbarian (2011) – Holy s**t, W-T-F, dude?! Want to know how to f**k up a Conan movie? THIS is how. You cast someone devoid of charisma. And make the movie boring as balls. And completely waste a nude scene with Rachel Nichols. AND RON PEARLMAN WAS CONAN’S FATHER!!! Considering all of that, it’s amazing just how AWFUL this movie is. So much wasted potential. This movie should make the “long walk” into the woods and kill itself.
Abduction – Here is where they tried to turn Lautner into an action hero. And it fails. Partly because the movie is just that f**king stupid, but also partly because Lautner is terrible in it.
Moonraker – Watched this in preparation for the Nerd Lunch James Bond episode. And it’s every bit as terrible as everyone said it was. Actually worse, because I was shocked how incredibly bad it is. It’s called Moonraker, there’s a shot of Bond in space on the cover and it isn’t until 15 minutes are left in the movie until you actually get into…you know…SPACE. F**K THIS MOVIE.
Tinker, Tailor Soldier, Spy – Disappointing. This isn’t a bad movie, per say, like the movies above. This is just long and boring and really confusing. Not what I expected, nor what I wanted. Excellent cast, though.
Those are essentially the movies I liked the least this year. Most of them are just bad movies. Usually the list is just filled with disappointments.